1. Which are cooler: ninjas or pirates?
The correct answer, of course, is pirates.
2. If you adopted a sea lion, what would you name it?
Spuds Mackenzie: 15.2%
I don't believe in adoption: 2.4%
I don't believe in sea lions: 20.8%
While Reginald is a perfectly good name for a sea lion, the correct answer is the one that amuses me the most, which is I don't believe in sea lions.
3. What is your favorite curse word?
The correct answer is Fuck. The fourth one.
The correct answer was the funniest word in the bunch: Kielbasa.
5. What is the answer to this question?
Oh, people. I am very disappointed. 42 is the answer to the great question of Life, the Universe, and Everything. Thus, it could not possibly be the answer to this question. The answer to this question is, of course, Fuck.
Now, however, let's get to the answers to your questions. You asked some good questions, and I tried to provide some good answers. Thanks, everyone, for participating.
What SHOULD have happened with the fucking spy pen?
Best. Dropped plot point. Ever! I've actually made my peace with the fucking spy pen, really. Because I think it was at least clear that Weevil thought it was suspicious enough to steal before the cops found it, and the point of "Hot Dogs" was to cast suspicion on Weevil. The actual text of the letter is superfluous information. And since Lilly is sort of a non-issue this year, that Weevil's relationship with her was a little stalker-y isn't information Veronica needs to concern herself with.
Granted, we, the audience, did want to find out what was in that fucking spy pen. So, in about five minutes, I came up with a plausibly contrived scenario. The setup is in "M.A.D.," when Veronica leaves her car with Weevil to get it fixed. In this scene, she notices that Weevil keeps the pen in an inner pocket of his jacket. It seems like a very stupid thing to do, but I can't think of anything else right now. His rationale is that he wants to keep it on his person and therefore safe. Or, possibly, he put it in there after "Hot Dogs" and just forgot it was there.
The payoff is in "A Trip to the Dentist," when Veronica calls Weevil to pick her up after discovering the cameras. She explains to him about not being able to trust Logan or whatever, which leads to her not exactly being able to trust him either, what with the spy pen thing. She's clutching him on the ride home since they're on a motorcycle, and during the conversation, she totally filches the spy pen from his pocket. When she's dropped off, she waits for him to drive away, and then she opens up the pen and reads the message inside. VMVO gives us the "Did Weevil kill Lilly?" line. Then she's knocked on her ass again when she opens the door to find Lianne home.
This, then, sets up more conflict in "Leave It to Beaver" because she's not sure which suspicion to go on.
Aaaaand that's why I'm not a television writer.
allthelivesofme would like to browse my bookshelf:
What are some of your favorite novels?
Oh, let's see. My default favorite book is The Remains of the Day, which I've read three times, discovering something new each time. Out of the classics, I'll take Crime and Punishment and Watership Down. In more recent literature, I've loved Cryptonomicon and The Time Traveler's Wife, two books I didn't want to end (even though the former took me over three months to get through). We'll throw in Thief of Time for some Discworld representation, especially because it has one of my favorite ending lines ever. I'm sure I'm forgetting some...oh! Maybe it doesn't count because it's a memoir, but A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius blew my fucking mind.
babsonite lazy Sundays:
What would your perfect 24 hours consist of?
You know, this is a horrible question because it forces you to think of so many possibilities, but really, all I need out of twenty-four hours is hanging with friends and doing whatever we do. Walking around, watching television and/or movies, playing games, whatever.
xxxaimsxxx presents a dilemma:
If you had to give up either the television or the internet, which would you choose and why? Be descriptive!
Well, shit. It would be cheating, but if I gave up television, I could totally download my shows off the Internet! This is a very mean question, but even if you did consider that cheating, I would still have to keep the Internet, because it's what allows me to keep in touch with all you people! And steal lots of great music!
cerulgalactus hands me the keys to the kingdom:
You get to recast one role on V-Mars (at least semi-regular); who, why and with whom?
