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This Is My "I'd Rather Be Spelunking" Face - The Book of the Celestial Cow

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April 25th, 2006


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11:10 pm - This Is My "I'd Rather Be Spelunking" Face
So it looks like everyone hates The Da Vinci Code except the people who don't. And we should start a little club for us folks who hate The Shipping News.

This house has five TVs. Two of them don't get a clear UPN reception. Two of them were in use or in occupied rooms at the time. And the remaining one was about a foot wide. And in a room my uncle would walk into to ask me questions and stand in front of the TV. This may explain why I wasn't blown away by the episode, as Rob believed I would be. Or maybe because I was expecting more shocking answers rather than...more puzzling questions.

First of all...Veronica has chlamydia? The hell? I think the writers are taking the whole VD thing a little too literally. I'm not sure where they're going with us, but it could be priming for Duncan's return. "So, Duncan. How's the VENEREAL DISEASE treating you?"

That small bit of capslock was just to ease you into the next paragraph, which goes thusly:

DUDE DUDE DUDE FUCKING SHELLY POMROY IN THE HALLWAY RIGHT BEHIND VERONICA IN THE GREEN HER HAIR IS LONGER LOOK HOW CUTE SHE IS HI SHELLYYYYYYYYYY. (And Dick even hit on her offscreen at Alterna-Prom!)

Blah blah blah Wallace and Jackie blah blah SEX. That was slightly gratuitous. I mean, we didn't even get that much when Veronica and Duncan had sex (for which I know many of you are thankful), and that was actually important. Of course, now I recall all the Logan/Kendall scenes in their fleshitude, but that Wallace/Jackie scene didn't ever go anywhere. It was weird. And in exactly what "hard way" did Jackie learn the birds and bees?

Oh, ha. Now we know why Rob said they'd have a prom "of sorts."

The prom stuff was very nice, actually, and I wish I could have enjoyed it more. Instead, I waited in fear for my uncle to make some remark about this teen show I was watching, because to an outsider, that's what it would look like.

I had to keep myself from laughing during the Veronica/Madison scene. "Can you imagine what that would be like? ON THE LAM(B)?" That was awesome shit. And the Mac/Butters stuff was great as well.

Dick mentioned sorority girls. Is Dick seriously going to college? And is there any way in hell he got into fucking Hearst? Maybe he'll go to UT.

I love Mr. Wu and his dream of a "clerical hall," but, dude, it's fucking study hall. Let her do what she wants.

So, seriously, what the hell is up with Woody? He thinks Keith's his bitch, and then he plays him like a bitch. And Lucky's got some grudge against him. And that incorporation vote was kind of anticlimactic, huh? It's been brewing all season, and then...it loses, with little fanfare.

(Oh yeah, Leo! That was a nice surprise, and this must have been the "minor casting spoiler that apparently should not have been a surprise" people were talking about. Well, it WAS a surprise, so screw you. At least we know what he's up to.)

I missed where the hell Keith got the sketch of Aaron's cellmate. So he and Cliff did question that hooker way back when, or what? That of course cements the fact that the briefcase theft was indeed perpetrated by Aaron. I just used "of course" and "indeed" in the same sentence. I hope you people realize I don't intend for these posts to be exceedingly well written, just sprinkled with enough bon mots to keep you coming back for more.

Did Terrence explain why he randomly broke into Miss Dumass's house? Was he very suddenly consumed with the urge to keep his playoff-throwing secret from getting out? And who the hell leaked that to the press? There was a lot of press in this episode. Along with the return of Lloyd Blankenship. (Lloyd has two L's, Rick. Really, I can copy edit these things for you if you want.) What does it all mean?

I love Gia, by the way. I was honestly missing references to Pan High as of late, and she delivered. Plus, lunch lady bodybuilders? Hee. Maybe she means Doris! Or...whatever her real name was. I also liked her pretty realistic reaction to the article about her dad. Veronica may be a new friend, but she's loyal to her father. And how much do I love her slightly addled P.I. skillz?

