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August 10th, 2008


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11:33 am - Saturday Morning Fever
Early Saturday morning, I had one of the most terrifying dream experiences I've ever had.

I could hear my dad calling for me from the other room. I was lying in bed in my bedroom, and he was calling for me. I could hear him. Hear his voice.

My family was in my apartment, and I had no idea how they'd gotten there.

And then the door opened, and my mom walked in and lay down next to me on my bed. My back was to her, and I didn't turn around. I just knew she was there, could feel her on the bed, a presence.

And then she disappeared. There was a sort of jump, as if I might have woken up and gone back to sleep, like maybe I went in and back out of consciousness to return to this world where my family—or at least my parents—were in the other room. What were they doing in there? I didn't move. I just stay in my bed, scared, afraid to check.

My dad walked in and lay down next to me, as my mom had. Then, a little later, he was standing by my window, messing with the blinds. My eyes were open, and I could see him there. There was someone in my bedroom a couple feet away from me.

What if it wasn't my dad? What if it was some thief or murderer who had broken into my apartment? What if the rest of it had been a dream, and this was the reality?

I didn't make a sound. I lay there in my bed, pretending to be asleep so the strange man wouldn't hurt me.

And that's the last I remember before I truly and finally woke up. The blinds on my window weren't even down; I don't know why the man had been messing with the blinds.

It was all so real. And I wasn't anywhere exotic or improbable: I was in my bedroom the whole time. IN MY BED. I never really bought the way TV and movies so often had characters dream so close to their own reality because most of my dreams felt real but could easily be seen as dreams from an outsider's POV. But now I completely understand that feeling of a dream so fully grounded in reality as to be almost indistinguishable. And it scares the crap out of me.

To top it all off, it turned out to be an omen. Because when I went to turn my monitor on afterward, it gave a dying gasp and refused. I pinched myself to make sure this wasn't another nightmare. It wasn't. So here I sit with a new LG 20" widescreen monitor from Fry's, listening to music on new Logitech speakers and trying to get used to my new Logitech cordless optical mouse, which I might return because it is not as awesome as I hoped. Also, I picked up the second Buffy trade because Fry's had it for 25% off.

This morning, I could swear I saw the silhouette of my brother in the window.
Current Mood: scaredscared
Current Music: Two - Wake Up

(35 memoirs | Describe me as "inscrutable")

Comments:


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From:spadada
Date:August 10th, 2008 07:06 pm (UTC)
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Wow. That dream feels like it has to be significant. And if you ever write a screenplay this should definitely be a scene in it.
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From:spectralbovine
Date:August 10th, 2008 07:58 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, I think it's very telling. It freaks me out just to think about it.
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From:punzerel
Date:August 10th, 2008 07:12 pm (UTC)
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Dreams like that are so disconcerting.
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From:jennythen
Date:August 10th, 2008 07:27 pm (UTC)
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I have dreams all the time that I'm lying in bed, asleep, and for some reason I desperately need to wake up. No matter how hard I try I can't get myself to wake up or move or open my eyes. So real, so creepy.
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From:spectralbovine
Date:August 10th, 2008 07:54 pm (UTC)
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Ah, God, why would your brain do that to you? DREAMING OF BEING ASLEEP??
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From:roxybisquaint
Date:August 10th, 2008 07:38 pm (UTC)
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FREEEEEEEEEEAKY.

I've had lucid dreams before that felt very real, but the setting of the dreams is always a little off from reality. Having one that has real people and a real setting and that you felt... *shivers*
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From:penmage
Date:August 10th, 2008 07:39 pm (UTC)
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Okay, that's really weird.

Last night, I had one of the more disconcerting dreams I've ever had. I was in bed--in my own bed--and my husband was asleep next to me, and suddenly I heard movement outside my room. You know how sometimes, in dreams, you can't call out? There was that no-call-out barrier, but I broke through it and yelled, "Who's there?"

A little girl's voice said, "It's me." And then she came into the room, and was standing near the foot of my bed.