This was a tough question to answer because I think the show is exceedingly well-cast. Yes, yes, I know the obvious person to replace is Teddy Dunn, but I couldn't think of anyone who would service the character better. Instead, I'm going to pick on Max Greenfield and his marble mouth. I didn't dislike him, but he doesn't seem to own his character the way a lot of the other recurring actors do. So we'll replace him with, I don't know, Jensen Ackles. Because that would make a lot of women very happy.
How many licks DOES it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Lollipop?
Dirty! No, really, I was just going to answer "Three" and be done with it, but now I've got these...images in my head, and...next question!
stimpson does me the honour of asking a question:
What's your favourite fact about Australia you have stored away in your brain?
Okay, so I tried to think of some cool fact that would be a good answer to this question, and I kept coming back to "It used to be a penal colony." Fuck marsupials and aborigines; it used to be a penal colony! Where they fed the prisoners vegemite! Maybe.
holly96 Rand McNallys:
If you could live anywhere in the U.S., where would it be and why? What about the World?
If I had, like, a whole lot of money, I think it would be fun to live in the L.A. or NYC areas because that's where all the cool shit happens. No, not the earthquakes and bombings, I mean entertainment-wise. But there's also the part where big cities simultaneously frighten and fascinate me. As for the world...I guess London? Because they speak English?
What is your favourite thing about ME?
This question assumes I like you at all, buttons. Which, come on. I think my favourite thing about you is your steadfast hold to your beliefs and your passion for them. Or, should I say, your PASSION FOR THEM OMG.
quaint_shopgirl casts the first stone:
What actor would you want to play you in the movie of your life?
raelee calls shotgun:
You're on a roadtrip and the CD player is stuck on repeat. What song does it keep playing over and over again?
I'm not entirely sure what sort of this answer this question is looking for, but I'm going with "Chicago," by Sufjan Stevens. A) It's actually about a road trip, B) It's utterly lovely, and C) It's six minutes long and therefore will repeat at longer intervals.
aprilbegins wants to know:
When you were in grade school what did you want to grow up to be?
A garbage man. No, seriously. In fact, that's how I began my personal statement for grad school, with the fact that I wanted to be a garbage man. I mean...he took our garbage away! WHERE DID IT GO?! And he got to ride on that cool truck, except he got to hang on outside. It looked like a lot of fun.
the_partyman has a two-track mind:
Evang[e]line Lilly or Jennifer Garner?
Evangeline Lilly. Pretty much every time I watch Lost, I'm struck by how fucking hot she is. Not so with Alias.
Given the infinite nature of space-time and the finite amount of matter that we know to exist, and assuming that one's own consciousness is fundamentally bound by the limits of both one's natural genetic make-up and the cultural indoctrination undergone in the formative years, who is more likely to be elected Grand Poobah of the World in 2010: Kylie Minogue or Rasputin?
At first, I thought this was a trick question because of the two choices, only Kylie Minogue has the possibility of being alive in 2010. But! Rereading the question again, I came to the conclusion that Kylie Minogue is in fact Rasputin, and therefore the answer is, of course, Hitler.
star_holder simmers down:
Why do you watch so much TV?
Because I love stories. Television allows you to tell the long stories, to put your characters through many more trials and tribulations than you could fit in a movie, to watch them change. I love television because I am escapist, and for an hour a week, I can spend some time in a different world, where everything is funny or everything is mysterious or everything is full of vampires. And the escapism does not stop there, as I then proceed to escape to the Internet to discuss said story with my fellow escapists. I love television because it entertains me on a regular basis, and I need to be entertained. I love television because it's such a living beast, a story that is being written, that can take on a life of its own the way words on paper or images and sound committed to film can't. Back in the day, books were like this, you know? Serials, with rabid fans waiting at the dock for the next installment. It's always been about stories.
janedoe4 is trying to hire me:
What skill/talent/quality do you wish you had but don't (at least right now)? (Acceptable answers do include, "I'm perfect as is.")
Confidence/assertiveness. The ability to project that charismatic air of "I know what I'm doing, and you know I know what I'm doing, so let's get this done."
shizam23 sheepishly offers:
What IS your favourite random fact about Australia and why?
Dude. Don't think I'm coming up with another one just for you. Penal colony. Deal.
Does Johanna actually exist?
