Polter-Cow (spectralbovine) wrote,
Polter-Cow
spectralbovine

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Sis. Boom. Bah.

From what I can glean from the radio commercials, tonight's Heroes season finale was supposed to cure cancer or something.

Surprisingly enough, I am not as cataclysmically disappointed as I really should be, given my expectations of "complete and utter flailtacular OMG HOLY FUCKING SHIT awesomeness." Because that was not it. But I will have it out, focus on the awesomes, and just enjoy the ride.

So the Mexican standoff didn't actually last three hours; that was just bad editing last week. How cute are Molly and Matt? He could just adopt her! She doesn't have parents, anyway.

Sylar is so awesome. I love that he can flip through the future like a visual Rolodex. He truly is the best user of powers ever, since his fundamental ability is seeing how things work. I mean, he can even make paintings appear on the canvas with MAGIC.

And speaking of magic, Molly Walker's sick again for no discernible reason! And Mohinder is now spiritually connected to her because he gave her his blood. Intriguingly, there is one person Molly cannot see, someone even scarier than Sylar (!). "When I think about him, he can see me." OMG IT'S VOLDEMORT.

I like how Molly's power comes with a precise knowledge of cartography.

Claire is also awesome. I love that she just jumps out a window, knowing she'll be okay. That's how you use those powers, girl.

Sylar vs. Ando was good fun, and I was genuinely worried for a moment. I loved that Ando was all, "You can't have my brain!" and Sylar was all, "Er, why the hell would I want it anyway, nimrod?" I didn't particularly understand the confrontation with Hiro because Sylar just stood there while Hiro blipped Ando away; it was hard to tell Sylar was doing anything at all, although you could see he'd gotten a couple inches. Of surface wound. Even though he was threatening to cut his head off, so even a few inches of that would have been very serious to Ando. And I'll stop nitpicking that now. Because, aw, Ando taught Hiro about courage. Just like Charles Deveaux taught Peter about heart. But who will teach Kelly about brains?

So, the only logical explanation regarding the Charles scene is that when Peter blacked out, he went back in time and immediately became invisible and confused. It was cool to get confirmation that he was one of Them, but we still don't know what the hell his power is! Or Mama Petrelli's! Or Sulu's! I liked that while he seemed to be behind the Bomb Plan, he didn't come off as malevolently evil as the rest of the wackos. He saw Peter's potential. And then...oh my God, he did not just deliver a thirty-minute monologue about the POWER OF LOVE and how ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE and how LOVE WILL SAVE THE WORLD. It's always love that saves the world, Christ! One of these days, it'll be extreme apathy. You just wait.

Meanwhile, there's this whole thing where THREE THOUSAND YEARS LATER, Niki realizes she has superstrength.

Noah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, here's the thing. We've been waiting, like, ALL SEASON to see how they're going to stop New York from blowing up. I expected it to take, like, half the episode. And instead the entire episode is just waiting (slightly awesome waiting, mind you), and the actual scene we've been waiting for for MONTHS occurs in the LAST TEN MINUTES. Look, you guys, I'm calling foul here. It wouldn't be as annoying if the first fifty minutes were more action-packed and super-revelatory, but they weren't. They were kind of slow, and it was sort of a niggling suspense rather than well-earned, edge-of-your-seat tension.

Peter vs. Sylar was hardly even a fight! Peter did shit. Sylar, as usual, is 210% awesome and makes up for everyone else. Why has no one with telekinesis ever done that bullet trick before? WHAT THE HELL, NEO? You don't PICK THEM UP. You SHOOT THEM BACK. And look at Niki, finally, joining the fight! I thought it was cool that they were having multiple Heroes involved in this confrontation, but it didn't really last that long. I did like that Peter immediately absorbed Niki's superstrength and started beating the crap out of Sylar.

There was that cool exchange about Peter being the villain and Sylar being the hero that would be much cooler if it made any sense at all. How the hell does Sylar get to be the hero in all this? A) Peter is going to explode. B) Sylar is GOING TO DIE. How the hell was he planning on surviving the explosion, especially if he was Ground Zero? I really like the sentiment, because great villains always think they're in the right, but...I didn't get it.

And here comes Hiro, fulfilling the prophecy! And...NO WAY. HE DID NOT JUST KILL SYLAR. NO FAIR. SILLY LITTLE MAN. YATTA. But, God, even when he's dying, Sylar can toss people around like rag dolls with his magic fingers (how awesome was it that he was able to telechoke Peter while still fighting three other people?).

Now Peter is primed to explode, and Claire has to do what she said she'd do, and she doesn't want to, and...NO. LOOK, GIRL. JUST SHOOT HIM IN THE FUCKING HEAD. HE WILL NOT DIE. THE BULLET WILL NOT STAY LODGED IN HIS BRAIN. IT WILL STOP THE RADIATION OVERLOAD. THEN JUST GET HIM INTO RADIOACTIVE REHAB. NO ONE HAS TO DIE. FOR GOD'S SAKE, HE CAN SURVIVE BLOWING UP. I THINK HE CAN SURVIVE A BULLET TO THE BRAIN.

But instead, Nathan flies down, and he must have superhearing because he's able to insert himself into the conversation they were just having. Unless he just assumed that "God, they're probably having that 'There's no other way!!' discussion. My line is 'Yes, Claire, there is.' Wait, let me try that again. 'Yes, Claire, there is.' Okay, got it. Up, up, and away!" And I sort of love the way this scene is shot because, in the radiation glow, Nathan looks almost ethereal, like a heavenly angel come to save them all. And I love that this totally fits with Peter's original vision, of Nathan calmly walking toward him while everyone else runs away. But, but...CLAIRE COULD JUST FUCKING SHOOT HIM, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. Peter saved the cheerleader so they could save the world? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN? BECAUSE NATHAN MET HIS DAUGHTER AND LEARNED HOW TO LOVE OR SOMETHING? Nathan didn't have to sacrifice himself, dammit! Maybe he flew away after dropping Peter off. He sure does fly fast. And Peter's probably cooling off in the Hudson River now.

Sylar lives!! He better be hiding out in the sewer, recovering. Or maybe he turned into a cockroach. Nice touch, by the way.

And then, what? "End of Volume One"? And they're starting "Volume Two" RIGHT NOW? Oh, the advantages of being renewed.

Hey, that guy looks burnt. Or dead. But it's not Peter, it's Hiro. And...HE APPEARS TO BE IN FEUDAL JAPAN. Samurais! Kensei! Who looks sort of like his dad! Japan! 1600s! Holy shit! OMG ECLIPSE. OLD-SCHOOL POWERS, LIKE THE ABILITY TO MANIPULATE A PRINTING PRESS. Is the second season going to be entirely in seventeenth-century Japan or WHAT? The storytelling possibilities truly are endless on this show, it seems.

So, that was fun. Somewhat anticlimactic, and not as exuberantly exciting as I would have liked, but it's a good time when hot folks have superpowers. Bring on the next season finale, in which new character Jasper Sands comes to an epiphany in the last ten minutes that if he just says, "Please," Godzilla will stop destroying Tokyo.

spectralbovine: Heeeey.
spectralbovine: Volume 1 is called Genesis.
spectralbovine: Volume 2 is called Generations.
spectralbovine: Maybe Volume 3 is, er...Gender.
spectralbovine: Genevieve.
spectralbovine: Gentrification.
jeeperstseepers: Gentlemen
jeeperstseepers: Gentrification is good.
spectralbovine: Generalities.
jeeperstseepers: Genuflect
spectralbovine: Genocide.
jeeperstseepers: Gennifer
spectralbovine: Genoese.
Tags: heroes, tv
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