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Debt in Venice - The Book of the Celestial Cow

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March 28th, 2007


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07:46 pm - Debt in Venice
Dear Polter-Cow,

We are pleased to inform you that you are now debt-free. You did not have nearly the burden that others do, since your parents paid for college and your dad paid the unsubsidized portion of the loan for your last semester of grad school. You only had a mere eight thousand dollars to worry about, which you were paying off slowly and gradually. Then, you got a job, and you worked for close to a month straight, and you used that overtime pay to knock down your principal. You celebrated the new year by once again knocking down your principal. Then you discovered that you had not cashed a paycheck from the previous year, and since you had not even realized you had that money to begin with, you knocked down your principal once again. By this time, you were becoming antsy, as you had in been in repayment for a year, which meant that the loan had served its benefit to your credit rating. You increased your monthly payments in an effort to more quickly rid yourself of having to pay hundreds of dollars in interest.

Since you save more than you ought to and don't spend enough, you had the funds to pay off the loan entirely but were afraid of losing your security blanket. Then came your substantial tax refund, which you resolved to once again use to knock down your principal balance, but that tactic subsequently inspired you to pay off the loan entirely, since you were financially able to, and the interest you were paying was just wasted money.

In an amusing coincidence, your annual bonus was almost equal to your tax refund, and together, they were just about enough to pay off your loan. You also received an infinitesimal raise due to the fact that you were only officially an employee for three months in 2006, so how could you possibly deserve a decent raise at this time? Take comfort in the fact that you received stock options and restricted stock, which, in the future, can be turned into money. Next year, your monetary rewards should be much greater.

As we said earlier, our records show that you no longer have a student loan hanging over you. The only debt you currently have to worry about is your massive credit card bill, inflated by car repair and auto insurance. We wish you luck in your future endeavors.

Love,
The World

P.S. The government is a little slow and took out $150 on your due date despite the fact that they had just received your payoff amount. Rather than give it back to you, they're going to sit on it for two or three months and then give it back.

P.P.S. Also, you overpaid by seven dollars. Look for that in two or three months, too. Buy yourself a sandwich.

P.P.P.S. Wait until you get married, have kids, and buy a house. You'll be fucked.
Current Mood: pleasedpleased
Current Music: MC Lars - 21 Concepts

(44 memoirs | Describe me as "inscrutable")

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:sabra_n
Date:March 29th, 2007 02:52 am (UTC)
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Congratulations! (she said, bitterly looking at 10 years of payments in the future...)

-blue
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:March 29th, 2007 02:54 am (UTC)
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Yeah, that seems to be most people's reaction to this news. Heh.
[User Picture]
From:glasseseater
Date:March 29th, 2007 03:03 am (UTC)
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i hate you.

not really.

well, maybe.
[User Picture]
From:schnappycat
Date:March 29th, 2007 03:04 am (UTC)
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Congrats!
[User Picture]
From:towers_of_ivory
Date:March 29th, 2007 03:11 am (UTC)
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Awesome.
Yeah, don't buy a house! Ever! Or get married! Come drink lattes in Paris with me and be selfish, selfish, selfish!
xoxoxoxo
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:March 29th, 2007 03:14 am (UTC)
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I've never had a latte!
[User Picture]
From:jeeperstseepers
Date:March 29th, 2007 10:52 am (UTC)
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Seven dollars will get you TWO lattes at an expensive coffee shop! Forget the sandwich!
[User Picture]
From:kerrypolka
Date:March 29th, 2007 03:15 am (UTC)
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Congratulations! :)
[User Picture]
From:latropita
Date:March 29th, 2007 03:25 am (UTC)
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Congratulations! (I say having not yet experienced the joy of debt)
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:March 29th, 2007 03:31 am (UTC)
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It is not joyous! It is dumb! You're like, "Here is my monthly payment." And they're like, "Thanks! We'll put this toward your principal and use this for the interest." And you're like, "Wait, wait! No, put it all toward the principal! That's the sum that's causing me interest in the first place!" And they're like, "Right, but we want the interest now." And you're like, "Can't I just pay all the interest at the end? If I just paid the principal, this process would go a lot faster, wouldn't you say?" And they're like, "Faster for you means less money for us!"
[User Picture]
From:latropita
Date:March 29th, 2007 03:48 am (UTC)
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Dude, that does not sound awesome. It doesn't even make sense! It is senseless! Being an adult sounds like it sucks, man. First you tell me there aren't hijinx after college, and now I'm putting money into an endless black hole!

But at least you don't have to have roommates, so that's pretty sweet.
[User Picture]
From:sjester
Date:March 29th, 2007 03:40 am (UTC)
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Congratulations.