She does! I've seen a picture! And read her LiveJournal! What more proof do you need?
What was your first fandom (or first fandom-like relationship to a piece of media)?
I think that would have to be The X-Files. All my original screennames were Mulder###. I hung out in the AOL XF chat rooms and even made my first online friend. As far as online fandom as it's generally construed, VM is probably the first time I feel like I'm part of the specific designated community. I wasn't active in the right outlets during the heyday of the Jossverse.
What country would you most like to visit and why?
I've always had this silly desire to see Stonehenge, but I hear Italy is pretty cool with the art and old buildings and stuff. Maybe Greece or France. I don't know, but definitely somewhere in Europe. There's so much history.
silentsiren47 has made a huge mistake:
Who is your favorite character on Arrested Development?
So I feel like this is everyone's answer, but I think it's GOB. Not just because he's hilarious, but because I relate to his insecurity. And how many other television shows have a frickin' magician as a main character? Runners-up are George Michael, Maeby, and Michael.
nsfinch scratches an itch:
What are your thoughts on proper facial hair maintenance?
Shave. Trim. Don't look gross. The end.
wolfpilot06 is very specific:
What the fuck is that?
punzerel tastes the happy crack:
If you were the administrator of a British museum, and some hapless tourist tripped and shattered your priceless 17th century Chinese vases, what would you do? Would you secretly plot to murder him or just let him go and pretend to be happy he didn't get cut by flying shards?
Murder. Definitely murder. Then I would cut his arm off, stuff him, and post him next to the fragments of the vase with a sign reading: "And that's why you don't shatter my priceless 17th century Chinese vases!"
jeeperstseepers sexily growls:
Who is your favorite fictional animal character? Animals from books, tv shows, movies, etc are all in the running.
Damn, that's a hard one. I don't remember all my favorite fictional animal characters since I'm used to humans these days. There are books I read so long ago that could have contenders. Someone from Mesmeria? Narnia? The Enchanted Forest? Instead of picking one, I will just say that the soccer game in Bedknobs and Broomsticks is fucking awesome.
Astronauts or Cavemen - who would win in a fight?
Do the astronauts have weapons? Because laser guns pwn beaty sticks. But if it's just straight hand-to-hand combat, the cavemen and their animalistic brutality have the advantage. They have no sense of mercy or fairness.
(Finish the following joke) "Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, 'I guess you won't be needing a drink.' Naked lady says,_________________________."
warden96 Nada Surfs:
How did you become so popular over so many different facets of interaction? (TWoP, lj, etcetera)
I have no bloody clue. The only possible explanation I can think of is that I'm funny, and people like to laugh. I crack a lot of jokes. People have also said they enjoy my writing, so there's that. But I know many people who possess these attributes who aren't as popular as I am, and that's probably due to lack of exposure. Yeah, it's a mystery. I'm not nearly as popular in the real world.
Boxers or briefs?
Briefs, you PERV.
What would you have done with Meg this season?
Oh, poor dead Meg. How would I fix you? Let's see.
First, we kill the pregnancy, which eliminates the extreme bitchiness in NITW. Meg isn't on the bus. Veronica and Duncan, however, are still together because that was just a given once he found out they weren't related. We'll make Meg a little more understanding about it, although she still harbors some resentment and bitterness, as anyone would. But we're going to emphasize the fact that she's Veronica's friend.
I have no big plot ideas for Meg; rather, I think we can get a lot out of the character just based on her reactions to dealing with Veronica and Duncan together. Because in my view, Duncan and Meg had a pretty durn good relationship. It helped that she was more open with him than Veronica would be. As many pointed out, she represented the Veronica Duncan fell in love with initially. So I imagine some conflicted feelings for Duncan, especially when the three of them hang together. Meg would still be in love with Duncan, but she would still be a good friend to Veronica because that's just the kind of girl she is. Sure, she could falter; she's human. But there's all this interweaved tension that could have been capitalized on.
I want one episode where Veronica's really busy, and Meg and Mac solve a mystery together. Also, if we need the Manning abuse storyline for some other reason, Meg can actually enlist Duncan's help herself, and the two of them can bond, and Veronica can be jealous or something.
