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Those Aren't Rapist Shoes! - The Book of the Celestial Cow

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October 3rd, 2006


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12:47 am - Those Aren't Rapist Shoes!
Before I get to the Monday night television, I have some fun links for you all! See, we (helpmeveronica.com) developed all these extra bonus videos as a reward for solving the Codemaster's devious puzzles. Of course, only like five people bothered to stick with it long enough, and it seemed like a waste to hide them behind a barrier most people wouldn't make the effort to break through, so now everyone gets them for free. Except for the credits. You actually have to play to see the credits. Just like any other game.

  • A Special Message from Rob Thomas: I got Rob to record a little congratulatory message for the few, the brave, the hearst_helpers. It's worth it for the hilarious face he makes at the end.
  • Who doesn't love a good head-shaving video? That is a rhetorical question. Because everyone loves to watch someone get their head shaved. In this case, that person is jadelynx.
  • Presented by Dr. Von Wolfhausen: alliterator is weird. That's...really all I can say about this one.
  • Veronica Mars meets Clue: That's how it COULD have happened! But how about this? Warning: contains major spoilers for the first two seasons!
  • HMV Gag Reel: Gag reels are always funny. Especially when alliterator randomly inserts a Homestar Runner parody in it. And you can hear me curse!

    We start the night off with Prison Break, which sort of hilariously put into the text discussions I'd been having with people like miniglik. Linc and Michael specifically talk about how Michael is a total control freak, and how what freaks him out is the fact that his plan is getting out of his hands. And Michael straight-up admits how much he needs to be able to control the situation. It was kind of cool to get that shit out in the open. And then Sucre! "I'm not a good guy." I loved that moment! That's what I am loving about this show. We already had Oz, which was deliberately a maximum security prison with, like, the baddest of the bad all trying to kill each other. But Sucre did a little robbery. Tweener stole a fucking baseball card. These guys aren't hardened criminals, but they're on the damn run, and they're being forced into fucked-up situations, and Westmoreland said there's no such thing as an ex-con, and Michael realizes that you can't go home again. I don't know why I'm finding this all so fascinating, but it's tapping into issues of identity, which I love.

    Sarah Wayne Callies is SO VERY PRETTY. It's kind of unreal.

    Also: aaah!! They faked us out! "Oh, they killed the Governor, har har. That's the death for this episode." But then: Tweener! Who was loyal to the end awww.

    And then came Heroes! Which, dude! I mean, I guess it's best just to take them by character, huh?

    Nathan and Peter: Nice scene with the mother, and, having a brother myself, I like seeing brotherly interaction. It was cute when Peter found out he could fly too. Even if the effects were kind of bad.

    Nikki: Holy crap! She is climbing the list of favorite characters now! Now that it's much clearer that she's totally got this freaky-ass split personality that's cutting people in half and cleaning up after her and leaving her special messages and HOW COOL IS THAT? And how freaked-out would you be if one second you were looking at your video camera and then the next you were holding a cell phone. In a random parking lot. Wearing different clothes. I have to interpret the mirror!Nikki as a psychological manifestation because mutant genes really don't cover that sort of thing.

    Claire: Are they going to kill Claire every week? Because that could either get really funny or really old. I had trouble believing that some high school football player could knock into her with enough force to twist her head around. Is she elastic too? The sad thing about Claire is that although she's invulnerable, she doesn't have superhuman strength! How lame is that?

    I love her response to why she needs to find her birth parents. "...what they can do...Like hobbies and skills." HA. And oh my God, I thought they were going to drag out the thing with her EVIL DAD, but he already knows. Oh, this is delicious. And creepy.

    Isaac: Dude needs to get out of his frickin' trance because he's obviously integrally important to the fate of humanity.

    Mohinder: Poor Indian dude with no superpowers. Why does the Indian guy have to be normal, huh?? I will admit that it made me irrationally happy that the show has an important Indian character who's not a stereotype. And he gets to deliver the voiceovers that everyone hates!

    The exterminator scene was well done because I totally believed him at first, and then there were just these looks that went between the two of them, and the whole atmosphere changed. It was cool.

    I like the new Love Interest/Source of Important Plot Information. She's cute. Hell, she sort of looks like Tweener's girlfriend.

    I try to look past the fact that the whole "genome" stuff doesn't make any sense. Just look at the pretty computer screen with its fancy numbers that apparently pinpoint new genetic mutations because apparently everyone's genetic code gets magically uploaded to the Internet or something!

