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Ask Me Five Questions and I'll Tell You Five Lies - The Book of the Celestial Cow

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March 26th, 2005

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10:10 pm - Ask Me Five Questions and I'll Tell You Five Lies
sterope asks:

1. What is your favorite episode of Lost so far?
Well, everyone loves "Walkabout," but as with most things, it's hard for me to pick just one favorite episode. My favorites so far are, besides "Walkabout," "Confidence Man," "Raised by Another," "Special," and "Numbers." Note that three of those episodes were written by David Fury.

2. Who do you think will (or do you want to) die on Lost? (If you read spoilers don't answer this question or I will smite you.)
I'm a spoilerphobe, so I don't know. Although allthelivesofme did point out that it's statistically likely to be a male character, because you are not taking away one of my four pieces of eye candy when you all get TEN MEN to ogle. And of all the men, I think Boone is probably the most useless. He doesn't have much of a function currently. Everyone else brings something to the group, and he's expendable. My second guess would be Jin, but they might want to milk the Sun/Jin angst as well as the Michael/Jin angst and the Hurley/Jin whatever-that-is. And also, I want Gavin to have a job.

3. Um... what is a good song or band I should listen to?
Ladytron - Playgirl

4. What is your favorite sandwich?
I don't have favorites! I love chicken, and I'm quite fond of the chicken salad sandwich at Potbelly. But the mushroom Swiss Big Mouth Turkey Burger at Chili's is also good. Oh, and the chicken cheesesteak at Texadelphia. And anything from Schlotzsky's! Mmm, sandwiches.

5. What would be the best way for Alias to redeem itself? ;)
Syd and Nadia make out.

nsfinch queries:

1. Where are you from originally?
I was born in San Francisco. After some moves due to my dad's residencies (he's a psychiatrist), we ended up in Arlington, Texas, where I lived since third grade. Yep. I'm a Texan. Yee-fucking-haw.

2. Is your undergraduate degree in science, or writing? Or both? Or niether? What was your favorite class in undergrad?
I majored in biochemistry and English. AND STOP WITH THE FAVORITES QUESTIONS. Let's see. Some of my favorite classes include Shakespeare on Film (for which I wrote a portion of Macbeth as a noir flick using most of the cast of L.A. Confidential), The Gothic and Constructions of National Identity in U.S. Literature (for which I read both 'Salem's Lot and Absalom, Absalom!), Introduction to Theatre (for which I designed a radio and television ad for a hypothetical production of The Yeomen of the Guard), and Dramatic Writing (for which...well, it was Dr. Mitchell. He's a character.). My fiction writing classes were also pretty good, and I kind of liked second semester organic chemistry. That may have been cause I liked the professor, whose lab I proceeded to do all my Rice research in.

3. Are you a stickler for grammar and punctuation? Do you know your way around a semicolon? Do you have fights with other people about the merits of the m-dash versus the n-dash?
Yes, pretty much. I copy-edit on sight; I use semicolons. I allow myself to take some liberties, however, because I am an English major, the English language bends to my will. I don't fight about dashes. Hyphens, sometimes, but not dashes.

4. Why does too much potassium mess up your heartbeat? Does too little potassium do anything bad? Why is the symbol for potassium "K"?
Those first two questions are better answered in the blog, and you should ask them there. Maybe I will answer them in my "spare time." As for the symbol for potassium, phosphorus had already taken P, and scientists like Latin. The Latin name for potassium is kalium. K is also the symbol for the amino acid lysine. I don't think K ever stands for anything that actually starts with a K.

5. Where do your usernames come from?
A long time ago, I used to play games. Toejam and Earl 2: Panic on Funkatron on the Sega Genesis, for one. One of the enemies was this ghostly cow that possessed your character and caused him to have convulsions, making him lose energy. I dubbed it a "Polter-Cow" and thought it'd make a good story. And then, to my surprise, I actually wrote that story. Like I needed to pay attention during driver's ed. It was the first big story I'd written simply for the sake of writing it, because I had a story I wanted to tell. It's a symbol of my beginning as a writer. I am spectralbovine here because I am anal about my hyphen: "poltercow" simply does not look right.

fishinginthemud bitches:

1. What annoys you most about humanity in general?
The fact that people can't grasp the concept of doing nice things for other people simply because you can.

2. Why do some people look really hot with shaved heads and others look like fried, battered ass on a stick?
Gentlemen, what we have here is a terrifying example of the reindeer effect!

3. What do you think could possibly have been the original reasoning behind eating eggs and drinking milk from cows?
Kinky sex.

4. What do you think is the most ridiculous professional sport in existence?
I know the default answer should be professional wrestling, but I wouldn't want to incur pix_kristin's wrath, so I'll have to say...poker.

