Polter-Cow (spectralbovine) wrote,

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Alias Recap Things

So I'd recapped the last two Alias episodes for a Buffista, and I figured I might as well post them here because this is where I keep my fannish stuff, ay? And maybe people will laugh. They should be useful if you missed the episodes, in any case.


I won't even bother recapping the main plot, because nothing really happens. Syd gets infected with some hallucinogenic drug and freaks out at everything and thinks everyone's going to betray her (Sloane, Jack, Vaughn, the imaginary spider). What is interesting, however, is Dixon telling Sloane it would be a "tactical error" to send Syd out into the field after being all sick (she got bitten by a secret agent taking the drug). Cause then Sloane totally bans his ass for criticizing him in front of the others instead of taking it to e-mail. Okay, not really. But he does tell Dixon he worked for years at SD-6 without knowing it was evil, so STFU and do your job, bitch. Then, after the mission is successful, Dixon comes back and hands Sloane his motherfucking ass on a plate, except it's really not much worse than any of the names Syd has called Sloane. Dixon plays his Professor X card with an, "I'll be there when you show yourself for who you really are," and Magneto's all, "Damn, I better kill him 'fore he steps wise." The end.


So the theme of this week's episode is SYDNEY FUCKING HATES SLOANE. Cause she comes home to find Sloane chatting with Nadia, and she's all get outta my house you evil bastard OMG I must wipe everything he touched. The MacGuffin this week is a new explosive called Black Taurine, or however they spell it.

The first op is to get the intel, so the gang goes to some hotel to copy the dude's computer and PDA to find out who's buying the boom-boom. Nadia is really hot in a maid outfit, and she vacuums to drown out the sound of Syd drilling a hole through the wall so they can slip in the fiber optic camera. But oh snap the dude gets up and starts watching a soccer game, cause he owns one of the teams. I forget why this fudges up the plan, and what they actually intended to do. I think they thought he was going to leave the room, but in fact, he is going to be there all night. But oh snap part two cause Nadia and Syd are a pair of Sherlocks and deduce that the dude's got a chick he's ditching for a soccer game, so they just have to find her and get her to let her in. Sloane is all no way they'll recognize Nadia as the maid, and Nadia is like shut up dad no one looks at the help. Syd and Nadia look hot in their getups. Nadia finds the dude's chick by smelling for the crappy perfume she saw in the room, and they all get drunk together. They crash the room, and Nadia and Syd totally work it, pickpocketing PDAs and copying computers. Nadia even knows soccer trivia to distract the dude with. And Weiss is ubercute as he fanboys over Nadia's slick spy skillz and wonders to Vaughn if it'd be weird if they were dating sisters. The plan almost goes to shit as Nadia can't get the PDA back in the dude's pocket in time, but then she covers before they die.

Back at the APO, Sloane is all you will respect my authoritah! And Syd starts in on the same speech Dixon gave last week. Anyway, Marshall uses his mad computer skillz and discovers the deal's going down in sixteen hours, so they need to move quickly. Sloane sends Vaughn and Dixon, and then Jack is all bitch send the womens, fool. So he does.

The deal is on a boat, and Syd and Nadia are hot in low-cut wetsuits. Nadia breaks into a safe, and Syd uses a gizmo to get the secret keycard combination to break into the safe inside the safe, which has a whole lot more boom-boom than they expected. Meanwhile, though, Sloane has recognized the buyer as one of his old buddies from his evil days. And the buyer tells the dude he's planning on taking over the dude's operation, so w00t w00t doublecross cause it turns out the dude's chick was in on it too and then everyone's shooting at each other and dying, and Nadia and Syd are hiding. They jump ship, and the dude gets shot the fuck off the boat by his chick. Sloane comes up with a plan and he's all ha ha Syd you have to trust me isn't that ironic. His plan is to make a deal with the buyer to tell him where the lab that makes the boom-boom is. Sloane feeds Syd all these lines about how evil he is, and what he would do to the buyer if he didn't comply, and Syd is way uncomfortable. Finally, the buyer gives in and the dude's chick is like WTF and shoots him in the head. No, really.

So then the dude's chick and Syd fight, and Nadia goes and grabs the rest of the boom-boom and kills some people, and then she comes back just in time to save Syd from getting shot, and then Syd kills the dude's chick. The sisters have a tender moment where Nadia talks about how she thought she was a better spy cause she could be alone but now she thinks she was wrong. Syd and Nadia are hot, and is it wrong that I want them to make out?

Finally, at the end, Sloane tells Syd he's called in to have her transferred, since he figured she'd never work with him again, and then Syd goes even more Dixon on him, and is like I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU YOU EVIL EVIL MOTHERFUCKER SEE YOU TOMORROW OKAY BYE. Sloane smiles a little cause Syd is staying but then he goes home and cries himself to sleep. The end. That last part did not actually happen, by the way.

Oh, and somewhere in there Weiss does a card trick for Nadia and it's the cutest thing ever.
Tags: alias, recap, tv
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