February 23rd, 2005

When Polter-Cows Attack!

Ten Things I've Done You Probably Haven't

1. Been issued a criminal trespass warning...for "breaking into" the University of Houston band hall.

2. Originated the role of Dr. Zook in Butter Battle. (2a. Been in a Star Wars fan film.)

3. Met Norm Macdonald at a Lake Tahoe casino and Mischa Barton at JFK airport. (3a. Caught a rubber severed foot thrown by Chuck Palahniuk.) (3b. Met Terry Pratchett and Neal Stephenson on consecutive days.) (3c. Had a conversation with Dar Williams.) (3d. Had Sean Stewart address me by name in a Puppet Master chat.)

4. Dislocated my shoulder on a football field...but not from playing football. (4a. Accidentally jumped off a stage in front of a live audience.) (4b. Lacerated my ear by running full force into a stone column.) (4c. All in the same school year.)

5. Won $1000--the top and only prize--for a short story judged by professional writers...and won $150--second place--for the same story judged by grad students.

6. Danced in the streets of Bardoli, India.

7. Helped fund a Tegan and Sara music video.

8. Developed a lasting friendship with a girl I met at a movie theater.

9. Participated in a national folk dance competition...twice.

10. Growled in the face of the president of Rice University, who--wearing a black cloak, black hat, orange face paint, and fake fangs--had grabbed my shoulders and growled in my face...all while I was wearing nothing more than shoes, socks, a watch, and shaving cream.