Duncan has to leave, so we can randomly set him up for Felix's murder or something, forcing Veronica and Meg to join forces to smuggle him out of the country. And then they can make out.
Aaaaand this is why I'm not a television writer, part two.
beeker121 Barbara Walters:
If you could interview any one living person, who would it be?
Alona Tal. If by "interview" you meant "make out with." If you meant "ask important and hard-hitting questions of," I have no fucking clue.
joslynm beeps me, for the apocalypse has come:
Aliens land on the planet and say they're going to blow it up in 24 hours. At the same time, Ed McMahon hands you a check for $10 million. How do you spend that last day?
Are you saying Ed McMahon is an alien? See, this is an interesting question because, really, would money even matter at this point? No one would care about past debts and such if the world were about to end. Also, would any sorts of services that cost money still function? You couldn't fly anywhere, could you? I suppose I would, as I said before, just hang out with friends. But since we have money, I could buy them ice cream!
mcfeste tries to get my words out:
You get to add a semi-regular character to Veronica Mars. Who is this character and who would you cast to play him or her?
Since Veronica needs more female friends and she's going to be at Hearst U next season, let's give her a female friend...played by Caroline Dhavernas! Because she needs work, and she's pretty, and she can act, and she's funny. Or she could be a hot young professor. Teaching a class about...tchotchkes.
violet4120 pushes the envelope:
Which do you like better concerning T&A? T or A?
Whew, an easy one. T. Definitely T. T give me cleavage, and A gives me...nothing. I only recently began to see the appeal of A, the visual benefit of added curves, but T are superior.
schnappycat eats the chocolate-covered envelope:
What is your favorite dessert?
That's a good question. Some of my first inclinations included a simple chocolate cake or brownie sundae, but then I remembered something I haven't had in years that I really love: key lime pie. I'm not really a huge dessert person, and I'm certainly not a connoisseur. But I like ice cream. Oh, you know what else is good? Melanie's family's zebra cake. It's like an Oreo transformed into cake. Chocolate-covered strawberries!
Yeah, I'm not good with "favorite" questions.
briasoleil drives home a point:
What band would you travel great distances for to see live?
This is a hard question to answer. Although the answer to "What band would you get capnnick to travel great distances for to see live?" is Our Lady Peace. And the answer to "What band would you convert a friend for to see live?" is Eddie from Ohio. And the answer to "What band would you get leowwaaa's dad to buy a ticket with his special American Express Gold or Platinum credit card for to see live?" is Incubus.
The answer to this question, however, seems to be System of a Down. I do not truthfully know that I would travel great distances, per se, because I feel like I would be very out of place at a System of a Down concert, but I love System of a Down a whole fucking hell of a lot. I love the music, I love the vocals, I love the crazy lyrics, I love it all. I love that there's such fucking passion in it. You can tell they put their whole fucking hearts into this shit. And to see that passion and energy live on stage would be so awesome.
porpentine thinks I am an open book:
Who's your favorite author, and why?
As I've said: Lorrie Moore. My creative writing teacher suggested her to me sophomore year (although she suggested, specifically, my least favorite collection), and I read Birds of America and fell in love. I admired her wit and love of bad puns, and I found her prose comforting, like a warm blanket. She was in tune with all facets of human existence, from the crippling depression of loneliness to the joyous beauty of living itself.
When Olena was a little girl, she had called them lie-berries—a fibbing fruit, a story store—and now she had a job in one.
Every third Monday, he conducted the monthly departmental meeting—aptly named, Agnes liked to joke, since she did indeed depart mental.
No one had toasted Abby and Bob at their little wedding, and that's what had been wrong, she believed now. No toast. There had been only thirty guests and they had simply eaten the ham canapes and gone home. How could a marriage go right? It wasn't that such ceremonies were important in and of themselves. They were nothing. They were zeroes. But they were zeroes as placeholders; they held numbers and equations intact. And once you underwent them, you could move on, know the empty power of their blessing, and not spend time missing them.