Overall, I'm generally positive about the episode, but it felt like a whole lot of setup. I'm waiting for the payoff.

I think there was some stuff about Logan and Veronica, too.
Current Mood: blahblah
Current Music: Mike Doughty - I Hear the Bells [in my head]

(75 memoirs | Describe me as "inscrutable")

Comments:


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[User Picture]
From:tallisen
Date:April 26th, 2006 06:22 am (UTC)
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Hmm I'm still thinking Woody is a perv. Lucky was into sports. Was it baseball? 'Cuz I'm thinking he may have a thing against Woody if perse he got molested when he was younger. *shrug* I could be completely in the left field on this one, but it's just a vibe that's been hounding me.

I really wanna know why Meg's Pa would post bail on him too! XD

And LAMB! *rolls with laughter* "Can you imagine having police crawling all over you?" Veronica rocks.
[User Picture]
From:miss_katelynne
Date:April 26th, 2006 11:20 pm (UTC)
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In one of the screencaps of Lucky's janitorial closet you can see what looks like a baseball bat next to his letterman's jacket, so I think you are headed it the right direction there.
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From:thetheatremouse
Date:April 26th, 2006 06:22 am (UTC)
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I'm generally told I'm a prude once a day, so you provide a nice frame of reference that perhaps it wasn't just me thinking that the WallaceJackie semi-sex scene was gratuitous.

My favourite part was actually the two Madisons (or are they the two Macs?) exiting the elevator with simultaneous expressions, both facial and verbal. It really made me smile for no good reason. I've been thinking about their dual-selves recently.

(and I totally played "I Hear the Bells" in my iTunes a minute ago.)
[User Picture]
From:r_a_l_i_g_h
Date:April 26th, 2006 01:09 pm (UTC)
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I loved that part too!
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From:truemyth
Date:April 26th, 2006 06:49 am (UTC)
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And in exactly what "hard way" did Jackie learn the birds and bees?

I'm thinking she had the fun of watching her mother crawl all over rich older men.
[User Picture]
From:upanashad
Date:April 26th, 2006 06:56 am (UTC)
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You can watch the eps at my house if you are having a hard time at you uncle's (well, the one left before the finale). I'm boring but I have a huge tv and I don't stand in front of it. Oh, but I guess where you are staying is pretty far away and you don't have your car in Emeryville, so nevermind.

Nice recap!
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:April 26th, 2006 07:04 am (UTC)
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Actually, that would be great if I could make it work. That it's so far away is a wee bit problematic; the city is closer. I hit up harriettheelf once before, and I may hit her up again, or I may jump from house to house for the rest of eternity!

But really, we need to get some sort of Finale Con together.
From:mangopickle
Date:April 26th, 2006 07:27 am (UTC)
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I guess so far I'm in the vocal minority, but I loved the Wallace/Jackie stuff -- even the sex. It just seemed so...right...but at the same time, heartbreaking because we know her character will have no chance in being with Wallace. And I'm going to say this -- I really will miss Jackie since I feel the actress really grew and Jackie as a character has become so much more full-layered (I can understand where her need to be such a bitch comes from and her extreme defensiveness.)

I really want Gia to join the cast next season. VM will be great if there's a big cast overhaul and Gia and Mac are brought on (in very large capacities.)

I love love LOVE Mac. It's so weird seeing her as Lilly's best friend on HBO's "Big Love" cause each time I want to scream out, "You stupid '09er! You would never be BFF with Mac" and then I have to remember, "Woops, you have three moms and you're kind of a pariah..."
[User Picture]
From:waitaminute17
Date:April 26th, 2006 09:11 pm (UTC)
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I know I've said it before but I don't think Jackie will really be leaving and if she does leave I doubt it will be to Paris. If Jackie leaves I think it will be in a box. FYI - that is pure unspoiled speculation so if it turns out to happen don't freak out, it's just becuase I'm a genius.
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From:holly96
Date:April 26th, 2006 08:52 am (UTC)
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Great recap. I was spoiled on the Chlamydia stuff for this ep (I still have no idea where they're going with it), so I got over the shock of it awhile ago, but I pretty much agree with your reaction. It's like they're trying to give people more ammo to hate V/D retroactively, and there's not really any point. It's over. Or at least it should be. I'm assuming it will have a purpose, but it seems like a really strange writing decision.

