Polter-Cow (spectralbovine) wrote,
Polter-Cow
spectralbovine

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To Camp in Gerunds

Things That Are Amusing/Interesting/Fun/Hilarious/Notable While Camping in Sequoia National Park with Your Family:
  • Finishing Stardust, which, though good, is different from the movie in several ways and quite anticlimactic in the way Gaiman often seems to be.
  • Requiring five people to put up a tent.
  • Being told it is a FEDERAL CRIME to park on the dirt.
  • Seeing three wild deer just walking around in the grass.
  • Violently thwapping branches against trees and logs to break them (the branches, not the trees and logs).
  • Noticing that bears who get a taste for human food and become dangerous must be "destroyed," rather than "killed" or "put down" or "executed" or anything else that doesn't sound like they blow them up with a fucking rocket launcher
  • Referring to your ten-year-old cousin as Bear Bait.
  • Reading in a tent by flashlight.
  • Roasting your sock over the campfire to dry it.
  • Playing with your mom's foldable cane.
  • Seeing the largest living thing on earth, by volume: General Sherman, the Giant Sequoia of Giant Destiny.
  • Noticing the various accents, languages, and ethnicities represented by the tourists.
  • Walking into Crescent Meadow, a lovely array of tall, white flowers, and laughing at your siblings and cousins pretending to be in a Bollywood song-and-dance routine.
  • Seeing a rattlesnake on the trail, slithering away and shaking its rattle.
  • Almost being killed by a tiny pine cone that drops from hundreds of feet in the air and makes an unholy zoooooooming sound right in front of you.
  • Wondering what its terminal velocity was.
  • Slapping a giant sequoia's absurdly soft, spongy bark.
  • Hugging it afterwards.
  • Checking out Tharp's Log, the log that Tharp lived in for years, with a wooden table and a wooden shelf and a wooden bed and a wooden...you get the picture.
  • Rushing to the side of a standing-room-only shuttle to catch a glimpse of a bear, a bear!
  • Wondering what mad genius decided graham crackers, marshmallows, and chocolate would make a potent combination.
  • Using a lantern.
  • Listening to your Shuffle as a way to escape from the madness.
  • Experiencing the rejuvenating powers of the gold-filled Hume Lake.
  • Discovering that the band name Straylight Run is a Neuromancer reference.
  • Finishing Neuromancer and realizing that countless video games like Shadowrun, movies like The Matrix, and books like Snow Crash (and even Perdido Street Station) were all influenced by it.
Tags: books, family, lists are less time-intensive, movies, personal
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