Ugh, I have to start paying mine in June. Which means I need a job that lasts more than three weeks.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:March 29th, 2007 03:44 am (UTC)
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Jobs help. You might be able to defer if you don't have one.
[User Picture]
From:zimshan
Date:March 29th, 2007 04:03 am (UTC)
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I so do not look forward to this.
[User Picture]
From:denisef
Date:March 29th, 2007 04:13 am (UTC)
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Congrats! You will be fucked once you get married and have kids, though. Trust me. ;)
[User Picture]
From:shpyum
Date:March 29th, 2007 04:24 pm (UTC)
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Your icon is amazing.
[User Picture]
From:beathen
Date:March 29th, 2007 04:51 am (UTC)
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Congratulations on paying off your loan! I can't wait until that happens to me!
[User Picture]
From:jeeperstseepers
Date:March 29th, 2007 10:54 am (UTC)
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The World writes good letters!
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:punzerel
Date:March 29th, 2007 11:57 am (UTC)
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Yay! That's so awesome. *not looking forward to taking out grad school loans*
[User Picture]
From:pidgehuss
Date:March 29th, 2007 12:03 pm (UTC)
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That is SUPER AWESOME! I, too, do not have crippling student loans, I have roughly $16K total to pay ol' Sallie. (I went to grad school for free, because OSU had a sweet internship program in my field, though they've restricted it quite a bit now and made it infinitely harder to get a tuition waiver. Though, living on an intern's salary did put me into deep credit-card debt, but that I'm almost done with and am only putting off paying the last bit because I have a pair of jeans to return to the Gap that I bought with that credit card and I want to get that money back, pay it off, move my money from the attached bank account into my new bank account that earns interest and then close everything having to do with Chase. Which...all hinges on me driving myself to a Gap store. That is utterly sad, I'm aware.)

Baaaack on track. So, yay, even though you have about half as much debt as I did, I am please to see it didn't take you years and years to pay it off. I've been putting double or triple the amount of the payment in each month, as I can afford to (read: it's a hell of a lot easier now that I have an income again), and once I'm done with my credit card, I can put the surplus money towards that. Not that paying $700 or $800 a month will really help me kill the loan that quickly, but I'll do what I can in the meantime.

I'm curious, how did you get them to pay your principal down? Had you just gone through all of the accumulated interest at that point? I have quite a bit of interest to get through still, before I even touch my principal. Can you pay a sum to reduce the principal? My fiancee is selling his car, since we only ever use one at any given time anyway (also, public transportation in Columbus is tricky, but certainly useable for work), and he wants to use that money to go towards my student loan, since that's our only substantial debt (...THUS FAR). Any advice you have on this principal thing would be super.

So, in conclusion: Yay for you! I talk about my own damn finances way too much to people who couldn't possibly be interested! Wait, does getting married mean you're fucked? (Other than the obvious...heh.) Or just kids and a house? Cause I think I'm not bringing any tiny children into the world for a few years. Hmmm. Also, more yay for you-ness!
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:March 29th, 2007 02:57 pm (UTC)
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I'm curious, how did you get them to pay your principal down?
This is the trick: schedule your payment for the day after your monthly payment. Interest is calculated based on how long it's been since your last payment. So if you pay a hundred bucks for your monthly payment, thirty bucks will go to interest, which sucks. But, if the very next day, you drop in a thousand bucks, only a dollar will go to interest, meaning the rest knocks down your principal. Ta da!

If your loan doesn't work that way, then I don't know what to do.
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:daynr
Date:March 29th, 2007 01:48 pm (UTC)
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Very Nice.
You should share all you non-spending know-how.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:March 29th, 2007 02:58 pm (UTC)
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There isn't much know-how involved. I'm just a cheap bastard, mostly.
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From:loopychew
Date:March 29th, 2007 03:17 pm (UTC)
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Awesome! Congrats! (He said, having done work-study to make his university affordable.)
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From:ivyisgilgamesh
Date:March 29th, 2007 03:25 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, rub it in asshole.
*smiles* *bats eyes*
Just kidding. Congrats. I know how much it sucks having debt, to pay it off is magical, well in theory I just keep coming up with more debt. But one day.... I too will have a house and kids and a husband and then more debt. Let us live together in youthful bliss!! Huzzah!
[User Picture]
From:geekgirl84
Date:March 29th, 2007 03:51 pm (UTC)
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Love it! I recently paid off my school debt, too--early because my parents also funded most of my college experience (and paid the interest on those unsubsudized loans!). It feesl good. But yeah, those pesky car payments . . .
[User Picture]
From:gymble
Date:March 29th, 2007 04:03 pm (UTC)
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Yay! No debt is a good thing. At some point we'll have to pay off the little bit that Jeff owes Harvard, but it's only $2000. Let's hear it for grad school deferments. So how much does not paying it off in one lump sum help your credit rating? Because I can't decide whether it makes more sense for us to just hand them all of it at once or to pay it off in installments. I guess partly this depends on the interest.

