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I'd Like to Test That Theory - The Book of the Celestial Cow

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June 29th, 2007


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05:00 pm - I'd Like to Test That Theory
The interesting thing about toothpaste is that, while it seems to exist in some sort of phase between liquid and solid while in the tube, it loses almost all elasticity when pressed vigorously against one's teeth. It is as if it can only hold itself together for so long before exploding in dental bliss. And it only gets a few seconds to do its work on the teeth, a few precious seconds to experience a proper life outside the tube before it's spit into the drain to be mixed with untold, indescribable sludge. The mayfly has it better.
Current Mood: sillysilly
Current Music: Peter Bjorn and John - Young Folks

(15 memoirs | Describe me as "inscrutable")

Comments:


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From:miniglik
Date:June 30th, 2007 12:19 am (UTC)
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Been smoking the good crack?


Hee. That was cute.
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From:areacode212
Date:June 30th, 2007 12:45 am (UTC)
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What about that annoying dollop of unused toothpaste that sticks to the sink, and resists all attempts to move, no matter how much water you splash at it?
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From:spectralbovine
Date:June 30th, 2007 01:13 am (UTC)

Re: two stories

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I smear the toothpaste on my toothbrush.
I...don't even understand how that works. With what, your finger?

One morning, the entire white hotel was covered in black mayflies. It was truly like a horror movie.
Eep!
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From:incidentist
Date:June 30th, 2007 01:58 am (UTC)

Re: two stories

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I imagine the way it works is, she puts the mouth of the tube just above, and parallel to, the bristles and squeezes, so that it comes out as a flat layer rather than a tube-shaped dollop. I've prepared schematics if you'd like to see them.
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From:spectralbovine
Date:June 30th, 2007 02:01 am (UTC)

Re: two stories

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Aaah. That's generally how I do it too. I was thinking she somehow got it all frothy beforehand.
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From:squaringkarma
Date:July 2nd, 2007 04:00 pm (UTC)

Re: two stories

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I love lemons. I sometimes neglect the teeth brushing, but lemon-flavoured toothpaste might be able to change that. Heh. I wonder where one may be able to procure such a brand.
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From:punzerel
Date:June 30th, 2007 04:46 am (UTC)

Re: two stories

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I do that too! I smoosh it into the bristles. But not in a froth-creation way, just in a flattening way. I don't want a gollopy gob of toothpaste in my mouth...apparently this is weird though?
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From:truemyth
Date:June 30th, 2007 12:57 am (UTC)
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Are you suggesting we start rubbing mayflies on our teeth instead as some form of cosmic redressing of drainage wrongs?
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From:spectralbovine
Date:June 30th, 2007 01:14 am (UTC)
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I'm glad you caught the subtext.
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From:truemyth
Date:June 30th, 2007 01:21 am (UTC)
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I'm also pretty sure you implied that the toothpaste is sleeping with it's brother. But I was wearing my fandom glasses at the time.
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From:incidentist
Date:June 30th, 2007 01:54 am (UTC)
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I look forward to the day when I click on the "the wonderful world of toothpaste" tag and find a "Previous" link at the bottom.
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From:the_partyman
Date:June 30th, 2007 12:13 pm (UTC)
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Dude.

You so have a point!
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From:electricmonk
Date:July 1st, 2007 11:44 am (UTC)
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Ah, but then there's the rare bit of toothpaste that achieves immortality by being squished into a hole in a dorm room wall. That toothpaste must feel blessed.
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From:toughcookie42
Date:July 1st, 2007 01:06 pm (UTC)
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okay, so last night I had a dream that we were trying to smoke pot that came in the form of a pack of cigarettes. We were confused about which end to light and eventually we gave up and went out to dinner, skipping straight to the munchies part.

And then this morning I get this.

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