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May 29th, 2008 - The Book of the Celestial Cow

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May 29th, 2008


07:20 am - Wank Early and Wank Often
Now, I'm sure many of you are already aware of the LJ Advisory Board Election. If you are not, well, cofax7 has you covered:
Find information about the candidates here. A list of fannish endorsements of various candidates can be found here. There's a good summary of election posts and discussion here.

Vote here. If you want to change your vote, go here.
If you've been following the election at all, you know that it is ridiculously wanktastic. Topics have included the following: trolls, seizure-inducing icons, jokey rape comms, neo-Nazis, regular Nazis, bannings, sockpuppet voting, aspersions on all of fandom, and death threats. Which got me thinking:

What would happen if I ran for the LJ Advisory Board?

I don't mean that in any seriousness at all, as I would be a terrible representative of LiveJournal, what with my inability to A) have opinions and B) express them. What I really want to know is what sort of wank would I cause?

Any time you put yourself out there, you become a lightning rod for drama. When Veronica Mars was big, I had the occasional comment directed at me in various hate memes (do people still do those?). Now that the show is off the air, I'm no longer important, and there's no reason to hate me. But if I had hundreds of people flocking to my journal and examining me down to the last minute detail to see how good of a candidate I was or exactly how inferior I was to someone's chosen candidate, the hate would flow freely! How glorious it would be!

So why would people attack me (and remember, I would only be worth attacking if I actually had a shot at winning)? Would it be because I'm Indian?? Oh my God, you guys, do you want a POSSIBLE TERRORIST representing you??? Maybe it's my self-professed lack of intelligence! Or humility! And did you hear that I had dinner with people from LJ? Who knows what happened there? Maybe they're rigging the election for me! You don't know, DO YOU. I'm such a bastard!

I've given you some starter ideas. Now I want you to troll my journal! Take sides! Malign my integrity! Defend my honor! Hurl baseless accusations and cat macros! Feel free to recruit your well-meaning friends, but be aware that actual trolling will not be permitted. Let's have fun out there, folks. Here's a faux election poll to give you some fodder.

Poll #1195707 Erection Pole. I Mean, Election Poll.

First and only choice (the user you would most like to have as your representative):

jameth
1(2.5%)
legomymalfoy
2(5.0%)
spectralbovine
37(92.5%)

Current Mood: mischievousmischievous
Current Music: Garbage - Butterfly Collector

(13 memoirs | Describe me as "inscrutable")


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