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Wednesday the 13th Part XIII: The Final Beginning Lives with Blood to Take Manhattan to Hell - The Book of the Celestial Cow

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January 13th, 2010


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10:57 pm - Wednesday the 13th Part XIII: The Final Beginning Lives with Blood to Take Manhattan to Hell
My mom called AGAIN.

"Have you thought about it?" she said. "I thought I'd give you 24 hours." She spoke casually but seriously, clearly believing that I had changed my mind.

"No," I said, "I did not think about it. We are done talking about the necklace."

"What do you mean, done talking about the necklace?"

"I don't want to talk about the necklace. We can talk about anything else but the necklace." Oh, not anything else, let's not talk about marriage-related things at all. "Let's talk about Sherlock Holmes. Anything else, not the necklace."

I could get the locket and put it in my wallet, but I always had to keep the wallet with me. Could I do that? I didn't have to wear it, but I said I'd keep it on me.

"No," I said.

"Why are you being so stubborn?" she said.

"Why are you being so stubborn?" I said, almost laughing. "We are not talking about the necklace or the locket or anything related to it."

It was just like taking medicine. If I was sick, I took medicine, and it was just like that. Could I at least go pick up the locket tomorrow? Go on Thursday.

Give an inch, take a mile. "No."

"Okay, then go right now."

"I'm not—" I couldn't even finish because it was getting too ridiculous.

Finally, I pulled the plug: "We are not talking about this necklace anymore, goodbye!" And I hung up.

Afterwards, I was shaking, and my heart was pounding. This is getting harder and easier at the same time.

(And it's mostly getting annoying because I ACTUALLY WANT TO TALK TO HER ABOUT THINGS OTHER THAN THE NECKLACE RIGHT NOW. And I can't ask her to regale me with stories of how I learned to read until it stops being awkward. I want to ask how a family friend who was in a car accident is doing. I want to ask her how to iron clothes properly. I want her to be my goddamn mother.)
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
Current Music: Statistics - A Number, Not a Name

(24 memoirs | Describe me as "inscrutable")

Comments:


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From:tripoli
Date:January 14th, 2010 04:07 am (UTC)
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Yyyyeah. My mom is currently on week three of round 5,982 of Tripoli Is The Worst Offspring In the World, over a sweater. You have my sympathies.
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From:tripoli
Date:January 14th, 2010 04:09 am (UTC)
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I mean, different context, different issues, obviously. But everything five thousand times more complicated when it's mom.
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From:spectralbovine
Date:January 14th, 2010 04:14 am (UTC)
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It's always the little things.
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From:cofax7
Date:January 14th, 2010 08:18 pm (UTC)
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::hairpats to you both::

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From:chrryblssmninja
Date:January 14th, 2010 06:39 am (UTC)
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whoa shoot. I wonder if there's anything happening around her now that could be fueling her marriage/necklace momentum. This is crazy. I hope you do get to talk to your mom about the things you actually want to talk about.
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From:punzerel
Date:January 14th, 2010 09:43 am (UTC)
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What if you call her to ask about those things? I mean, sounds like there's a high chance she'll hijack the conversation for more necklace nagging, but if SHE calls you, she's the one with the agenda for the call. If you call her, maybe it would reverse that for long enough that you got your questions out? (I wouldn't ask about ironing right now though. Obviously if you would wear the locket you would have a wife and she would know how to iron, so it's your own fault you're stuck with ironing.)
[User Picture]
From:ebongreen
Date:January 14th, 2010 10:27 am (UTC)
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Calling her to ask about the things on your mind (that are not ironing) is a plan I like. BTW, googling "how to iron clothes" yields a variety of useful links and videos. ;-)

Also, if she does email, email her and tell her that conversations about the necklace are off-limits. (It's the old "say it in writing" routine.)

Furthermore, write that phone calls in which the necklace comes up will be summarily terminated, and emails in which the necklace is mentioned will be ignored. But only say it if you'll do it. :-(

It's an ugly game, but you get to practice being a more loving hard-ass than your mom. :-b
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:January 14th, 2010 12:19 pm (UTC)
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It is a thought, but right now, there's too much danger of hijacking. She needs some time to get it out of her system.
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From:lareinenoire
Date:January 14th, 2010 10:19 am (UTC)
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I've been told I'm very good at ironing (if that's possible -- talk about pathetic life skills!), so what did you want to know?