Wait until you get married, have kids, and buy a house.
*giggles evilly*
No, no, getting married means you have two salaries and earn even more money. But yeah, kids and a house will take it all away. Especially kids. You're already paying rent, which is like a mortgage only suckier.

Oh, and there's no such thing as not spending enough. Unless you don't have plates. Ahem.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:March 29th, 2007 05:29 pm (UTC)
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So how much does not paying it off in one lump sum help your credit rating?
I have no clue. I only know that student loan interest is the only good interest there is.

No, no, getting married means you have two salaries and earn even more money.
Well, that's if my wife works, which I'm not sure will be the case. We Indians know women are only good for cooking and cleaning, after all.

Unless you don't have plates. Ahem.
DUDE. THEY WORK. They've been called "dishes" for my entire life, so suck it!
[User Picture]
From:gymble
Date:March 29th, 2007 05:40 pm (UTC)
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I'm going to drag you to Bed, Bath, & Beyond one of these days. Having full sets of silverware, glasses, plates, and bowls is not a crime.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:March 29th, 2007 06:00 pm (UTC)
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I have silverware and glasses and bowls! My "plates" may not CONFORM TO YOUR STANDARDS, but I've got the other stuff!
[User Picture]
From:gymble
Date:March 29th, 2007 07:55 pm (UTC)
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Pbbbbbbbt.
[User Picture]
From:shpyum
Date:March 29th, 2007 04:27 pm (UTC)
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I'll be super-excited for you once I get over being bitter. I promise.

(I'd be paying mine off more quickly if I were cheaper. But I love food. And pretty dresses. *sigh*)
[User Picture]
From:ivyisgilgamesh
Date:March 29th, 2007 04:39 pm (UTC)
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Never apologize for loving food and pretty dresses. Think of it this way, you make debt look goooooooood.
[User Picture]
From:shpyum
Date:March 29th, 2007 05:23 pm (UTC)
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I am not really sorry about it. And also, I'm a crazy bargain shopper. I think today I paid full price for my whole outfit, which is unheard of for me, but I still paid, oh, all of $35 for it. So. I am the pretty dress rockstar, basically.

Also I can only be a tiny bit bitter at anyone who references my old friend Thomas Mann.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:March 29th, 2007 05:30 pm (UTC)
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I am all about making references to great works of literature I haven't even read.
[User Picture]
From:shpyum
Date:March 29th, 2007 06:29 pm (UTC)
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I haven't read it either, but I did read every. single. word. of Joseph and His Brothers, and now Mann commands my undying respect for having written a 1400 page novel without a single extraneous word. No no, writing a 1400 page novel, retelling a basically universally known myth, without a single extraneous word and NEVER ONCE EDITING. What's that I hear? Is that every other mythographer on the planet weeping queitly into their coffee? It is. And I weep right along with them.

We should have a Death in Venice reading group. In which we draw parallels between Mann and Avatar, and discuss the use of symbols in both Mann and VM.

Edited because if I owe a creative writing program $25,000 I should know the difference between write and right.
[User Picture]
From:bspalek
Date:March 29th, 2007 04:36 pm (UTC)
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Yay! That is really exciting. Congrats. =)

[User Picture]
From:meghatron
Date:March 29th, 2007 06:24 pm (UTC)
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P.P.P.S. Wait until you get married, have kids, and buy a house. You'll be fucked.

Tell me about it.

*looks at her mortgage balance*

*cries*
[User Picture]
From:rachelmack
Date:March 29th, 2007 06:56 pm (UTC)
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Screw you, and your financial solvency. :P
[User Picture]
From:soleta_nf
Date:March 29th, 2007 07:25 pm (UTC)
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Aw, what wonderful news. And such a loving letter! Thanks world. I can't wait to get my letter. I think, and the world will agree, that won't be for a long while yet.
[User Picture]
From:kimmydoll
Date:March 29th, 2007 07:48 pm (UTC)
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Wanna know how I justify the house & kids?

House = long-term investment that will build equity (especially if you secured a good rate AND you're in a market that will grow, which you are in since you live in Northern CA), so paying the mortgage is like paying yourself, really.

Kids = long-term investment that will increase your chances of not dying lonely and depressed in some cheap nursing home. This is not guaranteed, obviously - if you're a bastard to your kids the chances drop considerably. Oh, and you might hit the jackpot and one of your kids can be the next Bill Gates. It could happen.

Debt sucks, but credit is, after all, the American way - and you seem to have learned how to master it. I think the main thing is just having a good sense of fiscal responsibility, which you definitely have.

Congrats!
[User Picture]
From:miniglik
Date:March 29th, 2007 11:04 pm (UTC)
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Yay debt-free... -ness. Woo!


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