January 6th, 2011


I Would Say to Them, "You Want Ice Cream Cone?" Both of Them Say Yes.

I spent the holidays with my brother & Cassie (and Layla the dog and Kalliope the kitten). I rarely saw daylight (once for Conan's birthday lunch, where I met some high school friends and performed my monologue in a Mercado Juarez, and once for lunch with Cassie's dad and his girlfriend) and usually only left the house for late-night fast food, Christmas at Cassie's grandparents', or a New Year's Eve movie-and-dinner night. Yet, I had an awesome time! Because we played ALL THE GAMES.


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BioShock: So I'm a few years late on this train, but holy crap, this game is great. You explore a creepy, Art Deco-inspired, underwater city populated with maniacs that you fight not only with weapons but special powers you gain through genetic modification. As you discover more and more about Rapture, you think you have it all figured out until suddenly WHAM I CAN'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING BECAUSE IT WOULD BE A SPOILER. Rah rah Objectivism? It's fun and addictive and reminded me a bit of Dead Space, which came later but I think is more awesome. Although the upcoming BioShock Infinite could just be AMAZING.

Heavy Rain: Unlike any game I've ever played, Heavy Rain is more like an interactive movie. You play four different characters all connected by the Origami Killer, a serial killer who kidnaps sons and drowns them in the rain. The gameplay is a mix of pressing buttons and moving the analog stick to do rote things like opening doors and to execute quick-time moves like avoiding a punch to the face. It's the sort of game where one minute you're fighting for your life and the next minute you're making scrambled eggs. No, seriously. You make scrambled eggs. You even get an Achievement for it. But what's amazing about the game is you truly begin to feel for the characters you're controlling. The focus on the mundane activities actually makes the more intense and exciting sections that much more exciting and intense because you, you are responsible for this character's fate, for everything they do, for the choices they make, and the story can go in any number of different directions (although they will eventually dovetail back to the main thread). One of your characters can die and it's not game over for you, just that character. It's a unique gaming experience, albeit a short one (I beat it in a night and a day, since it's like watching an eight- or nine-hour movie).

Assassin's Creed II: Holy shit, this is SO MUCH BETTER than the first Assassin's Creed. They kept everything good about the first one, fixed everything that was bad, and then added more good stuff. This is what the first game should have been like. It actually feels like a real game! With a story you are a part of! Not just the same three missions over and over and over. There was at least one day where I spent basically the entire day playing this game. And when I finally beat it, I got very excited for the third game. Video games are awesome these days, you guys. Great gameplay plus great stories equals AWESOME. Also, you get to be pals with Leonardo da Vinci.

Red Dead Redemption: I mostly just watched my brother play this, but I played a little bit, and it's pretty fun! You get to ride horses and shoot outlaws! And...gather herbs. And shoot armadillos! And look for OMG WHAT THE FUCK A FUCKING COUGAR RAAGH FUCKING SHIT GET OFF ME HOLY SHIT OH GOD A BEAR GODDAMMIT AAAAHH. The Wild West was a dangerous place, yo.


Spaceballs: Cassie had never seen Spaceballs, can you believe it?? So that was fun. I hadn't seen it since college, and, as I had thought in college, it has some strangely glaring flaws, but it's full of classic lines and moments, and it's still pretty hilarious.

Black Swan: I really liked the way it was shot, and of course Natalie Portman was fab, and the visual effects were subtle and creepy, but it played like a fairly typical character-fights-with-her-dark-side piece. There's nothing wrong with that, but it wasn't as ~*amazing*~ as I was hoping.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World: I got Cassie the BluRay for Christmas, and we spent a couple hours watching the extras one night, and I hearted everyone involved. Then we watched the movie with the trivia track on, and it was my third time seeing it, and I still love the crap out of it. It's such a fantastic film, and I really wish it had done better at the box office. More people need to see this movie. That Edgar Wright was able to get this movie made—and made like this—inside the Hollywood system is astounding.

We now return me to my regularly scheduled life. *sadface*