5. Why won't you make me a sandwich?
Get back in the kitchen, woman. And why isn't my laundry done yet?

foresthouse quizzes:

1. Isn't Dylan Moran hott? Just kidding. I mean, he is, but that isn't my first question. Here it is: Who is your all-time favorite fictional character?
Gyeeeaaarrggh. I have no clue. I mean, "fictional character" spans the entire gamut of fiction, from theater to movies to books to television to even song. So I guess, here's a short list of sorts, where "favorite" can take on many meanings:

Claire, Generation X: Tales from an Accelerated Culture
Telemain, Dealing with Dragons
Phil Connors, Groundhog Day
Stevens, The Remains of the Day
Fox Mulder, The X-Files
Mercutio, Romeo and Juliet
Richard, Richard III
Angel, Buffy/Angel
Jaye Tyler, Wonderfalls
Emily Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
Matt Murdock/Daredevil, Daredevil (the comic, obviously)
Tommy the Canexican, "Tommy the Canexican" by Eddie from Ohio
Nick Andros, The Stand
Veronica Mars, Veronica Mars

This is actually a very interesting question, and that list is far from complete. I'll have to think about this some more and come up with reasons why a character is a favorite.

2. What pet would you most like to have, if you could choose from any animal, no matter how large, impractical, flesh-eating, etc. it may be?
Ever since I was a kid, I wanted a ferret. I was going to name it Caspian. But if we're going any animal, can I have a dragon? Cause, hello? DRAGON!! And I will name it Trogdor, of course. Or Kazul, if it's a girl.

3. Best movie line ever, what is the?
"It was great seeing Annie again and I realized what a terrific person she was and how much fun it was just knowing her and I thought of that old joke, you know, the, this, this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, 'Doc, uh, my brother's crazy, he thinks he's a chicken,' and uh, the doctor says, 'Well why don't you turn him in?' And the guy says, 'I would, but I need the eggs.' Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships. You know, they're totally irrational and crazy and absurd and, but uh, I guess we keep going through it...because...most of us need the eggs."

That was just the first one I really liked from the b.org quoteapalooza. You cannot ask me to pick the best movie line ever. I mean, Entertainment Weekly already tried. I love many lines, and I love many movies.

4. Do you prefer sunny days or a light drizzle?
Sunny days. They're bright. I know, I know, I'm so doom-and-gloom you'd think I'd prefer the drizzle, but no. Sunny days, sweepin' the clouds away. That's what I like.

5. If you had to live in a national park for a year, which one would you choose? And what would you want to do while there?
Uh...I'm not too familiar with national parks. I suppose I would go to Yellowstone, see Old Faithful, and get eaten by a bear.

metabeta pontificates:

1. Who do you think will win the Super Bowl next year?
The San Diego Crunchers.

2. What is your favorite painting?
OMG STOP WITH THE FAVORITES SHIT. I love Magritte, but for this question I have in mind a Renoir painting I saw in the Houston art museum. I can't seem to find the print online, but I think it comes from this series. I think it's that girl in blue in her own painting, and she's clear (or as clear as she can be in an Impressionist painting), but all the background is swirly. It's a lovely painting.

3. When will it all start to make sense?
2 days, 23 hrs, 15 mins, and 29 secs.

4. Where do you see yourself in six days?
Watching Sin City.

5. What are you - eleven?
Yes, pumpkin. I am eleven.

glasseseater hungers:

what is your favorite cereal?
Corn Chex.

do you have any foods you can not eat for ethical or religious reasons?
I don't eat any meat besides poultry for pseudoreligious reasons. I mean, it's not like I'm devoutly Hindu, so I could theoretically go and eat a burger, but I'm a creature of habit. And I stick to my guns.

do you have any foods you can not eat for gross out reasons?
Cauliflower is icky.

what is your favorite kind of cookie?
Chocolate chip.

what is the most hippie-like meal you've ever eaten?
I don't even know how to answer this question. I'm not too familiar with hippie cuisine. Does it have a lot of vegetables? Indian food has a lot of vegetables.
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: Orgy - The Obvious

(24 memoirs | Describe me as "inscrutable")


(Deleted comment)
Date:March 27th, 2005 03:45 am (UTC)
This is great. You really should do more of these. After you make me that fucking sandwich.
[User Picture]
Date:March 27th, 2005 03:46 am (UTC)
Thank you. Die, Boone, die! And thanks for the YSI link. I will check it out for sure.
[User Picture]
Date:March 27th, 2005 04:38 am (UTC)
I hate "Walkabout." Also, if Boone or Jin dies I will kill someone. I would happily dance on the grave of Jack, Kate, Shannon, or Sawyer, and I'm good with Charlie biting it even though he is a cutie pie, but Claire can't die because I want her to have a demon baby, and Michael and Walt can't die because Walt is already Michael's demon baby, and Hurley can't die because he's awesome, and Locke can't die because I want him to keep making Boone his bitch, and Boone can't die because he's so very cute as Locke's bitch, and Sun and Jin can't die because they are just too goddamn pretty.

(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
Date:March 27th, 2005 05:38 am (UTC)
Your questions were not lame! They were perfectly good questions designed to learn more about me.

