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May 26th, 2005


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12:24 am - J.J. Abrams, You Psychotic Motherfucker
First, my covers post at audiography has been absurdly well received (it's "fantastic" and a "treasure trove"!), so if you like covers, head on over there and download to your heart's content.

Now, on to J.J. Abrams and his Cliffhangers of DOOOOOOOM!!

Lost was great. I love any episode where I say "Fuck!" or "Holy fuck!" several times.

Arzt being the voice of the audience, recognizing the little clique of main characters who ignore the rest of the survivors. In perhaps some sort of meta statement, he gets blown up. Good job, Arzt. The island brought you here to blow you up.

That boat had slaves? How the fuck long has it been there?!

Hurley really should have offered to carry the dynamite, since he's protected.

The Danielle shit was great. She came back to steal Claire's fucking baby and trade it. Damn. Also, I hate Charlie. You're the pathetic one, you junkie. Also, having a gun wouldn't have done a goddamn thing because you were with Sayid when she took the baby, you ass. That being said, Charlie was responsible for yet another "Fuck!" when they came across the plane. And Sayid flashes the neon sign of "DRUGS! DRUGS! DRUGS!" That's dramatic irony, folks!

And shit, the security system crap was crazy. What was that weird shadowy thing? Is Nightcrawler on the damn island? And then the exploding ground squirrels attacked and Locke was scared this time. None of this "I looked into the eye of the island, and it was beautiful" business. Crazy intense fun right there.

The Jack/Locke conflict finally comes to a very overt head, as Jack realizes Locke is kind of nutty. You may not believe in fate, Jack, but fate believes in you! And speaking of fate, poor doomed Hurley. Fate tried not to, it tried not to, but you wouldn't go away! Gate 23.

Loved that the numbers reveal was identical to the original hatch reveal. It's always about a flashlight. And then Hurley went completely batshit, like maybe he was in that mental institution, huh? That was kind of creepy and I was afraid he'd get blowed up.

And the hatch leads to...a broken ladder down to the heart of the island. Your plan sucks, Locke! You can't fit everyone in there! So, who's going down first? Hurley can't fit. He'll stay and guard the leftover dynamite.

Meanwhile, Shannon loves Sayid again because he's hot when he's wet.

And the raft people! OMG THE RAFT PEOPLE. Have Michael and Sawyer had this much interaction before? That was interesting. And holy God, the radar! No, don't use the damn flare, you don't what it is! Don't waste the fuckin fl—fine. See, look it went awa—well fuck. It's probably some dino—shit, it's a boat. Well, it's probably full of evil pe—no, wait, I was right. But the fuck did they want with Walt?! Did they know he has special powers? Is there some sort of black market for little black kids? Is he going to be a kiddie whore? What the hell is going on and OMG THEY BLEW UP THE FUCKING RAFT. They'd better not be dead, cause that would suck. And shit, the people on the island have no idea. Aaaaaah!!

So I thought it was great, and I'm tired of everyone whining and bitching about not getting answers, because I never even notice whether or not things are answered or not; I'm enjoying the fucking ride. I ask for entertainment and plot advancement, and I got it. It's not the destination that matters but the journey, and I'm having a hell of a lot of fun on this journey.

But what of Alias? Well, J.J. totally saw 28 Days Later.

Hey, look, it's the One Horse of the Apocalypse!

It was a fun and exciting episode, with the Rambaldi prophecy coming to fruition in kind of a twisted way. Because Rambaldi's message was "peace," and the contaminated water was supposed to bring about peace, but then the Big Red Ball hijacked the peace and turned it into violence.

jeeperstseepers brings up this awesome point, though. Sloane always drank from his own water, his own pitcher or water bottle. Because he didn't want to be contaminated.

Jack Bristow. Holy crap. Torture is fun. He really fucking enjoys it. And Irina shot her sister in the head. And Sloane shot Nadia. There was a lot of shooting. But Sydney saved the world, yay.

