Polter-Cow (spectralbovine) wrote,

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Comic-Con 2012: The Totally Abridged Edition

I feel pretty confident that I will never write epic posts about Comic-Con (in fact, I will probably never write epic posts again, sadly), so this will have to suffice until the Facebook albums go up.

I totally ran into a woman I ride the Emery-Go-Round with, and I totally got a free cab ride out of it since she was going to Comic-Con for business. I totally ran into my co-worker in the line for badges but then never saw her again. I totally ran into Conan and Jenny while looking for the Exhibit Hall line but then never saw them again. I totally circumnavigated the entire floor only to discover I had been in the right line to begin with fifteen minutes ago. I totally coveted the new color edition of Scott Pilgrim. I totally bought both Hark! A Vagrant calendars and the convention-exclusive-cover Chew: Secret Agent Poyo one-shot. Scott Allie totally asked me who I was with. Christina Strain totally gave me a mango Starburst, and I totally bought some cute miniprints from her. She totally signed the first baby trade of Runaways, which she totally didn't even color. I totally discovered that Javier Grillo-Marxuach's father is on the executive board of the company I work for. Pris and I totally copy-edited Ramiel #4. I totally had frozen yogurt with Mark Does Stuff folk.

I totally said hi to Jackson Lanzing in his House Greyjoy shirt and explored David Server's identity crisis. I totally got another Scott Pilgrim book signed by Bryan Lee O'Malley. Pris totally saved me a seat in the Racebending panel. Javi totally beat a ship metaphor to death, N.K. Jemisin was totally funny and made me want to read her books, Sarah Kuhn totally teased us with the promise of a book about Asian teen superheroes, and Marjorie Liu totally teased us with the Black Widow/Elektra/X-23/Mystique book that Marvel said wouldn't sell. I totally ran into mycenae without even trying, as usual. Pris was totally dressed as comic Wendy Watson, and I totally realized later that I had taken a picture of her as such three years ago. I totally walked down to the floor with members of the panel and Amber Benson, plus an unexpected Scott Westerfeld, and we totally passed Mark Hamill. The line for 6A was totally crazy because of fucking Teen Wolf, so Seanan totally pulled Pris and me into her panel. Max Brooks totally dropped names like America drops bombs but was totally well spoken and articulate, and Mira Grant totally declared zombies to be magic. Jason Shiga, Alison Bechdel, and Kate Beaton totally talked about selling graphic novels in bookstores. Brecht Evens was totally Flemish and weird. I totally met Alison Bechdel and told her how immensely satisfying Fun Home was. Rob Liefeld may be a totally terrible artist, but he was totally friendly and nice to his many fans. Mark Waid totally never showed up to his signing, so I totally missed most of Jessica's presentation about comics in libraries. I totally took Elizabeth on a bogus journey around the Gaslamp in order to use a 10% off coupon that we didn't use. I totally saw Rob Zombie judge a costume contest at Dawn of the Con.

Pris totally fucking met Joss Whedon because she camped out in the Ballroom 20 line. I totally joined her around 6ish and made friends with her line buddies. I totally told the folks at EW.com how much their website sucked and they totally gave me $100 for it. I totally ran all the way back from the Hard Rock Cafe and totally just barely got back in line with Pris to get into Ballroom 20. The Community panel was totally funny. I totally side-fived Danny Pudi. The Legend of Korra panel was totally awesome. I was totally voice directed by Andrea Romano. I totally told Dee Bradley Baker he was amazing and thanked Steve Blum for embracing Bad Joke Amon. The Firefly panel was totally sweet and sentimental (but also funny), and Joss Whedon totally almost made me cry. I was totally in the front row for the Chew panel. Gabriel Bá and Fábio Moon totally never showed up to their signing. I totally saved Javi a seat at the io9 Sci-Fi panel and totally sat next to Middleman writer Margaret Dunlap. I totally told Cyriaque Lamar how hilarious I thought he was. The Girls Gone Genre panel had the totally awesome lineup of Marti Noxon, Jane Espenson, Angela Robinson, Deborah Ann Woll, and Gale Ann Hurd. Marti Noxon totally quoted Nicki Minaj and hugged her adorable kids. I totally re-met Jane Espenson and told her she was one of my favorite television writers. Middleman writer Sarah Watson totally joined the And Then What Happened panel to keep it from being a sausagefest. We totally found out what would have happened on The Middleman, FlashForward, and Dollhouse. I totally met Jose Molina, writer of my favorite Firefly episode, and Todd VanDerWerff, writer of my favorite Mad Men posts. Pris and I totally had dinner-style food at the Manchester Grand Hyatt. John Scalzi totally didn't know what my Jayne hat was. We totally chatted with Scott Westerfeld about the evils of gluten and agriculture.

