Polter-Cow (spectralbovine) wrote,

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The Phantom of the Oscars

So a bit o' Oscars commentary, because I know you're oh-so-eager to hear what I have to say.

Chris Rock, in general, did not rock. He was passable but not memorable.

Cate Blanchett looked amazing. Laura Linney looked like a spacebeast with that hair. And speaking of bad hair: Scarlett Johannson. Natalie Portman and Kate Winslet looked great. And speaking of Kate Winslet, I keep forgetting she's British. Her accent slew me.

Halle Berry looked good with the long hair and the nice dress.

Since Art Direction is one of the lesser categories, they have everyone already up on stage to save time honor all the nominees.

The Incredibles won Best Animated Feature, thank goodness. And Brad Bird was so nervous it was adorable.

The Best Makeup award was given in the fucking audience?!

Cate Blanchett has an Oscar! Woo! I should see The Aviator.

You know, I don't think I ever really saw any Johnny Carson. Damn, the man was good, wasn't he?

Sideways beat Million Dollar Baby for adapted screenplay! Good job, Token Indie Film!

Spider-Man 2 won something, woohoo!

Aw, Sidney Lumet thanked the movies. I liked that.

Emmy Rossum looked entirely lovely in red. And she rocked that introduction like nobody's business. No, seriously, I was a little taken aback by how nervous and fumbling these established actors were delivering their teleprompted words, and here comes this rising starlet who delivers her lines so flawlessly you think she might actually have, you know, rehearsed. Call me, Emmy! We have the same birthday!

Jeremy Irons: "I hope they missed." Ha!

Two things notable about the presentation for Best Live Short (besides the fact that they were out in the fucking audience again!): dude, there were Indian guys nominated! w00t! Represent! And then one guy had fallen asleep and woke up when he heard his name.

Ray won for something besides Jamie Foxx! Weird.

I watched a lot of the ceremony on the phone with dahliam. During the nominations for Best Documentary Short, I called Mighty Times: The Children's March because it was about children. And boo-yah!

Finding Neverland won something! I should see it.

Dude, The Motorcycle Diaries won Best Song! Wow! And Jorge Drexler totally should have sung his own song instead of Antonio Banderas. He has a lovely voice.

Hilary Swank won, of course (I was rooting for you, Kate!). I thought her speech was amusing.

Thank God Eternal Sunshine won screenplay, or I would have had to, I don't know, do something.

I liked Jamie Foxx's acceptance speech about his grandma who whupped him. It struck me as sincere without being schmaltzy.

Whoa, check out the cleavage on Julia Roberts! I should see Closer. Cause, Natalie.

Best Director...fucking Clint Eastwood? I've never seen a Clint Eastwood movie, and I'm going to be really disappointed when I get around to it, the way everyone goes on about him.

Blah blah blah Million Dollar Baby. Shut up with your stupid title and your stupid boxing and your stupid controversial plot twist!

The ceremony was unspectacular, and there were few surprises, but there were pretty people and shit, so it's all good.
Tags: girls, lj friends, movies, natalie portman, oscars, real life friends
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