But then the end. Haaaaa, the end. I doubt J.J. thought of this at the beginning, and I'm sure it will be something silly to be resolved before the credits of the first episode next season, but still. My heart almost skipped a beat when they were hit by the car. That was brutal shit, it looked like they sped up the film or something.

What's Michael Vaughn's real name? Albus Dumbledore? Keyser Soze? Sidney Bristow?
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
Current Music: Lo-Pro - Sunday
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(31 memoirs | Describe me as "inscrutable")

Comments:


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[User Picture]
From:kibarika
Date:May 26th, 2005 04:27 am (UTC)
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His real name is "Hot English Teacher Guy from Never Been Kissed." His parents were verbose people.
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From:lonesomepioneer
Date:May 26th, 2005 04:33 am (UTC)
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I'm still bitter about Lost, because I am one of those people who would like some fucking answers every once in awhile thank you very much, but I'll admit this episode had its moments. I called the "Walt is 'the child' they're coming for, not Turniphead, and oh yeah, THAT BOAT IS EVIL" bit a mile away, but still... kah-reepy.

Shannon has officially won me over. I don't know where Maggie Grace's acting skills have been for the past season, but I'm glad they got back before the season ended. She broke my heart every time she was onscreen.

Conversely, I am so over Locke. First of all, he apparently has NO remorse over Boone's death, or ambivalence over the island's human-sacrificing ways. Second... "Yes you do! You just don't know it yet." Nice comeback, Locke. Next time:

Sayid: Why are we following this man? He is deranged!
Locke: I know you are... *penetrating stare* but what am I?
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:May 26th, 2005 04:54 am (UTC)
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I called the "Walt is 'the child' they're coming for, not Turniphead, and oh yeah, THAT BOAT IS EVIL" bit a mile away, but still... kah-reepy.
I called the evil boat, but dude, whoa! You think they were The Others? I didn't even think of that! That makes more sense than kiddie whoredom.

Shannon has officially won me over. I don't know where Maggie Grace's acting skills have been for the past season, but I'm glad they got back before the season ended. She broke my heart every time she was onscreen.
Yeah, she was really good tonight.

Conversely, I am so over Locke. First of all, he apparently has NO remorse over Boone's death, or ambivalence over the island's human-sacrificing ways.
I was over Locke back when he became all self-righteous about what everyone needed, but I think he's won me over again since then because he's just so batshit. He's so obsessed with the island and why they're there, and as I've said, I love the Jack/Locke dynamic. So I certainly don't like him, but I find him interesting.

Second... "Yes you do! You just don't know it yet." Nice comeback, Locke.
Ha, yeah, seriously. I thought about that and whether it made any sense. It makes a modicum of sense. Which is enough for Locke and his "Locke knows best" attitude.
[User Picture]
From:kiwikazoo
Date:May 26th, 2005 04:36 am (UTC)
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Hee, I'm see I'm not the only one posting about cliffhangers tonight, although I've had enough of being jerked around and wasn't impressed by JJ and his shit.

Arzt being the voice of the audience, recognizing the little clique of main characters who ignore the rest of the survivors. In perhaps some sort of meta statement, he gets blown up. Good job, Arzt. The island brought you here to blow you up.

I turned around for five seconds to drain the spaghetti I was making and totally missed it the first time! I thought his comments were a little too meta. Or maybe they were reading your post about background characters on Lost and how they need to be more like Oz. Shout-out! Hee.

I read somewhere that Dom Monaghan said Hurley got the best one-liner of the season in this ep. Nothing jumped out at me... anyone else have ideas?

What's Michael Vaughn's real name? Albus Dumbledore? Keyser Soze? Sidney Bristow?

And if his name's not Michael Vaughn, then why was he chasing after his dead father Bill Vaughn? I'm confused. This had better not set up another stupid arc like the beginning of last season or I'll be cheesed. Alias was really getting good again. Maybe it alternates between awesome seasons and stupid ones.
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From:alliterator
Date:May 26th, 2005 07:06 am (UTC)
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I read somewhere that Dom Monaghan said Hurley got the best one-liner of the season in this ep. Nothing jumped out at me... anyone else have ideas?
"You got some Arzt on you." I bet it was that.
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From:cleapet
Date:May 26th, 2005 04:51 am (UTC)
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Yeah, I totally thought Arzt was meta, and almost thought he was supposed to represent TWoP-ites, because one of his lines to Hurley was verbatim a line that was apparently oft-repeated on the forum. And then he blowed up.

