So, now we have come to the end. After four seasons of Farscape, we come to the final hurrah, The Peacekeeper Wars.
I think it's cute that they have previouslies, as if anyone but Farscape fans is going to watch and/or comprehend the miniseries.
I'm going to have to note that I was really, really tired when I started watching. I've been working from nine to twelve hours a day this week, and it finally caught up to me. I couldn't even stay awake for the entire first hour, so I gave up. I don't think the first hour was objectively that good anyway, so it was all right. I had to adjust to things.
Rygel can swim! Aw. Eating John and Aeryn and vomiting them up. How cute. And Noranti...tasting them, eww. I wonder what would happen if Rygel missed a piece. I hope it was John's appendix. And so they bring John and Aeryn back magically, and all is well. And...what's with John? Where'd the crazy go? He's all sunshine and flowers and babies and marriage and it's very weird. And Chiana has new eyes (and, I think, new hair, because she looks different) that give her fun X-ray vision because this is Chiana's new thing, having weird eye powers?
Meanwhile, Scorpius is blowing up Scarrans because, hey, why not, and hm, I know that voice and WTF IS THAT SIKOZU?! WHAT THE FRELL DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR?!?!?! YOU ARE SIKOZU BEYOND THUNDERDOME. Oh, woe. You used to be hot, now you are not. And I suddenly like you less, which could be a sign my fondness for you was largely shallow. But then there's also the part where you somehow turn out to be a Scarran spy, and I don't know what to make of you anymore. I liked your Anya-esque logical sensibilities, though. And your nifty wall-walking powers. And your magic fireballs or whatever. The writers missed a great opportunity with Sikozu, however: they should have had her handcuffed to something so she could cut off her hand to get free, knowing she could just reattach it.
So the Scarrans declare war, and, like, I knew it had to happen, but it still feels really soon. Hell, they were this close to working things out a few episodes ago. And hey! There's only one war in this thing! The title LIES. Unless it's using "war" as a verb and referring to one specific Peacekeeper. Probably Grayza. AND WHY THE FRELL IS SHE PREGNANT? Just so she can THINK OF THE CHILDREN at the end? Why is there a tattoo on her belly? Who designed her outfit? WAIT WHY IS SHE EVEN STILL IN COMMAND? I thought Braca relieved her of duty. WHY AREN'T YOU IN THE BRIG?
The completely ridiculous contrivance that Rygel managed to keep only the baby's crystals in his stomach is both contrived and completely ridiculous, but it's kind of amusing, so I'll go with it. Also, of course, the new information that the baby's going to be born in a few days. Sebacean gestation makes no sense.
The "Fuck off" to Harvey was pretty awesome.
Finally, the narrative proper kicks into gear by revisiting that crappy planet from last season that was never mentioned again but was just waiting to be the recipient of yet another fanboy cry of "Continuity!"
Oh, and then there's this random scene about Hyneria, and while I thought it was supposed to be pertinent to Rygel, it turns out only to concern D'Argo and Chiana. But I guess it's nice for Rygel to know these things, and it's also weird from a political standpoint. Like, simply because Rygel is the sixteenth descendant of whoever, the people will listen to him when they won't listen to anyone else? Yes, I know that's how monarchies work, but...that's why monarchies are weird.
Then there's a random Tregan attack, and it turns out that it's pretty cool if you're not falling asleep. Chiana and Sikozu have this sweet two-girl acrobatic attack thing going. From a plot standpoint, however, this whole attack is completely pointless. Well, I guess it gets harpoon holes in Moya for later. Still, it feels like an exciting diversion for the sake of an exciting diversion.
Back to Arnessk. And Jool...doesn't suck. Huh. Stark sucks a little less too. And there's all this talk about peace and Eidolons and The Wizard of Oz, and I decided to sleep for ten hours before attempting to continue.
And now things are really happening. Scarrans are here! And...shit, they blew up Jool. Just when I was starting to like her. And holy crap, he ripped out Scorpius's coolant system! I always wondered how vulnerable that thing was. And damn, look at that, the baby totally became a bargaining chip. Except it's in Rygel. Hee hee hee.
I really liked the explanation of the origin of the Peacekeepers, especially that back in the day, the name wasn't such a misnomer. And I wish we'd gotten a little more of Aeryn's thoughts about the fact that her race was basically created by the Eidolons. In a sense, they're her gods.
Return to Einstein! Ballsy move, Crichton, considering you barely made it out of there in one piece last time. But that was a nice confrontation between Staleek and Einstein ("Eye-en-stine"). Staleek is such a simple bloke.
Back on the Scarran ship...ack, no! They blew up D'Argo's pet spaceship! Blew it to shiny little pieces! And...they wouldn't really just kill D'Argo and Chiana like that, would they? Sure, it's the end, but that's kind of an ignoble way to go. Maybe Jool deserves that kind of treatment, but not them!