As far as mothers go, yeesh. I do second the suggestion to call her in a few days and try to keep the conversation focused on why you called her in the first place and see if it works. And it does seem possible that she's got something of her own that's making her fixate on this (my mother has a habit of doing that too).
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:January 14th, 2010 02:16 pm (UTC)
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The ironing board I have seems to be some sort of lapboard, so it was a real pain to iron on it on the floor when it was only raised half a foot. Unless I was doing it wrong. I think it's easier to iron on a real board, where you can let the rest of the clothing hang off. I'm not sure whether there's a special technique for using this wacky board! Also I don't think I was ironing my shirt right. Or my pants, probably. I tried, though! I TRIED.
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From:lareinenoire
Date:January 14th, 2010 02:26 pm (UTC)
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I used to have an ironing board like that, actually, and the best way I found to use it was to set it on the bed or on the table so that it came to a reasonable height and the clothing could at least sort of hang off the edge.
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From:gymble
Date:January 15th, 2010 02:24 am (UTC)
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I have an ironing board like that - actually I just got my first full-sized one. Put the board on a table. Actually, do you have a table? - I kind of recall that you just have a desk in your living room. Your bed could work as an alternative, but it will be rockier.

With shirts you want to start with the collar, then shoulders and sleeves, and then the body. Pants, waistband first, then work your way down.
From:scifantasy
Date:January 14th, 2010 11:52 am (UTC)
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Could I at least go pick up the locket tomorrow? Go on Thursday.

Give an inch, take a mile. "No."

"Okay, then go right now."


At that, I'd hang up, too. (And I've never done that, and I know that it would bring down an unholy amount of hell on my neck.) This is not parenting. This is domineering.
[User Picture]
From:homegoddess
Date:January 14th, 2010 01:10 pm (UTC)
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I think you handled that call really well.
(Deleted comment)
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From:spectralbovine
Date:January 14th, 2010 02:13 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, that's probably the next course of action.
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From:plazmah
Date:January 14th, 2010 02:48 pm (UTC)
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If I was sick, I took medicine, and it was just like that.

There is so much wrong with that mentality that I don't even know where to start. :(
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From:spectralbovine
Date:January 14th, 2010 03:00 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, it was around that point I realized she was really wearing the crazypants.
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From:ahtrap
Date:January 14th, 2010 06:04 pm (UTC)

I'm reading this, and I'm laughing

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Not because it's funny, but because it's so, sadly, familiar. Been there, done that with my mom, and will do so again in the future. Haven't got any prescriptions for you, because if I did, I'd have used them myself.

But sympathy, and a pretty damn good understanding of what you're going through and up against, and the conflict you're feeling about the "sometimes I really hate this person I love"? Got all of that, and in spades.

I'm not looking forward to when my parents quit tiptoeing around, and really get geared up on round two on "we're gonna help you find a wife!" Since it's been 6 years, and I'm out of practice, I might be coming to you for advice on how to sidestep the potential futures that have no potential whatsoever.
[User Picture]
From:bspalek
Date:January 15th, 2010 12:46 am (UTC)
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*hugs*

Your mom sounded a kind of endearing the first few posts I read about your guys' relationship, but now I just really hurt for you. I wish I could give you a real hug, as cyber hugs don't seem adequate for the pressures being put on you.

I hope things get easier between the two of you.
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From:lembeau
Date:January 15th, 2010 02:50 am (UTC)
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And I hung up.

Oh man, I swear to you I gasped when I read that. I can't believe you did that. Dude, how on EARTH did you? ♥ WOOOT, YOU DID IT!!

I want her to be my goddamn mother.

I have said those exact words (minus the goddamn)to her in a fight. You know how well that went over. It kills sometimes, I need her to be my mother, not the person telling how I fail as a human all the time. Argh.

This is getting harder and easier at the same time.

RIGHT?! I, too, have had it impressed by my friends the need to stick to my guns no matter how hard it got so they can finally learn that I'm not going to bend to their will every single time. It's hard walking that fine line between not disrespecting and establishing sovereignty.
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From:idreamofpeace
Date:January 16th, 2010 07:17 am (UTC)
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I am so sorry about all this, Sunil. But I'm also so proud of you for sticking to who you are and who you are is awesome.
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From:zetetyc
Date:January 18th, 2010 07:23 pm (UTC)

ironing.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkdKZHdMQGU

because i can't help with the rest.
[User Picture]
From:soleta_nf
Date:March 21st, 2010 01:30 pm (UTC)
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I could get the locket and put it in my wallet, but I always had to keep the wallet with me. Could I do that? I didn't have to wear it, but I said I'd keep it on me.

GRARGH. And now they're contradicting themselves. Last time you HAD TO WEAR IT. AROUND YOUR NECK. You offered a compromise similar to this. They consulted their priest person, and that was not good enough. Why is it good enough now, when you clearly have had enough and aren't willing to compromise anymore? GRARGH.

I want her to be my goddamn mother.

Once again: **HUGS**
[User Picture]
From:pica_scribit
Date:June 13th, 2012 04:31 pm (UTC)
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I know this was sort of a long time ago, but I just wanted to say, good for you, standing your ground like that. It's not easy, especially when it comes to family. Well done.

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