Thing is, that very week, something horrible did happen: on April 1, my favorite morning show was unceremoniously fired—ostensibly for playing a 30-second snippet of the leaked Green Day album, but some believe it was just the final excuse. I had been listening to Woody, Tony, and Ravey on Live105 since I moved here in 2006. I was excited to meet them at BFD 2007. Thankfully, they organized a farewell party at Azucar in San Jose last night to hang out with their loyal listeners, just live life and party.
It was a very small place and full of people, and while Ravey was pretty distinct, I couldn't remember what Woody and Tony looked like, so I observed and listened for clues. I was a little diffident since this really wasn't my scene—I don't do well in loud, crowded places where everyone is drinking. I almost regretted making the drive down, but I did want to show my support. I followed Ravey to a box of free shirts. They only had small ones left. They were Woody Show shirts, but she had blacked out the Live105 logo on the front with marker, and Beth (Tony's wife) had ironed on black patches over the Live105 logo on the back. Niiiiice. I chatted with her a bit about meeting her before and mentioned Veronica Mars, since she was a fan and often mentioned it on the show. I just loved hearing the words on the radio, as it confirmed that people did watch the show. "And loved it!" she added. Later, we shared the love for and the sadness for the imminent cancellations of Chuck and The Sarah Connor Chronicles—she'd discovered Chuck because of the post-Super Bowl 3-D episode and had spent a lot of her unemployment catching up. Oh, Ravey! I miss her the most. She has a great voice. And laugh! One girl said she missed her laugh. I said I missed her laughing at traffic accidents—they often played a clip of her laughing during the traffic report.
I told Tony and Ravey about the time Cynda and Kylie had visited. We were listening to the morning show, and they were talking about Jen (Woody's wife) and Beth and such, and Kylie asked whether I knew who they were talking about. And I explained that I did! Because I listened to them every morning, and they talked about all sorts of things. "They're like our buds...that we never see," I said. Which is why they wanted to throw this party, said Ravey. They knew they had a special relationship with their listeners, and they wanted to come out and see us. When I left, she thanked me for coming; she's very sweet.
I talked with Woody a little too, and the White Menace was there as well, though I didn't really talk to him. And so was Beth! "We've heard all about you," I said. Which was weird. It was interesting to see what everyone looked like. Tony was much better-looking than I imagined.
Anyway, you don't care about my favorite morning show hosts, so I'll move on to the important stuff. Like this pretty blonde girl who seemed nice and sensible. While I was talking to Woody, she arrived with a very drunk companion, and she seemed very sensible in contrast. And I made a few comments to her. And then I introduced myself! To a random girl I found attractive! It was the weirdest feeling; I wasn't sure who had taken over my body. Someone be proud of me. Her name was Al(l)ison. I ran into her again in the bathroom line, and she gave me a little wave! She remembered who I was! I hung out a little, and then I never saw her again.
I did see her drunk companion, however. She was hard to miss, as she was very happy and affectionate. Outside, I walked by her, and she said, "I can't believe you love Woody!"
Well, I didn't particularly love Woody, but I thought she might mean the Woody Show in general. "Why?" I said, almost knowing what was coming.
"Because you're a different race."
(latropita: i think you should stop wearing your "please make racially sketchy comments to me" shirt out so much)
She was drunk and being blunt, she said. But what started as something as potentially uncomfortable as my past experiences this year—which, what is with this year?—turned into a nice, mildly entertaining twenty minutes or so. It turned out that Indians were her favorite of all the other races! Not the Chinese, who focus so much on technology. Indians value two things: their beliefs and family.
And do you know why she talked to me? Because I had a "sexy tan"! And I was "so cute." And she wanted to talk to me all night. Even though she was drunk, at least she was interested in me and found me attractive. I need validation from strangers whenever I can get it. She even let me hug her and put my arm around her and everything. If there's one thing I like, it's touching girls.
She was not a fan of haters, not just haters of races, but haters in general. She believed we were put on this planet to love each other; we had no signs that there was any other intelligent life out there, so it was just us. I agreed that the world would be a better place with more love.