Any class with "Violence" in the title is a winner.
[User Picture]
Date:March 27th, 2005 04:38 pm (UTC)
Thanks to you and Potbelly's, I am now CRAVING a sandwich that's a THOUSAND MILES AWAY FROM ME.
[User Picture]
Date:March 27th, 2005 06:13 pm (UTC)
Apparently you have no problem picking favorites when it comes to food.
[User Picture]
Date:March 27th, 2005 06:22 pm (UTC)
He he he. The cereal one is negotiable, but chocolate chip is the One True Cookie, despite the greatness of others. But you did notice I couldn't pick a favorite sandwich!
[User Picture]
Date:March 27th, 2005 10:17 pm (UTC)
1. dealing with dragons. I loved that series. Except of course I liked Cimerone because she was a strong feminist character... or something. Or the witch, because she had red hair and lots of cats, which definately would have appealed to me as a child.
2. Magritte is awesome. We have a magritte painting on our fridge right now.
3. Hippie cuisine- usually vegetarian, unless maybe you're eating free-range meat, "natural" or "organic" alternatives. For example granola with soymilk, or whole wheat pasta with organic tomato sauce, which are respectively Sean and I's hippie-est meals so far.
[User Picture]
Date:March 27th, 2005 10:20 pm (UTC)
Did I know you knew The Enchanted Forest Chronicles? Awesome!! You are even cooler than before. Morwen was great, too: "None of this nonsense, please." Cimorene was totally hot.

Which Magritte painting is on your fridge? I have an Empire of Light print for my wall that won't stay up cause it's so heavy, and I seem to have lost my Treachery of Images postcard-sized print. But I have your Renoir to replace it.
[User Picture]
Date:March 27th, 2005 10:36 pm (UTC)
Morwen! I totally blanked on her name. I didn't know you liked the Enchanted Forest Chronicles, so I doubt you knew I knew them.

La Condition Humaine is our fridge painting.
[User Picture]
Date:March 28th, 2005 12:13 am (UTC)
Heh. Your answers are awesome. I, too, like Magritte ever since I read Understanding Comics and saw the "Je ne pas un pipe." painting. It's interesting - the book talking about how, yes, it wasn't a pipe, it was a painting of a pipe. And then it went further; technically, it ink reproduction of a painting of a pipe. Shows how far away from reality we really are, huh?

Or maybe I'm just being pretentious.
[User Picture]
Date:March 28th, 2005 12:22 am (UTC)
"Ceci n'est pas une pipe." The Treachery of Images. My introduction to Magritte, back in Academic Decathlon.

He has this really cool quote, let me find it:

"An object is not so attached to its name that another cannot be found for it that suits it better."

It's part of this piece where he drew a leaf and labelled it "Le canon [gun]."
[User Picture]
Date:March 28th, 2005 12:27 am (UTC)
Heh. Two years of French and I wrote, "I am not a pipe." Well, I'm not.
[User Picture]
Date:March 28th, 2005 04:24 am (UTC)
*jumps onto comment thread*

This little conversation killed me.

P.S. I'm not a pipe either.
[User Picture]
Date:March 28th, 2005 04:23 am (UTC)
Dragons! Oooh!

But don't get a ferret. They smell. GET A CHINCHILLA, INSTEAD!

*manic grin*
[User Picture]
Date:March 28th, 2005 04:27 am (UTC)
Ooh, yeah! All the cool people have chinchillas! You, Strega...okay, so I have a data set of two.
[User Picture]
Date:March 28th, 2005 04:41 am (UTC)
My friend Mark has one too. He's pretty cool.

[User Picture]
Date:March 28th, 2005 03:54 pm (UTC)
hi :) reading this and your previous entries? yeah. so friending you.
feel free to reciprocate, but, i'm fucking boring. fair warning. *eg*
[User Picture]
Date:March 29th, 2005 02:24 am (UTC)
Yay! I found a TWoP friend on LJ! I'm such a huge, huge dork. But I love your TWoP posts, so I thought I'd friend you (I'm SpoiledHeathenPunk on the VM forums). Another yay for pseudoreligion! I'm thinking of converting to Hinduism, actually, but until then I just rewrite my own theology every time I read something awesome (I'm heavily influenced by Lao Tzu and Robert Pirsig).
[User Picture]
Date:March 29th, 2005 02:31 am (UTC)
Hey! Very cool. If you look in my info, you'll see some other familiar names. fishinginthemud is healing fish, and alliterator is...I think you know. idreamofpeace is here, and you should definitely check out ohimesamamama (Aes Sidhe). kieyra posts on TWoP occasionally as well. And there are probably more.

I'm not really sure what my theology is. I make it up as I go along too. I call myself a Hindu agnostic.

And your icon is very amusing.

Oh! Tell me when you're ready to try out the Dresden Dolls, and I'll post some YouSendIt links.
[User Picture]
Date:March 29th, 2005 02:53 am (UTC)
Oh, how could I forget nsfinch, a.k.a. nsf?!
[User Picture]
Date:April 7th, 2005 02:48 am (UTC)
Richard, Richard III

Did you see the Ian McKellen film adaptation?
[User Picture]
Date:April 7th, 2005 02:50 am (UTC)
Oh yeah, we watched it in my aforementioned (or belowmentioned) Shakespeare on Film class. Loved it.

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