The Indigo Ballroom line was totally not epic at 7. Garfunkel and Oates totally did a glamorous public soundcheck. The Attack of the Show panel was totally hilarious thanks to the amazing Matt Mira. Patrick Rothfuss totally sat in the VIP seats in front of us during the Geek and Sundry panel. Wil Wheaton totally felt like a dick for hoarding Jeff Lewis's comedy for himself. Sandeep Parikh totally had a soul boner. I totally met Teal Sherer of The Guild fame and Brett of "Scary Smash" fame. I totally found Helen on my way back from the bathroom. The Nerdist panel totally featured cool people like Alex Albrecht, Alison Haislip (who is totally a redhead), and Neil deGrasse Tyson (who totally did the meme pose). Joel McHale and Nathan Fillion totally made the TV Guide Fan Favorites panel hilarious. Sarah Wayne Callies totally made lots of "Where's Carl?" jokes. Jasika Nicole totally ships alt-Astrid and Abed. Christina Strain totally hates Buffy, but I totally bought the beautiful and amazing sketchbook she did with Adrian Alphona. Mark Waid was totally late to his signing, but I totally had a free pass to the front of the line. I totally told Gabriel Bá and Fábio Moon that Daytripper was amazing and gorgeous and one of the best graphic novels of the last decade. Keith totally made a deal for the first Walking Dead compendium. I totally talked to Tony DiTerlizzi about the Spiderwick Chronicles audiobooks. John Layman was totally excited that I found Scarface: Scarred for Life for him to sign. Mark Waid revealed a totally cool lineup for Thrillbent. mutinousmuse, Mr. Musey, and I totally enjoyed our annual dinner of overpriced food and terrible service at Red Pearl Kitchen, this time with bonus Pris. I totally watched David Mack draw a bit at Trickster. I totally met Brea Grant at SlamCon. I totally went to my first cool Comic-Con party and bowled a strike. No, literally, I totally bowled a strike. Fábio Moon totally maybe recognized me from earlier. Robin Thorsen and Michele Boyd totally arrived just as I was leaving.

Jason Shiga totally showed off his awesome interactive comics and used the phrase "topographically isomorphic." I totally walked right into the Merlin panel and enjoyed the adorable amusingness of Katie McGrath and Colin Morgan. I totally skipped out on the next panel to meet Dahlia and see the Jane Espenson/Husbands panel. Jeff Greenstein totally used the words "comport" and "facile," and Jane totally used the word "conundra." The DC Nation panel was totally moderated by Kevin fucking Smith. Beware the Batman looks totally cool. People totally miss Teen Titans. People totally love James Marsters. Nicholas Brendon totally did the Snoopy dance. I totally got the "Oooh" of Good Question for asking the Buffy anniversary panelists what recent works they thought existed because of Buffy. We totally sang along with Nicholas Brendon. I totally sat next to someone who had never seen "Once More with Feeling." I totally chatted with the writer of Spontaneous and impulse-bought Bad Kids Go to Hell for five dollars. Seanan totally plotted our waiter's death.

I was totally on the same flight home as Jason Shiga and Paula and Nick from Dr. Comics.
Tags: comic-con, i am so awesome, it's a small world, jane espenson, javier grillo-marxuach, joss whedon, lj friends, not being a serial killer, personal, real life friends, such is life
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