January 11th, 2010
|10:05 pm - Locket in My Pocket|
So at the end of the day, my dad called. We talked for a while about coming back from vacation, being in a play, the weather, and such, all the while my heart pounding waiting for the shoe to drop.
Thankfully, my dad appears to be playing the calm, rational one this time. He said my uncle could pick up the necklace, and I could pick it up when I visited, and carrying it in my pocket was fine. It was all about beliefs anyway, and if it worked, it worked, and if it didn't, it didn't, and I should continue doing what I needed to do as well. (It sounded like he didn't really believe in it, which was interesting.) He acknowledged that my mom Gets Like This, and we shouldn't take it personally. Call her tonight and mend anything that's been broken, and move on.
So I called home and talked to my sister a while before she handed the phone to my mom, who was very quiet and mumbly. I talked about the weather, and then we talked movies for a bit, and then she asked me if I was still talking to the latest potential future wife, and I said she had e-mailed, and she asked more questions, and I kept answering, so I guess I lose on that front, but I didn't have the heart to kick her while she was down, I suppose. Then she said that if I wasn't wearing the necklace, she would call the woman and let her know. I told her I'd keep it in my pocket if that was okay, and she said she'd ask the psychic or priest or whoever. Also, she guessed she'd have to get the gold chain back to my aunt since I wasn't going to need it. The price of gold being what it is and all. And then we said goodbye.
Inch by inch, this journey. Inch by inch.
Current Mood: okay
Current Music: Jerry Cantrell - Cut You In
|Date:||January 12th, 2010 03:57 am (UTC)|| |
Hey. I just read your last post. Nothing can piss you off and break your heart like family shit, and I understand how stressful the roller coaster can be. Keep breathing in and out.
I wish it wasn't so hard, but at least your Dad is being reasonable, it seems. You may have felt like you gave into answering her questions, but you do want a relationship with them, even if what they think you should want isn't what you do want. As long as you want to get married though and with them fighting so hard to make it happen their way, you'll have that bone of contention, but then again, even after your married, they're still going to want to run your life their way and focus on what they think should make you happy or you should do, instead of what actually makes you happy.
It's a hard road, since you don't want to completely cut them off and they don't make it easy for you, but the important thing is to remember that no matter how you go about it, your way,their way or a combination thereof, at the end of the day, YOU actually being happy (and not what anyone else thinks should make you happy), should be your #1
priority for yourself. *hugs*
|Date:||January 12th, 2010 08:33 am (UTC)|| |
That sounds like progress to me. It sounds like your mom realizes that you're going to do the necklace thing on your own terms. Also, you had a conversation about marriage that was closer to being an actual conversation. Just keep standing your ground.
Inch by inch, just like you said.
Every day, just a little bit. You can do it!
It may sound hokey, but I'm damned proud of you for sticking up for yourself on this. Sounds like it just might be working.
I just read this quote elsewhere on the web, on a completely unrelated topic, but it seemed very appropriate.
"On the big scale you need to make choices that are right for you, even if your parents disagree. You'll repeat this over and over in your adult life, making decisions about jobs or parenting or any number of things. You'll make these decisions differently than your parents might wish you to, but following your gut. And then you'll take responsibility for the result - that's the great thing about being a grown up. Because here is the key thing I learned: when people tell you they want you to do XXX, what they really mean is that they want XXX to make you happy, or they want you to be happy doing XXX. If you agree to do it, because you don't want trouble, fully knowing that XXX will make you miserable... nobody wins."
Oh, parents! I agree with etherealclarity
that they are all secretly trying to make sure you are happy, they are just rubbish and stifling at it. Keep calm and carry on.
Yay reasonableness! (I don't care if that's not a word, I JUST CREATED IT.)
Gaaaaah. Well, baby steps!
Oh good lord. I had missed the first installment somehow, but I just went back and read it. You're being a very good son here. I have no idea what to say otherwise.
Being Indian sounds friggin difficult, man.
This necklace business reminds me of Friends, when Joey gave Chandler the hideous friendship bracelet and Chandler didn't want to wear it and then Joey's feelings got hurt. "No no, it's not flashy, not for a Goodfella."
At least you made a little progress, and you've got one parent being reasonable.
|Date:||January 13th, 2010 11:02 am (UTC)|| |
At least it's not both parents at once, this time. *sigh* *hugs*