June 1st, 2009

Sex before kissed

Chaste Makes Waste

Last night/this morning, I dreamed I was in Leverage. I'm not sure whether I was Hardison or myself, but Sophie hadn't cased the joint properly, and we had to run away from a guard. And I held Parker's hand.

That's what I remember most vividly, holding her hand. It gave me the most wonderful, happy, content feeling.

I don't know whether it's because I don't have a lot of Experience, but I don't normally have dreams about having sex. Or even making out. In my conscious fantasies, of course, I have dirty thoughts, but my subconscious is rarely so explicit. My favorite dreams, the ones I still remember years later, have always been about much more mundane activities. When I was way into Natalie Portman, the one dream I remember her appearing in, we were just cuddling in a papasan chair. Or she smiled at me from across the room and walked over and rubbed my shoulder or something. Or we were sitting in the back of a limousine, talking, and maybe we almost kissed before I woke up.

That's the kind of thing I dream about doing with a girl. Just being...intimate, feeling important and loved. That's what makes my dreams dreams, the sort you wish would come true, the sort you're disappointed to wake from when you find yourself in your bed alone and none of it was real, none of it at all.