What the hell was that? Because it sure as hell wasn't Battlestar Galactica.
First of all, we just had the "48 hours earlier" thing TWO WEEKS AGO. THIS IS NOT FUCKING ALIAS. Sometimes they went three whole weeks without doing it! Maybe, I never kept count.
Then there's all this confusing and boring talk about trade. THIS IS NOT FUCKING STAR WARS - EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE.
Then Fisk was unexpectedly murdered. THIS IS NOT FUCK—wait, I actually liked that part. It surprised me, and one of the things I like about BSG is they kill people off like that. Unless they're played by Mary McDonnell, because you just don't do that.
Oh! I forgot the part where APOLLO IS NOW RANDOMLY HAVING SOME SORT OF FISCALLY SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH A HOOKER AND HER CHILD OKAY NOT SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH HER CHILD YOU PERVS. Also, why didn't they get Morena Baccarin? That would have been awesome. Oh right because she's not blonde and Apollo has always been in love with blondes because of some random chick we've never heard about on Caprica who is actually pretty hot so I can't blame him but she's blonde JUST LIKE STARBUCK OMG.
And then there's this annoying murder "investigation," like Apollo is magically Hercule fucking Poirot now, and I know Strega wanted to see some stories about civilian life, but it turns out stories about civilian life...suck. And...Zarek served no purpose at all; thank you, Richard Hatch, for stopping by on your lunch break. No, wait, he gave some big long speech about there not being a utopian fantasy except I wasn't paying attention by that point. Also, I kind of liked Phelan, and he should have lived to be large and menacing another day.
There was an entire episode about this black market we'd never heard of before. A black market, which, according to Roslin, is "illegal." OF COURSE IT'S FUCKING ILLEGAL. THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT THE GODSDAMN BLACK MARKET AND NOT "MOM AND POP'S EXTREMELY LEGAL GROCERY STORE."
WHERE IS MY SHOW ABOUT SPACESHIPS AND KILLER ROBOTS?
Oh, also: APOLLO/DUALLA MAKES NO SENSE. STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.
There was some good. I loved all the Baltar/Six scenes because I love Baltar/Six. I love the way she's pretty much a part of him; he can hardly make a decision without her advice. And how great is it that he only wants to be Vice President because Roslin doesn't want him to be ahahahaha?
Also, I like the relationship between Apollo and Adama.
And Cottle smoking during the autopsy was GOLD.
Oh yeah: SOMEBODY GIVE THE EDITOR SOME VALIUM.
I called Jacob after the episode:
Me: "Yeah, hey."
Jacob: "I'm at a party."
Me: "Aha, so I guess you didn't see the episode."
Jacob: "No, I didn't. Was it awesome?"
Jacob: "That's what I was afraid of."