I've never seemed to fit in. My mom fucked me up good, and I'm defensive and private because of it. I am naturally isolated from all of you, and, frankly, I think the damage you've done is irreparable. You've tried your best to reach out to me, but it's obviously not working. I am a lost cause. My personal life is heavily shielded, and as a result, I haven't even allowed you to get to know me. And I still can't. Look at how careful I have to be in describing my interactions with women in this journal in case, God forbid, one of you stumbles upon it and gets the wrong idea. Rather than deal with the constant questions and assumptions, I choose to withhold information, as it keeps my blood pressure lower.
The sooner you all realize I'm a disappointment and a fuck-up, the happier you will be. Stop expecting anything of me. I'm so sorry I led you on for over twenty years, making you think I was special.