But in a time of beginnings, there must always be endings! It's Finale Week!
"Ma'am, we have some troubling news. Your son was sliced in half by a transdimensional portal."
They are going all-out on the alternate-reality shit! This show has become so cool! Who'd've thought?
WALTER TOTALLY STOLE OUR PETER FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION AFTER THE FIRST ONE DIED AND THAT IS WHY HE DOESN'T REMEMBER RANDOM SHIT FROM HIS CHILDHOOD. That is awesome. That is what I was guessing, but it's still awesome. What I had not even considered is, holy crap, what about the other Walter? He must be even crazier and also really angry at ours. And I notice they deliberately left Peter's mother covered in dust so as to keep casting options wide open. Walter's relationship with Peter just became so much more interesting. He clearly remembers bonding with Original Peter, and I wonder how much he misses him and considers his Peter "wrong."
I'm putting it out here in case I'm right: there is more than one of everything...except the Observer.
I also love how they totally explained why all the weird shit happens in the Boston area. SOFT SPOTS! THANKS A LOT, MASSIVE DYNAMIC.
I am not happy David Robert Jones is no more, but I'm sure we'll get one from the other dimension wreaking havoc. Which, by the way, there has to be more than one, right? Walter showed a bunch of forking timelines, and I think the Manifesto talks about a multiverse. So they could play with an infinite number of alternate realities now. Evil Olivia! Scarface Charlie! A world without shrimp!
And now Olivia is in an alternate reality with
Lost is ALREADY crazypants! Craziest show on television, right here.
I really ought to read the Bible one of these days. So I would understand why everyone is calling Man #2 Esau. Jacob! He kind of seems like a nice guy! What! And he's been going around touching people and hilariously reading Flannery O'Connor while they fall from the sky. So he knew they were going to come to the Island or did he bring them to the Island to begin with? See, I'm not sure whether I like the implication that Our Heroes have been cherry-picked from the human race to play on the Island because it completely ignores everyone else on the plane. A lot more people arrived on the Island than Our Heroes, but they didn't really do anything. I guess in that sense they weren't important, but I don't know how much of an element of destiny I want. I would appreciate more happenstance in getting the Lostaways on Oceanic 815. But Jacob was also key in getting Sayid and Hurley back to the Island, and I'm okay with those. Especially Hurley, because that was interesting. It was the only time he was really upfront about what was going on...except for whatever the hell he was talking about with Ilana. I don't know! Jacob!
I generally do not hate Jack as much as everyone else and I have found him an interesting character at times. BUT OMG I WANTED TO RIP HIS FUCKING FACE OFF THIS WHOLE EPISODE. REALLY, JACK? YOU ARE GOING TO BLOW UP THE ISLAND AND CHANGE HISTORY BECAUSE YOU WANT KATE? THERE ARE EASIER FUCKING WAYS TO GET INTO A WOMAN'S PANTS, I SWEAR TO GOD.
And then JULIET? SERIOUSLY? YOU ARE GOING ALONG WITH THIS BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO LOSE SAWYER WHO WHAT THE FUCK LOOKED AT KATE OR WHATEVER JESUS FUCK WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? YOU CANNOT GO AROUND CHANGING THE TIMELINE OF THE UNIVERSE BECAUSE OF YOUR FUCKING LOVE LIVES.
Miles, voice of reason! I hope you're right.
I am sad and confused that Locke is really dead! I have had a rocky relationship with Locke over the years but my brain hurts trying to understand that all this time it wasn't Locke. It was Esau! Who needed to convince Ben to kill Jacob because of a fucking loophole or something. But...but...it was LOCKE! He was so...Locketastic. Ordering people around and acting righteous and making Ben squirm hilariously.
Jacob seemed to die really easily for...whatever the hell he is. Maybe Esau had a magic knife. And now we have another twosome struggling for control of the Island, like Widmore vs. Ben. Everyone is just a pawn in some fucked-up chess game on this show.
(ROSE AND BERNARD AND VINCENT OMG!)
Julieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet! Yes, you were a little lame for parts of this episode but you were generally awesome at all other times!! DAMN YOU, V!!! Also, way to blow up the nuclear bomb since you have nothing better to do but die.
BUT WHAT HAPPENS WAAAAAH. I really don't like the idea of the last five seasons of Lost winking out of existence, but I also think that after all the build-up, just letting that be The Incident would be sort of anticlimactic and not enough payoff. I'm sort of afraid, but I know that at least at this point, Cuse and Lindelof know what they're doing. Bring 'er on home, boys. 2010!
Aw, Earl is Dodge's dad! And Crabman isn't the other kid's dad? PLOT TWIST!
Oh my God this episode had me so fucking smiley, you guys. I love how much heart this show has sometimes.
MICHAEL. HOLLY. MICHAEL AND HOLLY. THEY ARE SO PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER. AND HE IS BEING SO SWEET AND MATURE AND SLIGHTLY PATHETIC ABOUT IT. BUT SWEET. And "SlumDunder-Mifflinaire" was awesome. The funny torture! Toothbrush! Okay, it did fall kind of flat, but it was intended to, so...good job, guys. I don't understand why Michael hasn't been fired. Does David Wallace have a crush on him or something?
PAM! I WOULD GRAB THOSE FOR BALANCE. AND YOU ARE A VOLLEYBALL STAR.
Erin is so cute! I really enjoyed her last week, and I hope she sticks around. She reminds me of JStew, actually.
And the end! It was perfect! Pam! Jim! Baby! Happiness! SHOW!
Liz was kind of awful in this episode.
That was an awful lot of musical guest stars. But I was impressed with the ones who had lines; they did very well. I don't really like Sheryl Crow, but nice job!
Some plot twists everyone was predicting came true and some did not! The angels were totally not trying to stop the apocalypse and Ruby was totally evil all this time! And both of them make sense!
(Anna played no role at all in the finale. Why the hell did they give her all these random pointless scenes in the last few episodes? I mean, I appreciated seeing her, but she never really did anything.)
How many times did the phrase "son-of-a-bitch" appear in this episode? Jesus, Kripke, learn a new curse word.
I'm glad Sam overcame his demon blood! I don't think the whole arc was handled perfectly, but I think it was handled really well and with more subtlety than I thought this show was capable of. Sam came around a little too easily in this episode given how far he'd been falling recently, but maybe that's realistic since he was pretty much close to bottom and now had a better view looking up. I like that it was really just Sam who took a look at himself, not Dean browbeating him into Turning Good. Not that Sam was ever really Turning Evil to begin with. Sam knew that more than Dean did. But I do worry about Sam's demon eyes at the end. How far did he go? Was it really too far?
DEAN MADE A SUITE LIFE REFERENCE AHAHAHA. Oh my God.
So in the end they didn't really do the whole Dean vs. Sam Battle to the Death we all assumed was coming. I guess the fight last week was it? Which was resolved within the day? Okay then.
Lucifer! Rising! That..was not spoiled by the episode title or anything! Who are they going to get to play him? Can they get John Glover? HE'S ALREADY DONE IT COME ON.