I was unimpressed with the rest. Sorry, dude. Maybe if they hadn't telegraphed stuff a few minutes before it happened, like the Others being after Walt instead of Aaron. *yawn* But at least I'm free, I lasted the season and now I'm done. Yay!

I am curious as to why the main speaker on the Others' boat was wearing a rubber face mask a'la Alias, or at least a lot of prosthetic makeup. That was not the real face talking, I'm positive.
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From:spectralbovine
Date:May 26th, 2005 04:57 am (UTC)
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Maybe if they hadn't telegraphed stuff a few minutes before it happened, like the Others being after Walt instead of Aaron.
See, I didn't even realize they were the Others. I just thought they were random badniks out looking for kiddie whores. Which is why it was so unexpected.
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From:windthebird
Date:May 26th, 2005 05:18 am (UTC)
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Dude. So not impressed with the Lost finale. There were moments, sure, but pretty much the prevailing thought when it all ended was, "What a waste of two hours." But then again, I pretty much abandoned the Lost train two-thirds of the way in, say right around "Numbers."

The Others on the boat were pretty obvious, and it was just sooo convenient that they happened to get everyone off the boat (shooting Sawyer, throwing Michael off) before they exploded it. I'm glad they weren't after Aaron (my first thought was, "Another evil Aaron in another season finale?"), since I've had enough of Claire screaming, "My baby! They're after my baby!" and it was kind of cool how they wanted Walt. But the uber-long scraggly beards that clearly take years to grow convinced me there was no way they weren't evil.

I agree, everything was telegraphed way in advance. As soon as they say something was important, there it went. The rudder is the most important part of the boat? Oops, there it goes. You breathe a sigh of relief at safely removing the super-duper-dangerous dynamite? Kablooey.

Did you catch the oodles of Hoyay whenever Michael interacted with Jin and Sawyer?

Maggie Grace was good.

All in all, I felt it was another trademark JJ finale. The music was almost exactly like Alias, with pensive stares and tension-filled moments galore. Still, if the rest of the season were more like tonight, I might have more patience with the show.
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From:windthebird
Date:May 26th, 2005 06:00 am (UTC)
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Okay, Alias just finished.

HA! I loved the ending. So I say again, HA!
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From:snoopypez
Date:May 26th, 2005 05:24 am (UTC)
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Hurley really should have offered to carry the dynamite, since he's protected.

WHEE! I totally said that too. :D

Fate tried not to, it tried not to, but you wouldn't go away!

BWAAAHAHAHA!
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From:comedownstairs
Date:May 26th, 2005 06:00 am (UTC)
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I feel like I'm in the minority of people who actually liked the Lost finale. But I did. Ha.

There was a buncha Hurley and crazy people and we're finding stuff out with the numbers and Sayid was wet and Saywer was wet and kid's all kidnapped and Daniel Roebuck went boom and Jin's finally getting English lines and Kate didn't have time to be too annoying and Maggie Grace is lovely and I've been saying all season that she was better than people expected and I'm in love with this show. As for answers, I trust in JJ. Dude, I watched Buffy for all seven seasons. I watched Farscape for four. I know how to put my faith in the producers to finalize things as long as they make the ride fun. *nods*
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From:electricmonk
Date:May 26th, 2005 06:28 am (UTC)
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OH MY GOD ALIAS.
I didn't care about any of it until the last two seconds. Zombies, whatever, averted apocalypse, whatever, but if they kill off Vaughn I swear to GOD.
Seriously, though, I read somewhere that Jennifer Garner wanted Vartan off the show, because doing love scenes with her ex was too weird. My guess is that the accident leaves him seriously disfigured, he needs a face transplant (or some Alias-style DNA reconfiguration shit), and he comes back as Ben Affleck.
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From:alliterator
Date:May 26th, 2005 07:11 am (UTC)
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Lost is all about how much shit can happen that will be unexplained. So I never ask for answers, knowing that I'll never get them. The only time I was pissed was when the showed that inside the hatch was... more hatch. Yeah. I expected something more... cliffhangery.