I also agree with you on the Wallace/Jackie scene. I mean, we already knew they left for that purpose, did we really need to see that much of it? It just felt shoe-horned in, especially coming right on the heels of the intense Logan/Veronica conversation.

Did Terrence explain why he randomly broke into Miss Dumass's house?
He said she was writing a tell-all book about him, with all the gambling stuff and everything, and after she died he was afraid someone would find it.

Instead, I waited in fear for my uncle to make some remark about this teen show I was watching, because to an outsider, that's what it would look like.
I've totally been there. I've had to watch things at my parents house on occasion, and it's always awkward. Usually I end up taping things and then watching it after everyone's gone to bed. Like I said above, my place is always an option, too.



[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:April 26th, 2006 01:42 pm (UTC)
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Actually, that would be cool! A good excuse to meet you, since you're closer to me now than you normally would be. Do you watch GG? Because that would make it even better.
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From:idreamofpeace
Date:April 26th, 2006 09:14 am (UTC)
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Yeah, the whole chlamydia thing. How did the doctor even know to look for that? It is funny, however, since wasn't that the disease that Veronica had to tell her buddy she had when she was in Sex Ed in MMtF?

I kind of liked the Wallace/Jackie sex. Don't know why.

And I REALLY liked Gia tonight. I've not liked her nor Krysten Ritter's acting until tonight. I feel like I finally "get" Gia's character.
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From:loopychew
Date:April 28th, 2006 07:51 am (UTC)
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since wasn't that the disease that Veronica had to tell her buddy she had when she was in Sex Ed in MMtF?

I think it was actually NPBiaC:
"No, Gia, Chlamydia is not a flower."
"I saw it on my trellis!"
"Your trellis is a whore."
[User Picture]
From:maka2000
Date:April 26th, 2006 12:30 pm (UTC)
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I think there was some stuff about Logan and Veronica, too.
Oh me, my brain is fried from what warrants a footnote in your recap. Hee.

Gia was great this epi.
[User Picture]
From:eirefaerie
Date:April 26th, 2006 01:23 pm (UTC)
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Is Dick seriously going to college? And is there any way in hell he got into fucking Hearst? Maybe he'll go to UT.

Hey! What'd we ever do to you??? (Except be a far superior school, of course.)

I heart Gia. I was worried she was going to end up playing Veronica, but no. I was also worried that she was going to end up sleeping with Logan, but no, he went for Bimbo: Original Flavor. Oh, Logan.

My theory is that Woody leaked the thing about Terrence, although I'm not really sure why. Woody is totally in a shame spiral, and he will take down everyone in his path. I said this on TWoP, but I'll say it here, too: while I am totally all over Woody-the-creepy-child-molestor, I really didn't call him being such a horrid asshat. I mean, man! He totally sold out Keith (and probably Terrence)!! And the Mannings bailed out Lucky who hates Woody because Woody gave him the clap. Or something. Seriously, probably Lucky has the syph and that's why he's so MENTAL IN THE HEAD.

Who gave Duncan the clap?? I really don't want there to be a retread of ATttD, because, cha, I would hope that Veronica would have gotten tested after she'd been raped.

[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:April 26th, 2006 01:44 pm (UTC)
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Hey! What'd we ever do to you???

