Fine, don't. Bitches.
Will you go vote for Melanie's pumpkin, then? #8 - His Noodly Embrace! You guys have taken her to second place in just a day, and you have the power to MAKE HER WIN. One vote a day! Swing by when you're bored and do a clicky! I'm not asking for much. It's not like I'm asking you to watch Avatar or anything, which I will do in just a few days, once I finish catching up.
And now we proceed to the matter at hand.
HOLY CRAP BSG IS GOOD AGAIN. THANK THE GODS.
I knew something was up when I actually liked the Lee/Dualla scene in the beginning. They really seemed like a good pair there.
And then. Tigh and Ellen. And I thought, "He's going to forgive her. He's going to forgive her. He understands why she did it. He won't do it. He can't do it. He'll stand up for her."
Honestly, I'd almost stopped paying attention to the scene for some reason, and then the cup fell, and I couldn't believe it. This show. When it's good, it takes no prisoners.
And then. Drones. Decoys. GALACTICA FUCKING JUMPING INTO THE FRAKKING ATMOSPHERE AND BEING ALL AFLAME AND RELEASING HORDES OF VIPERS AND THEN JUMPING RIGHT OUT WHILE STILL AFLAME BECAUSE IT ONLY CAME DOWN THERE TO RELEASE THE VIPERS QUICKLY AND SAFELY AND JESUS CHRIST THAT WAS THE MOST FUCKING AWESOME THING THAT SHIP HAS EVER DONE ADAMA YOUR BALLS ARE THREE THOUSAND TIMES THE SIZE OF MOST MEN'S.
And then, oh my God, poor Baltar! So fucking emo! Look at him! He's not a villain! He's just misunderstood! And kind of spineless in most circumstances. It was so sad to see him like that and ACK HOLY GOD GAETA I BARELY EVER NOTICED YOU FOR TWO YEARS AND SUDDENLY YOU HAVE LOGICAL AND APPROPRIATE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AAAAAAH DO NOT KILL MY BALTAAAAAAR.
The mood of the scene was partly broken because I was trying not to laugh. Witness this bit from Jacob's recap of the last episode, which I just read today:
...this means that next episode has to end with a gun to somebody's head. I've seen the show, isn't that how it works? "I'm getting my men," followed by a gun to the head? The thing is, it should be easier than this to narrow down exactly who will have the gun to their head. Will it be Ellen Tigh? Who will be holding the gun? Will it be Gaius Baltar?
It's just so fucking hilarious that Jacob really has pinned down the show's formula.
And Baltar! Simultaneously suicidal and seeking redemption!! OH BALTAR. God, he was amazing in this episode. (Um, if you're new, I love Baltar. And Six. And Baltar/Imaginary!Six. And Six/Imaginary!Baltar. Not so sure how I feel about Baltar/Six. OH CAPRICA.)
And then, crap, Galactica is frakked and Adama just sort of...gives up. Wow. He just says...it's over. He knows they can't win. I mean, I expected him to give some sort of rousing speech about going down fighting, but he's all, "It's been an honor. I'm going to go slurp some noodles (OMG DUDE ADAMA IS TOTALLY IROH.)."
And what's going on on the ground is just immensely confusing, as the plan seems to be EVERYBODY RUN AND GET INTO THE NEAREST SPACESHIP NOT PILOTED BY A CYLON. It's all sort of chaotic, and I don't try to follow it, and I just assume that everyone's getting off unless they tragically trip and fall, which, unfortunately for Jacob, does not happen to Cally.
And Anders is actually kind of awesome and cool and badass. And Kara kills Leoben in front of Kacey, and the little girl is scarred for life.
And then Baltar finds Hera and EEE TINKLY CYLON THEME HI IMAGINARY SIX IN RED DRESS. I wonder if Caprica knows that Baltar still sees her previous incarnation. I wonder if Baltar knows Caprica...well, I guess we don't know for sure that Caprica sees Baltar in her head. She seems much more well adjusted now. But but but but but WAIT WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THEM FUCK THEY LEFT THEM ON THE FRAKKING DUMBASS ROCK.
And then Galactica is getting its ass whooped, and suddenly a huge stream of missiles comes out of nowhere, and I say, "Oh, Pegasus, you dirty bastard," and the camera makes sure we see the name of the ship because YEAH WE THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE SOME OTHER GIANT SPACESHIP. And, and, and, how awesome was the "Damn you, Lee"/"Thank you, Lee"? Huh? HUH? Adama pwns everything (OMG SEE ADAMA IS TOTALLY IROH.).
And then, haaaa, they totally blew up Pegasus because they were so damn tired of having to deal with two ships! Back to the status quo! The show's not called Battlestars Galactica and Pegasus! But, no, seriously, you're telling me they do all that with computers? And maybe models? They don't actually have giant spaceships they launch into space and film? Because I'm not sure I believe you.
And nooooo, oh my God, Leoben TOTALLY FUCKED WITH KARA'S HEAD. Kara is crushed. She doesn't really have a daughter. She's not really a mother.
And yaaaaaay, Adama TOTALLY SHAVES OFF THE PORNSTACHE OF HAIRY SYMBOLISM. I find it hilarious that they spent an entire scene on that. I find it brilliant that it actually worked. Maybe they will have a Rocky montage where Lee slims down and LOSES THE PUDGY GUT OF LIPOSYMBOLISM.
And Roslin says, "This is bigger than us. This is life," but she really means, "This is death," and, really, that's just what went through my head at the time, and I thought I sounded like Jacob.
Look, I don't care that they basically reset the show by, you know, destroying that pesky other ship and getting them off that pesky planet. Because I'm so much happier about it now. They're supposed to be on the damn ship. On the run.
But I really, really, really want to know what the Cylons' next move is.