December 22nd, 2011
|11:48 pm - Cosmic Joke|
The last time I visited seanan_mcguire, she handed me Divine Misfortune, by A. Lee Martinez, and told me I should read it. When I later asked her to clarify whether she meant you in general or that I, specifically, should read it, she answered, "Both." I had an idea of what sort of books A. Lee Martinez wrote, but I didn't know anything about Divine Misfortune but the title, so I decided to go in completely blind! I didn't look up anything about it; I didn't even read the back of the book.
I was hooked from the first chapter, though, which introduced the hilarious concept of the book: not only are gods real, but anyone can become a follower of a god to pay tribute and reap the benefits. The book opens as our heroes, Teri and Phil, essentially surf an online dating service to find a god. They settle on a luck god...who promptly moves in with them, to their dismay.
Meanwhile, Bonnie finds herself attached to Syph, a goddess of heartbreak, and Worthington becomes the number one follower of Gorgoz, a chaos god.
One critic called A. Lee Martinez an "American Terry Pratchett," and I wouldn't go that far (although I can't think of any other candidates), but the book is good fun. The three plots intersect, but the plotting isn't really the strong point of the book, actually. I found that halfway through the book, the actual story wasn't really holding my interest, but the characters are fun, and the tone is silly and absurd while still treating the situation with seriousness (there's an Office of Divine Affairs). If you enjoy books about gods acting like regular people, then this is a book you will enjoy!
And speaking of divine misfortune...
So there's this girl I've had a general crush on for approximately 22 months, but I haven't really done anything about it because what's the point. But I figured that if there was one girl I knew that I would ask out, it would be her (well, there are others, but I thought she had the highest probability of saying yes).
Since I am the dateless wonder, I take female friends to my company holiday party so I'm not so alone. This year, I asked her, and she said it sounded like fun.
When I messaged her to confirm her availability, she did. And also spelled out in no uncertain terms that it should be clear to everyone we were just friends, we're friends, she wants to hang out with her friend, she's not interested in a date.
Why do I even ever entertain the slightest notion, the tiniest inclination to actually ask a girl out? Now I'm getting rejected even without asking! (This is actually the second time I've been preemptively rejected, but I wasn't interested the first time.)
If there's one thing I like, it's pretty girls who don't want to date me.
Current Mood: rejected
Current Music: Reveille - What You Got
Ouch. That's pretty harsh behaviour on her part.
Nah, I completely understand wanting to avoid the awkwardness of "Is this a date?" if she's not interested.
I understand that, but I think she could have been more sensitive in how she went about it. In my (very limited) dating days, I would have been pretty upset if someone had said that to me.
The party isn't till January. I'm sure it will be fine.
That was just an incredibly rude and insensitive thing for her to do. I'm sorry. :(
Thanks, but I don't think it was rude or insensitive. If she is not interested and senses that I am, it's in both of our best interests to make it clear what the situation is before going into potential-date territory so we can enjoy the evening without weird expectations getting in the way.
Oh, okay! Yeah, the "it should be clear to everyone" bit just made me flash back to a rather unpleasant scene for me where I was talking to a guy I was interested in, and his friends walked by and did that whole "nudge nudge wink" thing and he immediately says, "Oh, God, no! I'm not *with* her, no way" at which point I sank into the floor and died. Very glad that your situation's not the same thing, and I hope you have fun at the party!
Heh, no, she even joked that it's not like we had to wear a sign or anything.
Sorry to hear. :( I've had a whole heap of similar experiences recently, trying to convey interest to someone who is then firmly 'just friends' or oblivious, going after some pretty girl. I have no idea what to do about it though, so I guess I can't really offer any advice.
That said - it's a suck situation to be in, and I'm sorry she wasn't interested, but I have to disagree with the other commenters that she was necessarily being rude, insensitive or a pill by insisting on her right to define her own boundaries. If it were me, and I had some reason to not want to feel romantic pressure, my options would be to confirm that it isn't a date, or to not go at all. A fake date to make a guy feel better at my own expense is out of the question - and if I'm hanging out with him in the first place, I probably respect him enough to be up-front about it.
I agree with you and was surprised at the responses. My intention was never to paint her in a bad light. I really like her, obviously! I don't want people saying bad things about her. It sucks, but she probably saved us both some awkwardness in the future.
Wow. That's rather harsh.
For what it's worth, though, one of my best friends ended up marrying a guy with whom she was "just friends and nothing more" with for a long time. I was hugely surprised when they got engaged. He took her to Disneyland once and she told me "he's hoping to score with me. He's so, so not going to."
So hang in there, I guess!
What, don't say things like that. That would give me the slightest glimmer of hope. Hope is the thing with feathers, and I must shoot it in the face.
(someone needs an injection of Snowflake Day joy! All I can offer is a link to a kickass Star Wars vid
I'm not trying to encourage...you know...everlasting longing or anything, but I do have to say, it has happened to me three times that someone who had made it very clear to me that there was no interest whatsoever, later turned out to be totally into me and did in fact date me. The best example being the person I have now been with for five years. I mean, it might not turn around with this chick, but as a more general thing, girls change their minds sometimes. Especially if it's a situation where it seemed like someone was kinda flirty for a while, but then says they really weren't interested at all and just wanted to be friends, there's a high probability it'll turn out they maybe hadn't realized yet that they were interested.