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July 23rd, 2008 - The Book of the Celestial Cow

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July 23rd, 2008


09:14 am - If I'm Going to Have a Future, I Prefer It to Be Multiple Choice!
Say your aunt calls you up one Tuesday night around 8:30 and asks if you want to come down to Santa Cruz...because she's got a girl you might be interested in. She's born and raised in America, but she's been working in India as a journalist (finally, not an accountant!) for the last three years. She was an English major. Your aunt thinks you might be a good match, but the girl is leaving the next day. Part of the problem with this whole arranged marriage deal is that it's hard to meet the girl in person if she's not local. What do you do?

A) Nothing. Girls, marriage, whatever. Fish in the sea, etc.

B) Get her contact information so you can e-mail her or something. She does sound interesting.

C) Ask your aunt to put this hypothetically awesome girl—who must be made of gold or something—on the phone.

D) Drive nearly eighty miles down to the Santa Cruz Boardwalk to spend a couple hours with this random girl you know nothing about.

If you chose D, congratulations! You might be me.

Wait, hold up, step off, buddy! Did you walk with her along the beach by the water and discuss your jobs and education? Did the conversation really take off once she mentioned that your aunt had told her that you "read a lot"? Were you surprised that her response to your comment that, actually, you've been reading a lot of comics lately was "Which ones?!"? Did she, like several others, recommend Haruki Murakami's The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle? Did you disagree about how relevant The Namesake was to your generation? Did you find that conversation was not magically unawkward just because you had things to talk about? Did you drive her back to Belmont to give you guys another hour to talk? Did you discuss Hindi films and their propensity to remake American movies without giving them any credit at all? Did you impress her with your theatre background? Did you search for things to say during the silences? Did you meet her dad? Did you exchange e-mail addresses so you could send her your stories and she could send you hers when she wrote them? Did you discover the next morning that she doesn't have a brother, so even if further correspondence turns your common interests into mutual attraction, your parents might not think she's good wife material?

You did? Damn, dude. You want to trade lives? Because mine is fucking ridiculous.
Current Mood: crazycrazy
Current Music: Stuart Davis - Smoke [in my head]

(107 memoirs | Describe me as "inscrutable")


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