"What do you want to talk about?" she asked at one point, which was nice. I could not figure out what I really wanted to talk about with her. My first inclination was to discuss my marriage woes with a pretty drunk girl, but I didn't feel like getting so personal. I think she asked me about my job, so I talked about that instead, and she talked about hers. She worked with disabled kids.
She asked my name, and I gave it. Her name was Christine. Later, she introduced me to her fiancé, Brian, who was much less drunk and playfully warned me about her. It was an arrangement I'd seen many times before, the guy having to watch his trashed girl to make sure she stayed out of trouble. But Christine loved us both, putting her arms around us ("I love whites and Indians the most."). She excitedly attempted to tell Brian what I did and actually got some of the details right.
"Are you putting your arm around me?" she said once when I was putting my arm around her.
"Does it make you nervous?" she asked. She had asked me why I wasn't dating anyone—after looking at my hands to see whether I was married—and I'd said I wasn't good at the whole Talking thing.
"No, it's okay," I half-lied.
"Have you had anything to drink?" she asked.
"No," I said, "I don't drink."
She immediately broke away as if I had the swine flu or something. "He says he's allergic to beer!" she cried to Brian. I refrained from correcting her. She almost seemed personally offended that I didn't drink. Or maybe she felt, as I did, that I was taking advantage of her drunken state to get close to her.
She went back to liking me very quickly, though. Christine declared that I had to marry a white girl! Because her Hungarian soon-to-be-brother-in-law had married an Indian woman—Indians were still her favorite, though, not Hungarians—and their daughter was so cute. Mixed-race kids are pretty hot, it's true. I'm not sure "I'm doing it for the hotness, Mom" will fly, though.
I was supposed to find a Water, though. She believed in the four elements and God. She was a Gemini and therefore Fire. Brian was Air, and Fire and Air went together. I was Virgo, which was Earth. Earth and Water went together. So I have to marry Katara? (I thought she'd said she was Air at first, but then later she said she was Fire. Wikipedia says Gemini is Air, so I think I heard correctly the first time. Hope Brian is really Fire, then!)
Christine was a nice girl, but even nice girls have to use the bathroom, so she exited to the bathroom line, and I never saw her again, which was sad. I looked for her later to give her a proper goodbye but could not find her.
I was left with a guy who had flown in from Dallas. That's hardcore.
I needed food, and although I had planned to go get some fish tacos at a place I saw on the way, I noticed an interesting little place a couple shops down from Azucar that was pretty cheap and loved on Yelp. The guy inside saw me mulling over the menu and came out to hand me a take-out menu. And told me that the prices were actually a dollar lower than printed. Five bucks for a chicken tikka wrap? I'm sold. So I came inside and waited on a couch and flipped through Maxim. The guy handed me a water while I waited. About ten minutes later, he handed me my food, told me to enjoy, and showed me the door.
"Do you want me to...pay for it?" I asked.
"You didn't pay?" he said. "Thanks for reminding me!" He rang me up. I didn't get an Honesty Discount.
I ate outside on a park bench.
As I walked back to my car, I saw a very large truck trying to parallel park. I saw that it would fit, but I knew it would still be difficult, so I stood at the back and made the universal "Keep going, keep going, STOP!" motions, unsure if the driver would even see and pay attention to me. When the truck responded, I knew my advice was being heeded. The truck made it in, but it was about a foot away from the curb. The passenger door opened, and a girl came out and said, "Thank you for helping!" Aw, she was cute. You may not know this about me, but I like cute girls.
She came out and monitored the back, and I realized I was redundant, but I wanted to see the job through (and get a thanks from the driver). I went to the front to monitor that bumper. To my surprise, the driver was another twentysomething girl; I was expecting the girl's mom or dad in a truck that big. Finally, she got it in a decent position. She got out and thanked me, and I went on my way.
We're ending the post. [And...we forgot what goes here even though we heard this at the end of dozens and dozens of shows.] Many...words...transpired here...today. And we hope you stick around for whatever's next. Because it's really, really, really good...as well.
"Bye bye, boys!"
"Have fun storming the castle!"
You guys can suck it. Have a great Bay Area day.