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August 4th, 2009 - The Book of the Celestial Cow

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August 4th, 2009


11:52 pm - Take a Good Hard Look at the Motherfucking Boat
A little after one in the morning, my phone rang, waking me up and completely disorienting me. It was my brother asking a question about the rules of Family Business. They thought I'd still be awake. Given that I have to wake up at six, no, I would not be awake.

In bed, however, I remembered some things I'd forgotten to write about Earth, Wind, and Fire. Earth loved hotel sheets and was so spoiled by them that she couldn't sleep in anything below a 300 thread count. I had no idea what thread count my sheets at home were. I figured they were a 5. And Fire asked me where I was from originally and accepted "Texas" as a valid answer. I had thought she was perhaps sussing out my region of India for marriage compatibility, but no. Finally, I had wanted to mention that Wind was very petite, like Kristen Bell-size, whereas Fire was more regular-sized, though still slim.

And this is my wife, SapphireCollapse )

I fucked a mermaidCollapse )
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: Andy Hunter - Come On

(13 memoirs | Describe me as "inscrutable")


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