They're still alive! And...they're rescued! By Jothee! Who also doesn't suck anymore. Hell, I actually kind of like him. He's a good boy now.
The magic purple peace ray is working! Look at Staleek sounding all diplomatic! This is a great plan! Until the dude gets his face fried off. Oops. Damn you, power struggles! Also, the way they all forced Stark to absorb Yondaleo's purple peace powers was kind of disturbing.
"You've ruined my life." Aww. That's sweet. Though I must say, this pseudo framing device with all the dialogue from the future is not doing it for me. It goes past ineffective and into the realm of distracting and confusing.
The second half starts out with a bang, and there's lots of fighting and shooting, whee! I see a familiar shot that will be paired with a familiar line of dialogue later on.
Oh! I forgot to mention that Pilot looks different. And he also sounds very different. And debetesse informed me that Pilot is voiced by Lani Tupu, which, holy crap, I never would have guessed. I'd caught the "Lani" in the credits at points, and she'd mentioned "Lani" before, and I always thought it was weird to have two people named Lani on the show. Maybe he'd been out of practice for too long, because he didn't really nail Pilot's voice.
It's always fun when Moya takes matters into her own hands. She just wanted to go for a swim, guys. Come on.
All this battle shit on the water planet is really good. And speaking of water...broken water! Really, why must characters go into labor at the worst possible times? First Moya, now Aeryn.
Love that Aeryn keeps on shooting. "Shooting makes me feel better." Hee hee hee. And now I fully appreciate that sweetass Aeryn icon that I thought _jems_ had made, but if she did, she's not using it currently. It's good to have the badass Aeryn back after she was so mopey last season. She didn't shoot nearly enough people before. Also loved the continual jibes against Crichton and human physiology. And slapping Stark, because Stark always deserves a good slap.
The desire to get married is a little comical, but it also seems horrendously pointless because we have no concept of the alien marriage customs. How can this mean anything? What is the bare bones ritual? It doesn't make any sense, but I guess I'll go with it for adding the phrase "Delvian puberty rite" to my lexicon.
It's a boy!
Ack, D'Argo! No! I mean, I thought maybe someone would die because it was the end and they like killing people at the end because why not, but...boo! He was going to have a happy life on Hyneria FARMING, dammit. Was that too much to ask? Wouldn't having to live on a planet full of helium-farting Hynerians be punishment enough to counter the reward? At least he died like a warrior, and his last words got to be "I'm your daddy!" As I said before, one of my favorite things about the show was the evolution of the friendship between D'Argo and Crichton.
Then, back on Moya, we have a totally awesome climax, the moment basically the entire show has been building up to: the frelling wormhole weapon. There's a nice subtle callback with Aeryn changing Pilot's mind the way Rygel changed his mind in "Bad Timing." Here's my crazy Crichton. He's come such a long, long way from when we first met him. He was such a dork back then. He's still kind of a dork now, but he's a badass who gives his gun a girl's name (how very serial killer of him). And he's had half the galaxy chasing after him for knowledge in his head he didn't ask for. It's kind of tragic, in a way. He's been maneuvered into these situations where he's basically forced to make these horrible, horrible decisions and accept the consequences. I love the scene where he basically just cracks and starts yelling at everyone, like: "THIS IS WHAT YOU FUCKING WANTED. NOW I AM GIVING IT TO YOU. EVERYONE LEAVE ME THE FUCKING FUCK ALONE NOW."
And hell, I didn't even know if he'd let the thing swallow up Staleek and Grayza. I figured he was going to have them Starburst out of there and leave both warring races to their fates. Because it didn't look like the kind of thing you could just shut off. Unless you're Einstein, of course, and it wasn't clear to me whether he removed only the wormhole weapon knowledge or all the wormhole knowledge the Ancients gave him, period. I'm not sure which would make John happier, because I think he'd still like to be able to navigate wormholes, except would people keep chasing him for just that, too, now that they know the whole wormhole weapon deal is a bad idea? They know he can't create them out of thin space.
Time for denouements. Peace, for now. Stark doesn't have magic light anymore for some reason. Jothee is totally figuring out how long he has to wait before he can hit on Chiana again. Harvey dies in a cute Kubrick homage. John and Aeryn predictably name their kid D'Argo, and aw, it's over.
It's...over. They got to tie up their loose ends, and they leave it to us to imagine what a human/Sebacean hybrid will turn out like. Maybe he'll end up dating Grayza's kid. But eww. Also, who's supposed to be the father of Grayza's kid? She's slept with half the fleet. Damn that boob juice.
Anyway: the miniseries was good stuff, for the most part. A very good piece of sci-fi, this Farscape business. I can talk about all kinds of things now, if prompted. But this post is long enough already.
Now that I'm done, though: is there some sort of dictionary/glossary for all the alien words? And where can I find some drad icons? And what are the best fanvids?
So long, and thanks for all the crackers.