You did notice he was wearing a UT shirt, didn't you?
[User Picture]
From:mangofandango
Date:April 26th, 2006 01:44 pm (UTC)
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I think the Wallace/Jackie sex scene was setting us up for something...I just don't know what, exactly.
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From:jenelope
Date:April 26th, 2006 01:50 pm (UTC)
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I also thought that the teenaged soft porn went on a little too long, but I didn't mind because they're both so, so pretty. And because I loved Jackie's dress so much, and it provided me with ample opportunity to admire it as she rolled around, gradually removing it.

The Veronica/Logan aspect was heartbreaking. I don't usually get into the doomed romance stuff, but those two make it work for me.

I loved Veronica taking the champagne from Gia. It was a nice callback to the last onscreen party at Logan's place. Madison, will you ever give up that juvenile trick? Veronica's digs at Madison were awesome, if a bit of a departure. I honestly thought for a moment that she was doing her patented "must rescue girl from jackass" technique.

I think Woody's definitely a child molester. The question is, how many boys did he molest? I wondered about the Mannings bailing out Lucky, too. I suspect it's tied to the Manning's abuse of their own children.

And I think they're definitely going to go with Duncan cheating on Veronica with Kendall. I don't know why he would do it (other than the obvious reason that Charisma Carpenter is insanely hot). The timing seems odd, though, since symptoms usually show up in 1-3 weeks (according to the CDC). It's weird that they would throw something like that in at the beginning and then not really address it. It must be something significant that will be addressed later. An STD is not a spy pen, after all.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:April 26th, 2006 03:28 pm (UTC)
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I loved Veronica taking the champagne from Gia. It was a nice callback to the last onscreen party at Logan's place.

Oh, you're right! She actually explained the "trip to the dentist" thing to Gia last time, didn't she?

An STD is not a spy pen, after all.

Sure it is! This STD has a secret message we'll never find out.
[User Picture]
From:sabra_n
Date:April 26th, 2006 05:49 pm (UTC)
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On the one hand, it's nice to see Wallace having his own life, sex included, especially since Alicia seems to have disappeared. On the other hand...I just kept looking for a condom somewhere in the frame. Because this didn't feel like it was there for its own sake.

The chlamydia thing...well, I'm assuming it means something about Meg. Does this lead back to the "it's not Duncan's baby" theory?

Can you imagine being on the LAM? With COPS crawling ALL OVER YOU?

Hee.

-blue
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:April 26th, 2006 05:53 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, I didn't see a condom anywhere, but they were barely half-naked when we left, and Jackie knows all about the birds and bees, so I hope they were safe.
[User Picture]
From:gymble
Date:April 26th, 2006 05:49 pm (UTC)
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Veronica has chlamydia? The hell? I think the writers are taking the whole VD thing a little too literally. I'm not sure where they're going with us, but it could be priming for Duncan's return.
Yeah, this was the strangest part of the episode. I mean, this is either when Meg's character is retconned or Duncan really did do something with Kendall. After all of red herring misdirects on Duncan, I'm just tired of it. I don't see how this plot point can be resolved in a way that doesn't make me want to throw my TV.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:April 26th, 2006 05:55 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, I'm pretty unhappy with Meg's storyline this season. It's all being written when she's not even around, and it doesn't seem to fit at all with the Meg we saw onscreen last season. It feels disrespectful to the character, somehow.
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:April 26th, 2006 07:30 pm (UTC)
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THERE SHE IS!
[User Picture]
From:tamarai
Date:April 26th, 2006 08:10 pm (UTC)
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I'm glad you have some offers for better viewing arrangements, because, Dude? That sucks. This was an episode to be watched in silence, in the dark, with a remote at the ready for rewinding to decipher difficult-to-understand bits of dialogue. (Yes, Leo, I'm tawkin' to you. And no, I never did figure out that one thing you said.)

The word "spelunking" is never not funny. Thanks for using it in your recap title.
[User Picture]
From:tamarai
Date:April 26th, 2006 08:12 pm (UTC)
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Almost forgot: I hear the bells in my head all the time!

Oh wait, that's not what you meant...

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