Polter-Cow (spectralbovine) wrote,
Polter-Cow
spectralbovine

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Scissors for Crafty

It is so damn hot I am posting without a shirt on. Curse my lack of air conditioning.

Let me first start out by saying the one thing that was clearly running through all of the minds of the people in the audience but yet managed to escape the minds of everyone in the show for some inexplicable reason:

KEEP PETER AWAY FROM TED, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

I...I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. "HERE IS THE MAN WITH THE POWER TO BLOW UP NEW YORK. SINCE I BLOW UP IN THE FUTURE, I MUST HAVE TAKEN HIS POWERS. LET ME GO AND MEET HIM."

I...I...CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME PETER'S LOGIC?? PETER, LOOK AT MY ICON. THAT IS WHAT CLAUDE THINKS OF YOU.

I...look, I know this had to happen for the plot, but did no one seriously question the wisdom of this maneuver? I don't understand why no one said, "Er, Peter, maybe you should stay away from this guy. Because then YOU WILL NOT BLOW UP."

So, more on that later. Let's focus on Sylar, because that also leads us to a world of stupid, even though it starts out good. I found it interesting that Sylar was hesitant about mass murder. Because it was one of those things we sort of took for granted the whole time, you know? He's the supervillain; of course he wants to decimate New York. He doesn't need a motivation! He's evil! But we've been shown that Sylar is more complex than that.

He's right, you see. Blowing up New York does nothing for him. It doesn't give him extra powers or anything. It's just needless death. And while we've seen him take innocent lives before (have we? I can't remember now. I'm just remembering how he attacked Claire's mom), it's because they're in his way. You know, now I'm trying to think. Have we seen him kill anyone whose brain he wasn't going to eat? Or at least thought they had a brain worth eating (sorry, Decoy Cheerleader Whose Name...Jackie!)? (Also! Molly Walker finally confirmed the brain eating! Woooooo!! Zombie boogeyman!)

It's sort of awesome that he calls Mohinder first, though. He must have really bonded with him during their buddy comedy "I like pie" days. But his second choice after "Mohinder" (which, really, is as good as "pass") is his mommy.

They didn't forget the superhearing!! That was great. Except apparently Ando has no heartbeat.

The stuff with Sylar and his mommy started out good; I liked that they went back to his roots as a watchmaker. I was a little confused by the character progression to "Maybe I shouldn't be special" coming from the self-proclaimed Nietzschean Superman. Hey, Sylar? Afraid of blowing up New York? DON'T EAT TED'S BRAIN. IT'S EVEN EASIER NOT TO DO THAN NOT FUCKING BEING AROUND HIM. Okay, okay, the destiny theme was rolling throughout the episode, understandably, given Isaac's paintings. But still. Well, it's a tale as old as Sophocles, really. How do you thwart a prophecy? Especially when your mother makes hilarious assertions about your ability to be President?

I thought the indoor snow globe was sweet, although when did Sylar eat a bubble-making man?

All right, let's get down to it. THE SCISSORS. OH MY GOD. The old "Two people struggle with a weapon and one of them dies" trick. I thought you were better than that, Heroes. What's worse, it made NO GODDAMN SENSE.

A) The scissors were pointed toward Sylar.
B) They were A FOOT BELOW where they ended up.

In order for what we saw to have happened, Sylar would have had to accidentally lift the scissors up a foot while turning them around, which, in those close quarters, would have cut him up the middle, and then stab his mom downward.

It was stupid. BUT. I will forgive it because drawing the mushroom cloud with her blood?? AWESOME. That's the creeptastic Sylar I like. Even though I have no idea what changed his mind, really. You know, I feel like I didn't know what the hell was going through anyone's mind during this entire episode. Mostly.

Speaking of people's minds, let's talk about Mohinder and The Walker System a.k.a. Molly Walker! People speculated that Mama Petrelli could track the supers, but, nope, it's this little girl. But rewind a bit as Mohinder regrows that spine of his and tells Thompson what's what! Good job. That earns you points, which you subsequently lose in the next scene.

Thompson introduces Mohinder to Molly Walker. Mohinder looks on the computer and sees what's wrong with her. He keenly observes that her nucleotides are falling apart, or whatever. And then he says that he's no use to her, because he's a geneticist.

OH REALLY. I CANNOT IMAGINE WHY A GENETICIST WOULD BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT NUCLEOTIDES, WHICH HAPPEN TO BE THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF DNA. WHICH IS WHAT GENES ARE MADE OF. OKAY SO MAYBE A BIOCHEMIST WOULD BE BETTER SUITED TO THIS TASK. SOMETIMES I LIKE YELLING.

I wonder whether Mohinder is going to have Issues now that he realizes the only reason he was even born was to save his dead sister.

Let me interject here with a Moment of Awesome to counteract the yelling: Nathan's blasé reaction to "You can fly?"

I love Claire, but she was sort of annoying in this episode. And I just figured out why. This entire episode was spent forcing characters to conform to their predetermined paths. But the best way to do this is to elegantly dovetail the organic progression so that there is no other way things can go. Instead, they called attention to the fact that all of these characters are sort of flitting about waiting to save the world when, really, the best thing to do would be to, I don't know, GET TED AWAY FROM EVERYONE. They put in all these momentary conflicts of hesitation to fill up the space as they line up the pieces. It's tough because, yes, fighting destiny is interesting, but wouldn't it be much easier and less frustrating if Claire said, "All right, I'll stay here and save the world. I can't die anyway, right?"

Speaking of frustrating! I can't fucking figure out what the hell is going on with the Company anymore! I mean, are they just a bunch of totally evil assholes or what? Thompson knows about The Plan too? Mama Petrelli helped come up with The Plan? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

Aaaand let me throw in a couple nice Claire moments to balance that out: "My destiny is not to shoot you. The universe cannot be that lame." And, of course, the Clairebear/Bennet reunion hug! Aww!

It may not sound like it, but I did really like the episode, even though it was one big bucket of contrivance. That is television, after all. And it's in the name of the greater good. Which is THE AWESOME FINALE THAT BETTER BE AS AWESOME AS AWESOME CAN BE, AFTER ALL THIS AWESOME WE'VE ALREADY BEEN AWESOMED WITH.
Tags: heroes, tv
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