Polter-Cow (spectralbovine) wrote,

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National Bovine's European Vacation II: Facebook Status Edition

Given that I have yet to do a more extensive post about my adventures in Budapest and Barcelona, this may realistically be all you get regarding my adventures in England and Scotland (I haven't even finished writing down my notes from the trip). But my Facebook status updates do summarize my trip quite well!

spectralbovine has tickets for the following: The Mousetrap (longest-running show EVER), Doctor Who Experience (OMG INSIDE THE TARDIS), In a Forest Dark and Deep (Matthew Fox and Olivia Williams!), day trip to Stonehenge and Bath, day trip to Loch Ness and the Highlands, and War Horse (life-size horse puppets!). So much for spontaneity. PLANNED AWESOMENESS INSTEAD.

spectralbovine is very disappointed that after having already lost an hour to Daylight Saving Time, he is losing another hour to British Summer Time! At least he saw the Prime Meridian on Greenwich Mean Time.

spectralbovine learned about the history of London at the Museum of London, had authentic fish and chips at the Anchor, saw a hundred million fake sunflower seeds at the Tate Modern, got a taste of what it was like to see Shakespeare at the Globe, had an authentic 99 Flake from an ice cream stand, and had a home-cooked British meal from Irishwoman [Jars]. Yorkshire pudding is not pudding, what the fuck.

spectralbovine relates to St. Paul's Cathedral in terms of Assassin's Creed II and Fresco, to the British Museum in terms of God of War and Cyclades, and to The Mousetrap in terms of [SPOILER] and [SPOILER]. Seriously, how is whodunit in The Mousetrap not one of the best-known spoilers of all time? Can millions of people really keep a secret?

spectralbovine FLEW THE FUCKING TARDIS at the Doctor Who Experience, saw lots of old fucking things at the Victoria and Albert, marveled at all the fucking dinosaurs at the Natural History Museum, and walked in the footsteps of Jack the fucking Ripper with London Walks. In other news, the "Amy Pond" look of short-skirt-and-stockings is not uncommon, and Upminster sounds about as dirty as Cockfosters.

spectralbovine toured beautiful Westminster in the morning and managed to squeeze in quick tours of the National Portrait Gallery (DEAD WHITE MEN) and the National Gallery (Impressionism and Post-Impressionism FTW) in the afternoon. Thanks to a seat upgrade, he had a good view of Matthew Fox yelling at Olivia Williams. And on a Literary London walk, [cucumbersarnies] ran into a friend from school she hadn't seen in 16 years.

spectralbovine had a strangely disappointing first last day in London. Stonehenge really was just a bunch of rocks in a field, but they sure were...mysterious. Bath was quite lovely, but he didn't have enough time to tour the Jane Austen Centre. Rough Trade East did not have the Sohodolls CD he was looking for. And authentic chicken tikka masala tasted NOTHING like he expected; butter chicken tasted even LESS like he expected.

spectralbovine loved that Edinburgh Castle was a real castle that did castle-y things. Underneath the city, he discovered the Real Mary King's Close. And at night, he went on one of the best walking tours he's ever been on: the tour guide was a cute Scottish girl, there were only four people, he was hanged twice, and [Joe@] sold his soul to the devil. Scotland sure likes killing people.

spectralbovine had a lovely lunch of beetroot risotto and chicken with honey and pommery mustard at Doll's House followed by Snickers and chocolate peanut butter ice cream at B. Jannetta's, thanks to [pandarus's] recommendations. He has also introduced Joe, Tera, and Dave to Botticelli: persons used so far include Mike Myers, Werner Heisenberg, Alexander Graham Bell, and Kamehameha.

spectralbovine thanks [Dave], [Tera], [Joe@], [Ryann], [enshanam], and [Nathan] for reminding him that a bunch of Rice people makes for the best dinner table conversation ever. He is now exhausted from his very first céilidh, and he congratulates [barilosopher] and [Carrie] on their awesome Scottish wedding!

spectralbovine climbed to the top of an extant volcano, stood in the room in which Mary, Queen of Scots's Italian secretary was stabbed 56 times, saw a million pounds and one of [tigeremme's] favorite paintings, and lost to [ashfae] in Cluedo: The Card Game (discovered in a St. Andrews thrift store between the wedding and the reception) and Munchkin Booty.

spectralbovine had vegetarian haggis and chocolate chicken tikka masala with whipped cream and sprinkles. It's basically like Indian mole! Later, he may have had encounters with the South Bridge Entity and the Mackenzie Poltergeist. Then he visited the grave of one Thomas Riddell.

spectralbovine thanks [Jofish] for recommending he go to Glasgow to visit the Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum, which is the BEST MUSEUM EVER. He wants to have kids just so he can take them there. He also appreciated Whistler at the Hunterian Art Gallery and puppets in the Mitchell Library. In other news, he wonders if Scotland would mind if he took home a redhead. They appear to have a surplus.

spectralbovine found the Highlands to be mountainous and green, peppered with rivulets and rivers and painted with lochs. It's a shame the weather was so dreich he opted out of exploring Urquhart Castle and cruising on Loch Ness. But on his last night in Scotland, he chatted with a nice young man on the train who recommended he return and visit more of the Highlands. Perhaps! In other news, he is now obsessed with blackcurrant.

spectralbovine was delighted that the Tower of London was a REAL CASTLE with a MOAT. And the Crown Jewels were SHINY and SPARKLY. And then he saw War Horse: HOLY LIVING MOTHER OF FUCK, what an amazing piece of theatre and puppetry. It's spectacle, but with an emotional and dramatic purpose (although he must admit he wasn't specifically compelled by the general boy-and-his-horse story, the war scenes were affecting).

spectralbovine experienced the glorious juxtaposition of beans and toast this morning and the bizarre concoction that is coronation chicken on the plane, but now he must celebrate his return to the United States of America with a ceremonial burrito.
Tags: board/card games, buffistas, doctor who, food, girls, lj friends, not being a serial killer, personal, real life friends, rice, theatre, vacation
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