There was nothing threatening about her at all, but I was really freaked out, because I could not figure out what a 7 year old girl would be doing in my house at 3am. I tried to ask, "Who are you?" or "What are you doing here?" or even just ask N if he saw her too, but the can't-call-out barrier was back in place, and I couldn't say anything at all--and that's when I realized it was a a dream, and woke myself out of it.

It was so terrifying because it felt so real. Usually, if I get scared in my dreams, so subconscious part of me recognizes that they're dreams, and I can move on. But I was in my own bed. It was my own room.

I tried to retell it to N this morning, but I couldn't get across just how scary it was. It was just that the surroundings were so familiar, but even though she was just a child, she was wrong, and I couldn't make her fit into a reality where it was right that she would be there.

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From:spectralbovine
Date:August 10th, 2008 07:54 pm (UTC)
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Shit, dude. It must be one of those weekends. The Dreaming is having a party or something.
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From:pandora_17
Date:August 10th, 2008 08:27 pm (UTC)
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Ahh, I hate dreams like that.

I had one once where I was in this bizarre mansion. I ended up at the entrance of a pitch black corridor where Brandon Lee - in full Crow makeup - silently warned me to run back in the other direction and scream. This creeped me out and I quickly went past him into the corridor where this feral monster with charred red skin and sharp freakish teeth emerged from the other end ready to rip me to pieces and eat what was left. When he came at me it was like those horror movie effects where everything moves faster and disjointed, like a strobe light. He moved so fast he was a blur, but every few seconds I would get a clear, detailed look at him. As this was happening I realized the Brandon Lee/Crow person was trying to help me so I screamed as loud as I could and the monster retreated back into the darkness. I was rooted to the spot, so I couldn't run back in the other direction, and every time I had to stop screaming to take a breath the thing would come at me again. I finally woke up on the verge of a heart attack.

I also have a recurring dream where my teeth rot and fall out. I always have to go in the bathroom and check to make sure it didn't actually happen.
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From:spectralbovine
Date:August 10th, 2008 08:46 pm (UTC)
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Oh, most of my most memorable dreams are about being chased by monsters. Or my mom. My zombie monster mom.

The teeth-falling-out dream is a common one, although I've never had it.
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From:emmiegray
Date:August 10th, 2008 08:49 pm (UTC)
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Spooky. Our subconscious. When I was watching Alias, I would have dreams that I was being chased by spies.

I have a Logitech laser mouse, the one with the tiny receiver. I adore it, and recommend it highly.
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From:spectralbovine
Date:August 10th, 2008 08:57 pm (UTC)
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It's not responding well! Sometimes I move it and nothing happens. And the middle button is hard to click, and when I do click it, it doesn't actually do the action until I press another button. I don't know why it's not working properly!
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From:emmiegray
Date:August 10th, 2008 08:57 pm (UTC)
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I did have weird and real dreams this morning, I dreamed that people were stealing everything on my front porch. They loaded it all in a white truck, and I ended up being in the truck, and I was so mad at what they were doing, I forced open the back door of the truck and with my bare hands, tore off their license plate! Then I thought, 'that was dumb, how are the police going to find the truck?' It wasn't until I woke up that I realized how easy it would be to find them.
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From:upanashad
Date:August 10th, 2008 09:07 pm (UTC)
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I've had dreams like that, where I wake up in my dream and it's super realistic. They're so scary.
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From:annabelleonyx
Date:August 10th, 2008 10:34 pm (UTC)
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Wow that scared me and it wasn't even MY DREAM. I have had dreams that were in the room I was in, in my bed so real I have no idea if they are a dream or not. The worst part is I have had them where I try to scream and no sound comes out and it's the most terrifying feeling ever. (I swear that is what it must really feel like to be attacked and too scared to make a sound.) More than once I've woken in the act of trying to scream and suddenly realized I am only making a slight, soft "ah" sound.

