September 15th, 2006

When Polter-Cows Attack!

Help Me Be Not Naked!


A) Courtesy of cofax7: Best. Icon. Ever. It made me laugh on a bad day. That is how funny it is. It makes me laugh right now.

B) If you're a fan of Veronica Mars, Mars Investigations, and/or culture, pop or otherwise, then you are probably my friend. Also, you should check out our new Cultural References section (we've only analyzed season 2 so far, but season 1 is on its way!). Here, you can discover that James Bond has been referenced FOUR TIMES in season 2 alone. But wait, there's more! If, say, you're watching "Donut Run," and you're mystified by Vinnie's comment about steak knives (perhaps because you live in Kazakhstan!), you can see the cultural references for the episode and discover that he is making reference to late night infomercials:
Capitalism is awesome, you guys. Any schmuck with the slightest bit of ingenuity can hawk his product on TV if he gets Everyman and Everywoman (in addition to a washed-up celebrity) to endorse it. Sure, he'll be relegated to a slot between the hours of two and five in the morning, when most people are sleeping, but that is just the reason why you should always throw in a known-quantity incentive to entice your zombified potential customer! The free set of steak knives is stereotypically popular because Americans sure love to eat steak, and how can you eat your steak without steak knives? It's impossible! Ah, capitalism.

Don't you feel smarter already?! Perhaps my explanation of the Brer Rabbit reference will appease your hungry brain:
Folklore is rife with trickster characters. Loki. Anansi. Ashton Kutcher. Brer Rabbit (short for "Brother Rabbit") is the trickster character in African-American folklore. The best-known tale is "Brer Rabbit and the Tar Baby," in which Brer Rabbit pleads with Brer Fox not to throw him into the briar patch when, in fact, that is exactly what he wants him to do, as he was "born and bred in the briar patch." Reverse psychology! Naturally, then, when Veronica insists that Duncan hates Mexico, Lamb suspects that Duncan was born and bred in Mexico. Which he wasn't, but Lamb isn't that bright.

AREN'T THOSE WRITERS SOOOOOO CLEVER? And did you notice that the video game was Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball?
It is clear that Dick and Logan are playing a volleyball game. What is not apparent, however, is that said game is a spin-off of the popular fighting game series Dead or Alive. Because after you rip out your opponent's spine, you really want to relax on the beach. I suppose we can't fault the game for its existence; how else would men who majored in breast physics get jobs? We're looking forward to Street Fighter Sand Castle Dance Party and Mortal Kombat Bikini Kar Wash.


C) If you're a fan of Veronica Mars, puzzles, and/or watching weird shit on YouTube, then you are probably my friend. Also, you should check out, which has gotten progressively more intriguing. If you can't figure something out, go visit the hearst_helpers, because they probably figured it out yesterday.

D) pixie37373 is totally awesome and got me a totally awesome gift certificate to the totally awesome I've seen shirts linked on this site many times, and now I can finally have one. Except...THERE ARE SO MANY. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO BUY. SUGGEST SHIRTS THAT I WOULD LOVE, O DISCIPLES OF BOVINITY. In order to use the gift certificate up completely, I'll either have to buy two or get one shipped to me fast. So find me cool shirts!

E) There is no E. There is no Miss Zarves.