Polter-Cow (spectralbovine) wrote,

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Who Wants to Marry an Indian Dude?

I do have one small order of business to take care of first.

Dude, which one of you donated A HUNDRED DOLLARS to my AIDS Marathon fund? Because I think I broke my feet yesterday, but I am amazingly grateful for your generosity. I don't recognize the name, though! If only we had credit cards in our LJ names. If you want to remain anonymous-like, I understand, but do know that you've pretty much got the contest in the bag. Unless some other people organize to take you down. Thanks to everyone who's donated so far! I've got over $300 already. What's even more amazing is that, collectively, we runners have raised over $28,000 already. And we haven't even begun training! Go AIDS Foundation, go!

So my mom has been on my ass to give her my biodata, which is essentially my dating résumé. Because finding a wife is a long, arduous process, and if I don't find one soon, I'll be 35 and still not have a wife! Woe upon my Cylon heart! I must be some sort of hot commodity or something because the Mohinder Sureshes of America are already asking my parents if I would take their Kelly Kapoors off their hands. I am of marrying age, after all, and I'm going to expire soon.

My biodata is what gets passed around the Indian community to advertise my total awesomeness as husband material. So this may very well be the most important document of my life. Which is why, rather than make it the boringest boring that ever boringed, I got a little more creative. Because what do where I went to school and how tall I am really say about me, anyway?

My parents will probably hate it (since they won't get any of it), but I figure that if my potential mate is out there, she'll dig it. Of course, her parents will probably hate it (since they won't get any of it), so I'm likely screwed. Whatever. Life will find a way.

I present to you a first look at my biodata. Suggestions?

Being the BIODATA of one POLTER-COW, this document falls under the bylaws and tariffs of the Desi Arranged Marriage Notification and may not be reproduced and/or distributed without the express written consent of Wolfram and Hart or one of its subsidiaries.

Name: Move along, Googlebots!
Height: 5' 7"
Weight: 130 lbs
Date of Birth: September 12, 1981
Handedness: Right
  • University of Michigan-Ann ArborM.S. Pharmacology, 2005
    • "I think you're the smartest graduate student we have around here...in terms of your native ability to think."—Dr. Pratt
    • University of Michigan Gilbert and Sullivan Society, Do Random Acts of Kindness, Michigan Daily (science writer)
  • Rice UniversityB.A. Biochemistry and Cell Biology, B.A. English, 2003
    • "Well, you're not completely stupid."—Dr. Mitchell
    • George Williams Prize in Fiction
    • Rice Light Opera Society, Marching Owl Band, University Blue (literary magazine), Rice Film Appreciation Society, Students Organized Against Rape
Occupation: Medical Writer, Drug Safety, at ethicalmedical.net, Emeryville, CA
Avocation: Identification of stations for the initiation of sensations of elation without complication
Location: Oakland, CA
Television: Veronica Mars, Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Office, Heroes, Dexter, Battlestar Galactica, Whedonverse
Books: The Remains of the Day, The Time Traveler’s Wife, Dealing with Dragons, Watership Down, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, Thief of Time, Cryptonomicon, Watchmen, The Sandman
Comics: Fables, Powers, Y: The Last Man, Ex Machina, 100 Bullets, Daredevil
Marvel or DC? Marvel
Beatles or Elvis? Beatles
Cake or death? Uh, death, please. No, cake! Cake! Cake, sorry.
Cell Phone: 800-976-EVIL
Movies: Groundhog Day, Go, Fight Club, Memento, Moulin Rouge, Magnolia, Kill Bill: Volume 1, The Princess Bride, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, His Girl Friday
Music: Garbage, System of a Down, Incubus, Eddie from Ohio, Tegan and Sara, Of Montreal, Nine Inch Nails, Emm Gryner, The Dresden Dolls, Ladytron, Green Day
Numbers: 4 8 15 16 23 42
E-mail: nospam@arachnophobia.com
Claim to Fame: [censored for modesty]
Coolness: 6.7 actual, 14.8 perceived
Even with nougat: You can have a perfect moment.

Father: Wasn't a glassbender (Toli)
Mother: Your mom! (Ruva)
Brother: My very own Winchester (Trinity University)
Sister: Not constructed by monks (Lamar High School)
Hometown: Arlington, TX

Now, I also want to add some testimonials. You know, "But don't take my word for it!" So if you all could come up with some nice soundbites about me (that are suitable for parents!), that would be swell. Don't worry, I won't credit people by name or anything. But it would be a fun thing to add, if it's allowed.

Who wants to marry an Indian dude?
Tags: being indian, desi arranged marriage notification, family, girls, personal, pictures, reader participation, see cow run
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