Horrible. I'm glad you are awake now.
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From:spectralbovine
Date:August 10th, 2008 10:43 pm (UTC)
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AM I?
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From:super_hoodzie_x
Date:August 10th, 2008 11:07 pm (UTC)
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i had a dream similar to that in like 8th grade. I had fallen asleep sideways across the bed (instead of head-on-pillow, feet-under-covers) with my head facing the window. I had this dream early in the morning that the blinds were open and i could see this terrifying creepy rotting monster face staring at me, ready to attack. I was paralyzed and terrified, and suddenly i woke up and the window shades were closed.

i was totally freaked.
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From:spectralbovine
Date:August 10th, 2008 11:33 pm (UTC)
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Good God, that sounds horrifying. I can see why you still remember it.
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From:smrou
Date:August 10th, 2008 11:44 pm (UTC)
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Spring 2003, I'm in bed in my dorm room in grad school. In my sleep (I think? Sort of), but feeling very much like it's really happening, I become aware of a person standing right inside the door in the shadow looking at me. I have the strong sensation that this person wants to do me harm, but they're just standing there inside the door in the dark across the room from me. Since I think they want to hurt me I try to scream, but try as I might I can't get my mouth to open or my voice to make a noise. I try to move, but I'm paralyzed. I feel a little woozy, like I've been drugged--like this person has drugged me and is going to abduct me or something--and I can't move. I start to nod off--it feels like a result of being drugged because I'm trying to stay awake but can't--and I fall asleep briefly, then wake up and repeat the process again. This goes on for what feels like at least an hour.

Eventually I wake up for real--as in, I'm able to speak and move and am truly conscious--and I'm shaking with fear. I check the clock and discover I only went to bed about a half hour ago--I probably was never fully asleep, and this dream experience I had was obviously much shorter than what it felt like.

That was probably the most terrifying experience of my life. I haven't been able to figure out exactly what it was--a night terror, some kind of sleep paralysis, something else--but thankfully it has never happened again. The whole experience was kind of fuzzy, but what I can never forget is how certain I felt that I was in immediate physical danger, and how hard I tried to scream with no results.
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From:spectralbovine
Date:August 10th, 2008 11:56 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, I think that's a common thing, the inability to move. I couldn't move either. And the time dilation is also freaky.
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From:catatonia00
Date:August 11th, 2008 12:07 am (UTC)
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Voyeuristic family watching over you in your sleep is freakishly disturbing indeed. It feels symbolic, but probably (hopefully) not as creepy or mennacing as you've perceived it to be. It's telling of something, that's for sure. At least you weren't on the verge of being mauled, raped, assaulted, murdered, as I was in my series of bedside nightmares. As in mysterious intruders prying my window open and looming above, me lying there with eyes wide open, frozen in my bed, scared shitless and not being able to squeeze a voice out of myself.

Hi! Sorry for not being such a good LJ friend lately.
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From:toughcookie42
Date:August 11th, 2008 12:59 am (UTC)
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Poor Sunil. At least this didn't happen in broad daylight while you were fully conscious. Then you'd really have an issue. And at least your parents weren't REALLY in your apartment. Would you rather have waking hallucinations or have your apartment invaded by your parents?
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From:the_narration
Date:August 11th, 2008 03:34 am (UTC)
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That is pretty freaky. I had one kind of like that a couple months back. I was in this half-awake state where one of my eyes was open and I was seeing the actual inside of my room but dreaming that I was hearing one of my friends let himself into my apartment and walk through my room to get to the bathroom, and he was always somewhere I couldn't see on my closed-eye side. Except then my over-analytical mind went "But he doesn't have a key to my apartment, and anyway, the chain was on." And then I had to force my other eye to open and see that there was no one there before I could truly wake up.

Considering that most of the time I dream in the third person and am not even in my own dream, it was a really weird experience.


On the up side, your new computer accessories sound shiny except for your unreliable new mouse. I find wired input devices mroe reliable than wireless ones, which is why the blutooth keyboard and mouse that came with my media box are collecting dust.

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