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August 16th, 2009 - The Book of the Celestial Cow — LiveJournal

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August 16th, 2009


01:55 am - An Innocent Victim
Tonight, I attended closing night of the latest Thunderbird Theatre show, Aaron Trotter and the Incident at Bikini Beach. Previous Thunderbird shows have included Pride and Succubus—whose performance I don't appear to have written about but I really enjoyed—Aaah! Rosebud, and Release the Kraken!. Dan (incidentist) has been in most of them, including this one, where he plays Biff Trotter and Frankie Avalon. This year's show fused Harry Potter with '60s beach blanket movies. It featured an invisibility blanket (that makes you invisible but not itself), gratuitous dance scenes, ukulele songs, all-stage brawls (complete with BAM! and POW! signs), and unthinkable acts done to a cat puppet. The comedy was the broadest I'd ever seen in a Thunderbird show, so I prefer the past shows, but I'll always remember this show because, uh, I was in it.

Before the show began, Bryce, the Thunderbird MC, announced that the show required an audience volunteer to play an innocent victim. There were two requirements: they had to be able to read, and they had to not mind getting a bit wet. I was game. My hand shot up, and so did a girl's behind me. (The girl, I later found out, was the very pretty Emma Beenthere from Pride and Succubus.)

Bryce said he would hold a short competition. He asked me if I were an innocent victim, what sound would I make?

"AAAAAAAUUUUUUUURRRGGGGHHHHH!!!" A horrific yell erupted from deep within my soul, shocking Bryce and stunning the audience into silence.

Bryce asked the girl behind me if she were on a safari and a tiger attacked, what sound would she make?

"Oh, my!" she cried daintily.

He asked the audience to vote. For me, a rip-roaring cavalcade of cheers. For her, some cheers. I was the clear winner. Bryce asked my name, and I gave it. He informed me that sometime during the first half of the show, I would be given a signal that I could not miss unless I had been knocked unconscious.

I had my program and a book in my cargo pants pockets. I took them out and placed them under the seat, just in case "getting a bit wet" was more than just a sprinkle.

Between scenes was a '60s radio show. One show had a bit where the DJ had a message from Stephanie, that she would go to the prom with Tommy (or whoever). Also, it was time for the innocent victim to come onto the stage. Ah! It was time! It was dark!

I stepped onto the stage easily (I was in the front row) and was directed toward the chair that did seem like it was my destination. The chair had been brought in by Evil Von Rottenhausen and his assistant, Wild-Eyed Lulu. I was nervous and a bit frightened, so I just fed on that for my character of Innocent Victim. I sat on the chair. I think some people were laughing at me, either because I was very convincingly scared or because they liked my I ♥ Irony shirt.

"Read these lines or we'll kill you," whispered Lulu. Aaaaah!!

What horrors await me in The Chair???Collapse )
Current Mood: pleasedpleased
Current Music: The Airborne Toxic Event - Sometime Around Midnight

(11 memoirs | Describe me as "inscrutable")


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