harriettheelf and I had crepes. Mmm. This has been your obligatory text before the cut. God, did I miss my show. Thank fucking God it was a good episode. WHEEEEE. I mean, in the first sixty seconds, Corny gets tasered. Craziness! That's how you start an episode. Okay, before I get into the episode, let me explain the A plot. Because I promise you I had trouble getting it as well. The key is that the pizza muggings and the blackmail were not connected . It was either sheer coincidence, or, more likely, Kylie used the fact that Ryan's wallet was stolen to her advantage, knowing that the mugger would be the prime suspect. The mugger was just some dude trying to prove himself to the PCHers. Kylie was the blackmailer. She wanted money; that was her primary motivation. She had the money sent to a fake address, thus landing it in the dead letter bin. Because her mother worked at the post office, she could retrieve it. Her secondary motivation was to out both herself and her girlfriend so that they could be a real couple, despite her girlfriend's reluctance to come out. The last part makes her a horrid bitch, and she admits it. Kelly faked the mugging in order to get money from his rims (I missed some of the dialogue explaining this part, so I don't know whether it was insurance or replacement rims for him to sell). And that about covers it, I think. All right. Episode. You know, I don't really like Dick as much as many others do, but he was great tonight. Did you see his shirt? "There's a U in UGLY"? Ha. And his "rich dude Kryptonite" speech was a fun way of keeping Veronica estranged from the 09ers. Interesting parallel: Logan noting that he's just girl Kryptonite, period. Now that I think about it, the whole Kryptonite reference isn't really appropriate at all. Come on, Klemmer! Let's do Logan and Hannah. Logan has this random jackass line ("Excellent choice"), which is just so LOGAN, and then he has a secret tryst with Hannah, which, again, is just so LOGAN. The boy's devious, and his confrontation with Dr. Griffith was awesome. It at least made it clear that Logan very deliberately went after Hannah, and he's lying out his ass about not knowing who she was. Again, the show surprised me by tackling that the very next episode , just as I'd been surprised that Logan and Kendall were outed so quickly. Do the Fitzpatricks have just one phone? How does Tom call "Fitzpatricks"? And he has the River Stix in there too, interesting. You know the deliciously fucked-up thing about this Logan/Hannah thing? Logan is faking all the schmoopiness over this girl. But deep down, he likes it . Not that he has any real feelings for Hannah, but we saw how he was with Veronica. The boy digs the doting act. And I didn't see the resemblance in the last episode, but Hannah really does look like Veronica. I even mistook her for her at one point. I don't know what he's up to by the end of the episode, though. I can see him wanting to protect her from her dad, but he felt a little too...genuine. Very nice reveal for Veronica. Loved the "Hannah something," and we're like, "No! Dammit! Give her the last name!" and Mac adds the plastic surgeon bit, and Veronica totally figures it out right then and there. Awesome. Return to the A plot! I really liked following Veronica's investigation because she had to keep relying on other sources for information. She could put the pieces together, but she couldn't find the pieces herself. Corny talks funny. Kristin Cavallari does not have acting skillz. Honestly, Paris Hilton was better because she was basically playing herself, whereas Kristin kind of had a character that needed a little bit of subtlety because she was the villain . But instead, she just delivered all her lines as if she were sitting around on Laguna Beach chatting with her homegirls. Rob had spoiled us for Carmen's appearance in Austin , but I'd forgotten. It was cool to see her, but I felt she was wasted. Well, not wasted, really. More that Rob had been all, "She's coming back in episode 14!" so I thought she'd play some sort of role. But instead, she was there to add some local color, and I do appreciate the fact that this show takes great pains to keep its world very rich, with so many tertiary characters making return appearances. Couch Baron 's shout-out cracked my shit up entirely. Rob called John Ramos a coconut on national television. How awesome is that? KIZZNKUZNS is totally an Arrested Development shout-out. TOTALLY. This town loves duct-taping people to poles. "CONFESSION INSIDE." Hee hee hee hee. The funny thing is that I pegged Kelly as the mugger because he was using the oldest trick in the book: throw suspicion off yourself by making yourself a victim. And yet, I didn't notice that Kylie used that same trick. Although I did suspect Ryan, even though I really didn't think he'd do something like that. The Veronica/Mac conversation was so awkward and funny. "I'm just curious." And who knows what the hell was going on in Mac's mind at that time? Note: Peter Farrara. One more bus crash victim. Who was killed to save all the gays? Who knows?! (People have brought up the valid question, though: why doesn't Veronica know the names of everyone who died in the bus crash? Especially if she feels so guilty about all of their deaths?) Erm...C plot? Is the bus mystery a C plot? Nice little diversion (and ha to the O.J. reference), but I'm not going to be convinced that Terrence is behind the bus crash. I liked the pictures + lack of cell phone signal = not crazy suspicious part. The Keith/Veronica scene? Adorable. The Lamb scene was great. "That sounds like a lot of work" sums up so much of what Lamb is to me. He will take the easy way out, every time. I loved that Keith played the blackmail card, and I loved that Lamb was that fucking fearless and willing to call his bluff. Because he had a very valid point: Terrence is in a lose-lose situation. I think Lamb likes his $50K job more than he'll admit, but the man's got balls. And I fucking missed Michael slipping the finger through the censors, which he'd told us about in Austin. I completely missed the reason for Veronica and Jackie hanging out together. Where was she taking her? Why were they joyriding in an expensive car? I like their relationship, though. Now that they've both got bad reps, they have a special bond. They're not BFF, but they tolerate each other quite well. As we neared the end of the episode, I awaited the Incriminating Evidence Regarding the Bus Crash. And ooh, explosives material! In Woody's garage. That Terrence uses. Which implicates either one of them, although Terrence is on Keith and Veronica's minds at the moment. Although Keith should suspect Woody from Gia's testimony, which he has heard but Veronica has not. It was a good, solid episode, and it made me happy. So yay. I await the remaining episodes with anticipa...tion. In conclusion, the Fitzpatricks caused 9/11.