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August 11th, 2005 - The Book of the Celestial Cow

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August 11th, 2005


07:47 pm - With Special Appearance by Lush
VoicePost
1016K 5:00
“Words. Loads of them.

Feel free to remove my comedy stylings at any point.”

Transcribed by: cerulgalactus


Sunil: So! I apologize for the sadness in my previous post, and to make up for it, we're gonna be all happy now. Because I did find people to keep me company. Lindsay here, my buddy from Rice—
Lindsay: Hi!
Sunil: —came and took me away, and now we're hanging out in, uh, Kennesaw, with people. So, people, please identify yourselves.
Lindsay: I'm Lindsay.
Sunil: You're also on LiveJournal, aren't you?
Lindsay: Yes, I am.
Sunil: Fine, don't say who you are.
Lindsay: Okay then!
Ben: Her name's darlingviolenta on LiveJournal. This is Ben, her fiancé. Yeah.
Lee Ann: This is Lee Ann, Lush in the Veronica Mars Meet Market and feeley20 on LiveJournal.
Ben: And her voice is all, you know, Southern-y.
Sunil: Yeah, she does have, in fact, a very Southern voice. And she does wish certain people were with us. Please name those people.
Lee Ann: kissyboots, sadie kate, and healing fish, we love you guys and we wish you were here.
Sunil: Aww, isn't that sweet? So, today we went to the Center for Puppetry Arts, or as we like to call it, the puppetry museum. No, we just call it the puppet museum. Anyway, it was really creepy. Tell us why!
Lindsay: Because puppets are creepy, duh!
Sunil: Good answer. There was, in fact, no Puppet Angel, which was very disappointing. But there was another sort of puppet.
Lee Ann: I have no idea [what he's talking about].
Sunil: Good answer.
Ben: Were there puppets fornicating? I wasn't there, were there puppets fornicating?
Sunil: No, but there were puppets talking about fornicating, which is very close, but not the same thing. Well, what have we been doing for the past hour or so? Oh! We've introduced Lee Ann to something very wonderful, and very funny.
Lee Ann: Strong Bad e-mails. Is that right?
Sunil: They have the, uh, DVDs here, and we've discovered—we've given her an abridged version of the first hundred and also listened to a lot of the special features, which feature crazy puppet action and—five minutes? Yes, in fact, we can talk for five whole minutes, Lee Ann! Well, in fact, you can talk for the rest of the time.
Lee Ann: No thanks.
Ben: I'm participating in illegitimate music exchange.
Sunil: Ben's ripping all my CDs. Uh, you can read off some of my CD names if you want.
Ben: He's got basically everything Of Montreal's ever put out, even things they didn't know they made. He also has Sufjan Stevens' Come On Feel the Illinoise, which apparently had a big lawsuit issue going on with its cover, because it featured Superman, and that was a big no-no according to DC Comics.
Sunil: I do in fact have the banned cover because I am just that cool.
Ben: That's about all I have to say. Lindsay looks like she has a plethora of information she would like to share with us.
Lindsay: No, Lindsay doesn't really have a plethora of...stuff.
Ben: She likes the word "plethora"!
Lindsay: That is—
Sunil: That's cause Lindsay's short.
Lindsay: That is—
Ben: She looks like she's twelve!
Lindsay: *laughs*
Sunil: Oh! We went to, uh, O'Charley's for lunch, and we ended up at a table with a fucking owl, like, right by it, so we figured it was a sign that it loves Rice.
Ben: [something about fucking and owls and birds and laying eggs in the sand]
Sunil: Well, birds do have to fuck before they can make the eggs.
Ben: That's a bald-faced lie! No, I don't wanna learn your science!
Sunil: What else? We learned about puppets, and their creepiness. We, we played with a giant praying mantis. We saw a puppet from Dark Crystal.
Lee Ann: [We looked at my scrapbook.]
Sunil: Yeah, cause Lush almost died, so we saw her pictures of almost dying, and Scotland and shit like that. Umm...
Ben: We heard a white guy say "homey"!
Sunil: We heard a white guy say "homey."
Ben: Wait, I'm white, and I said "homey." I'm that guy! [Maybe you should end the post.]
Sunil: No, no, we're not ending the post. I-I still have some material in me here. Hold on. *clears throat* We're gonna give those transcribing people, we've gotta give them some work, you know. They gotta earn their keep. And, I don't, I don't really pay them anything, so, I don't see what their motivation is.
Ben: They transcribe it for you? They actually write down your posts? I thought you just posted an mp3.
Sunil: No, but then they transcribe it so people who can't hear them can read what I'm saying.
Ben: That is very cool, can you like speak in, I don't know, Dutch?
Sunil: I don't know Dutch. But I can speak in...random Gujarati.
Ben: Will they translate it into English [for your post]?
Sunil: No, they probably won't.
Ben: But will it keep it in the same language, or will it just write—
Sunil: If I said, say, "Oo PhonePost kare," I don't think they can really transcribe that. But if I said..."I have some sort of new message." They could! It's about to end, I promise you that. Time is running out. In fact, let's make a countdown of some sort. Let's say five, maybe four—

(26 memoirs | Describe me as "inscrutable")


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