Like Alias's ending. Awesome. You go "What's the big secret? Wait, you're name isn't Michae.... AHHHHHHH FUCKING SHIT FUCK MOTHERFUCKER!!!!" Now that was a cliffhanger.

Didn't hate the Lost finale, but it didn't seem... finaleish to me. Just like it was another episode, but extra long.
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From:foresthouse
Date:May 26th, 2005 07:16 am (UTC)
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None of this "I looked into the eye of the island, and it was beautiful" business.

WORD.

DUDE. Destiny believes in you, Jack! We both thought it.

And Sayid IS hot when he's wet. And at other times. Alll other times. Don't knock it, it's true ;) *points to icon*
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From:sterope
Date:May 26th, 2005 07:28 am (UTC)
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I'm still reeling from Lost. As usual, I agree with pretty much everything you said. I love the ride! I don't care that we didn't really get many "answers," but we sure got more juicy wonderful questions! Walt is "the boy" that "the others" told "Danielle" that they were coming for. However, what the hell they plan on "doing" with him is something I have no idea about. The Nightcrawler thing (I called it the scary wisp cloud of doom) is terrifying. Why does it make a mechanical noise? I love how the hatch plan um... blew up in their faces. ;) Now where will they go? Are they even in danger from "the others" now that they have Walt? Who the fuck are "the others???" I love it! I haven't watched Alias yet, but I'm going to because my friend told me what happened on the last episode and it sounds pretty awesome. Shannon loves Sayid again because he's hot when he's wet. And so do I! Hahaha.
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From:funky_donut
Date:May 26th, 2005 07:37 am (UTC)
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Alias: OMFG! I thought the basic episode was kinda weird and disjointed. I wasn't very impressed with EvilNadia. I love Irina Derevko.

But the end? HOLY FUCKING SHIT! I literally jumped a foot in the air. That was totally whack.

Lost: Meh. I enjoyed it, for the most part. But I got really annoyed when it was after dark, when The Others were supposed to arrive at sundown, and Jack and Locke were still having their loooong conversation IN THE DARK. Like, hello, boys? You were supposed to be back by now. Let's shake a leg.

I definitely think the boat people were the Others, and they left that signal fire burning to find their way back to their part of the island while they went for a little cruise, lookin' for little boys.

Oh, and HoYay? Michael and Sawyer on the boat? Hells yeah! When Michael pulled him out of the water...whew. HoYaylicious.
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From:inigo
Date:May 26th, 2005 11:40 am (UTC)
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Okay, I'm posting whilst avoiding looking at anything (whilst listening to A Perfect Circle's Imagine). All I want to know re Lost is this - can VM fans still say that our show is better because it actually resolves things?
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:May 26th, 2005 02:37 pm (UTC)
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Yes.
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From:unseenlibrarian
Date:May 26th, 2005 12:41 pm (UTC)
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See, I don't think we were supposed to take Arzt's clique claim seriously. Or at least, not completely seriously. I mean, really. "Best Driftwood for her shelter?"

But then, my notion of the show may be skewed because I'm pretty sure J.J. Abrams is basically filming an online text-based RPG, right down to the character dynamics.


[User Picture]
From:areacode212
Date:May 26th, 2005 01:39 pm (UTC)
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I plan on catching up with Lost sometime this summer, so I only saw Alias. While the car scene was going on, I was thinking to myself, "What will JJ pull out of his ass this time?", then Vaughn answered me with his little mysterious secret. Eh....whatever. The car crash itself was pretty cool, though. I hope it killed off Vaughn! Mia Maestro has never done much for me, but I thought Zombie Nadia was hot. I hope she keeps that look.

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