And yet wasn't reality always cheesy and unreliable just like that; wasn't fate literal in exactly that way? He thinks of the severed, crossed fingers found perfectly survived in the wreckage of a local plane crash last year. Such fate was contrary and dense, like a dumb secretary, failing to understand the overall gestalt and desire of the wish. He prefers a deeper, cleverer, even tardy fate, like that of a girl he knew once in law school who, years before, had been raped, shot, and left for dead but then had crawled ten hours out of the woods to the highway with a .22 bullet in her head and flagged a car. That's when you knew that life was making something up to you, that the narrative was apologizing. That's when you knew God had glanced up from his knitting, perhaps even risen from his freaking wicker rocker, and staggered at last to the window to look.
It must be, Ruth thought, that she was going to die in the spring. She felt such inexplicable desolation then, such sludge in the heart, felt the season's mockery, all that chartreuse humidity in her throat like a gag. How else to explain such a feeling? She could almost burst—could one burst with joylessness?
Staring out through the windshield, off into the horizon, Abby began to think that all the beauty and ugliness and turbulence one found scattered through nature, one could also find in people themselves, all collected there, all together in a single place. No matter what terror or loveliness the earth could produce—winds, seas—a person could produce the same, lived with the same, lived with all that mixed-up nature swirling inside, every bit. There was nothing as complex in the world—no flower or stone—as a single hello from a human being.
And, finally, one of my favorite passages of all time:
They haven't had a thing to say about it, these ducks, thinks Mack, haven't done a thing to deserve it, but there they are, God's lilies, year-round in a giant hotel, someone caring for them the rest of their lives. All the other birds of the world—the mange-hollowed hawks, the lordless hens, the dumb clucks—will live punishing, unblessed lives, winging it north, south, here, there, searching for a place of rest. But not these. Not these rich, lucky ducks! graced with rug and stairs, upstairs and down, roof to pool to penthouse, always steered, guided, welcomed toward those golden elevator doors like a heaven's mouth, and though it isn't really a heaven's mouth, it is maybe the lip of all there is.
Mack sighs. Why must he always take the measure of his own stupid suffering? Why must he always look around and compare his own against others'?
Because God wants people to.
Even if you're comparing yourself to ducks?
Especially if you're comparing yourself to ducks.
That is why I love Lorrie Moore.
zimshan freaks out:
Why the hell did you want to get a Ph.D in pharmacology if you didn't like labs?
Well, I didn't not like labs. I liked them well enough. I just didn't love them. Doing experiments did give me a sense of accomplishment, but I learned I didn't have that fire. It still felt like work, not a calling.
upanashad delves deep into my psyche:
Are you left-handed or right-handed?
Right-handed. Wow, that was easy.
Is the first question from playing Pirate Ninja Cowboy?
No. Damn, I could get used to this.
mangopickle busts out with a tough one:
Why don't you hang out at Melanie's more?
Because I hate her. I mean, we're both busy and tired all the time. And I'm too lazy to walk over there.
If Mares eat oats and does eat oats do little Polter-Cows eat Ivy?
Uh. Um. Are you okay?
On a scale of one to ten, how in love with me are you? Like, with one being "barely concealed hatred" and ten being "willing to quit your job in order to devote yourself more fully to my happiness."
7.43. Of course, the decimal portion of that is completely arbitrary. As is the integral portion. Just like my love for you.
harper47 dramatically questions:
Have you ever acted in a play or musical and, if so, what was it and what role did you play?
Oh man, have I? I got bitten by the theater bug at Rice when I ran sound for Burn This my first semester. That December, I auditioned for Goodnight Desdemona (Good Morning Juliet) even though I'd never acted before. I had friends involved in the production, which may have aided my being cast. I was initially cast as the actor with six or seven different roles (there are six actors, and only the main character, Constance, remains...constant), but when another actor dropped out, I was upgraded to Othello/Tybalt/Professor Night. I had a very good time, and I was described as "purposefully flat (I hope)" in the review. The next year the theater bug was supplanted with the Gilbert and Sullivan bug, as barilosopher wrote and directed Butter Battle. He cast me as Dr. Zook but also made me sing for the first time, in the chorus. I would also sing in the chorus for The Mikado and Iolanthe. Other non-singing roles included a character in a ten-minute play (my acting was described as "weak" in the review), a cameo appearance in another ten-minute play, and Dr. Jason Posner in Wit (my character was not even mentioned in the review). Despite the fact that I am apparently not very good at it, I loved it all.
redflora doth protest too much, methinks:
Favorite work by Shakespeare (details and why) and least favorite (ditto)? And how would you incorporate Prince or Madonna into a production of either?
It's a very close tie between King Lear and Richard III. The former because it has so many freaking characters and nearly every single one of them gets an arc. It's so complex. The latter because we spent five weeks on it in my Shakespeare on Film class, which really made me appreciate it more than I probably would have. I love the character of Richard. As for least favorite, I'd have to go with Henry V and The Tempest, which I think are overrated. I don't see the big deal about either of them. Prince would make a good Fool, and Madonna could play Miranda. Right? Maybe.
fmith wants me to make up my mind:
What is your favorite Eric moment from Undeclared?
Ha. How to choose? I'll go with the Steven/Eric fight because it went a great way toward humanizing Eric, making him a little more sympathetic than the psychotic jealous boyfriend.
"Are you p[o]ndering what I'm pondering?"
I think so, Daniel, but don't you think Kristen would notice the chocolate syrup?
iphi1 Death Is Not an Options:
Joss Whedon or Rob Thomas? Why?
Damn. Rob, because he likes me and Joss doesn't know me from a hole in the ground? I don't think it's a fair question, really, since I've got twelve-and-a-half seasons of television with which to judge Joss, and a little over two with which to judge Rob. Plus, they're rather different. Joss goes more for emotions and has said he doesn't care so much about plot, whereas Rob is all about plot, with the planning everything out and all. Joss is much better at killing people. He knows how to hurt you. I don't think Rob knows how to hurt us yet. Plus, they work in totally different genres with their own rules and regulations. Rob has YA lit cred. Joss is probably closer to my sense of humor, personally, the way he acts in interviews and blog posts and such, whereas Rob seems more like the straight man. But Rob plays video games. I don't know. I don't think they're comparable, and I refuse to choose. So there!
gymble gives an ultimatum:
What's your favorite TV episode ever and why?
Oh, shut up. That's not a question I can just answer. It would take pages and pages to suss that out. And this is long enough already, so I'm just going with "Hush" because I love it so. Television is a visual medium, and Joss took away one of his greatest strengths and used what he had left to their fullest advantages.
dahliam produces the question:
When are you ever going to make it out to LA?
Well, if I get this job, sooner than you think! If not...who knows? Flying to California is expensive. Existing in California is expensive. But I do want to see you. And let you get lost. We can go get some key lime pie.
toughcookie42 is so not my BFF:
As well as I know you, I don't know your siblings' names. wtf.
I have a brother, 19, who's a freshman in college. His name is Kiran. I have a sister, 15, who's a freshman in high school. Her name is Jigna.
waitaminute17 wraps things up:
Do you really have an expiration date? And if I may, a follow up: If our paths do cross in RL before said expiration date and I make out with you will you be a) pleased b) amused c) repulsed or d) a little of each.
Yes, I expire at age 25. After age 25, no woman will want to marry me. Thus, the hunt for my wife is on. As for the follow up, probably a combination of a and b, but as this is a public post that could fall into the wrong familial hands, I have to give you the company line, which is: "Get away from me, Caucasian she-devil!"
Whew. Finally, we get to the all-important question: who did the tribunal of radioactive monkeys choose? Who had the best random fact?
It's a tie! Yes, they could not choose between flying_peanuts:
Random fact about myself...uhm...when I was little, I threw myself out of a moving car to see whether I could escape (in case of abduction). I probably gave my dad a heart attack. Heh.
Oh, and I need to post a random fact about myself? There's a lot of crap to share. But you're new, so we'll start off with my basic factoid, which is that I was born with 12 fingers, 12 toes and partially webbed feet.
April even posted pictorial proof!
Therefore, both of you are eligible to ask me to write a post on the subject of your choosing. Please don't make it too hard.
AND THUS THE WHIRLIGIG OF TIME BRINGS IN HIS REVENGES!