    But, dude. That answering machine message was freaky. With Sylar, the MUTANT SERIAL KILLER OF DOOOOOOOM. Which leads us to:

    Whatever the hell Greg Grunberg's character's name is: Clea Duvall! Bonus! And random telepathy, which is always a good time. And people being stuck to the wall with forks. And heads being lopped off. I was surprised how fucking gruesome they were allowed to be. I didn't know you could show that shit on network TV.

    Hiro: Okay, so I saw the comic book thing in the promos and thought it was cool, and, once again, I was surprised that they actually explained it so quickly. And of course it's Isaac, because he paints the future! Okay, I was sort of hoping the comic book thing was going to be more awesome, like God was writing comics or something, especially because Isaac doesn't seem like the sort of guy who would be slumming in the comic book world. But, see, this is how Hiro's story works in this episode.

    Holy crap, they killed off Isaac already? But...I thought he was going to be important! Like, he had to paint the future for everyone and stuff. And his head is sliced open, fuuuuuck. Oh my God, that means it was Sylar! Wait, what is this guy talking about five weeks? WHY ARE YOU LYING TO THE COPS, YOU ASSHOLE? WHY IS THERE A MISSING POSTER? IS THIS SOME SORT OF OFFICE JOKE? And then, wait, what, it's November 8, huh, and Nathan totally wins the election, and hold on, fuck, OH MY FUCKING GOD IT'S THE FUCKING APOCALYPSE HIRO GET OUT OF THERE AND HOLY GOD HE WENT FIVE WEEKS INTO THE FUTURE.

    And now I am sort of flailing at the awesomeness. Because these bitches gave us five weeks to stop the goddamn apocalypse. With a timespan that short, they won't get away with dragging this out for years. They're going to have to start working on that shit now. I don't know what the hell people were talking about saying everything progressed sloooooooowly because it seemed to me like an awful lot of major plot developments popped up much earlier than I'd expected them to. This show is hella cool.

    Studio 60, on the other hand, is not hella cool. Why is it so boring?

    miniglik: *snooze* *lecture viewing audience* *snooze* *plan skit that's not very funny* *snooze* *ha! funny line of dialogue!* *snooze*

    That sort of sums up the first half of the episode nicely, although it got better in the second half. I've begun warming up to some of the other characters. I'm liking Danny more, and for some reason, Sarah Paulson looked really pretty tonight, and I suddenly found her character more interesting and entertaining. Because I'm shallow. Cal is still pretty awesome.

    I know I asked to see more of the actual show. And, um, oops? Because the actual show isn't all that funny. Sitting through the whole "Science, Schmience!" rehearsal was sort of painful. The montage of the actual airing was a little more successful because we only saw snippets of the show and just heard the audience clapping and loving it, which was at least a better way of telling us the show is brilliantly funny.

    The ACTUAL show, though, is very funny sometimes! Which annoys me, because I'd rather just give up on the show entirely. I'm clearly not seeing what everyone else is seeing. It's not grabbing me, yet it's giving everyone else blow jobs. Maybe I'm just not used to Sorkin's style of drama. It's not that it's bad, and that's the problem. There's all this good stuff mixed in with the boring. I like seeing some of the behind-the-scenes details, the ins and outs of running the show. I guess I'll stick with it, but it's certainly not entertaining me on Monday nights as much as Prison Break and Heroes are.
    Current Mood: giddyflaily
    Current Music: Crystal Method - Trip Like I Do
  • (61 memoirs | Describe me as "inscrutable")

    Comments:


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    From:hobviously
    Date:October 3rd, 2006 07:51 am (UTC)
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    Studio 60 is certainly not exemplary of what I like about Sorkin's style of drama, so...I think the lack of blowjobs is more widespread than you think.

    It's not, like, Bad. But it's also not good. It's neutral. It's so neutral that I watched the entire episode with a Googletalk box to peri_peteia open and said one, negative thing, to her in 42 minutes. It was like, in one eye and out the other or something. There's no spark.

    Snooze.
    [User Picture]
    From:spectralbovine
    Date:October 3rd, 2006 07:56 am (UTC)
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    Yeah, I mean, where's the pizzazz?? This makes me not as keen on checking out The West Wing.

    I'd still rather watch this than, say, Six Degrees, but still.
    [User Picture]
    From:miniglik
    Date:October 3rd, 2006 08:08 am (UTC)
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    Okay, Mohindar may not have super powers, but he's, like, crazy hot -- so that makes up for a lot.

    And, to clarify, my summation of Studio 60 was from watching about 30 minutes of last week's episode and five to ten minutes of this week's episode. So I couldn't even tell you whether or not I agree about the second half being better. But as was said ^above^, I think there are less S60 blow jobs going around than you'd think. My f-list does not seem universally pleased.
    [User Picture]
    From:snoopypez
    Date:October 3rd, 2006 08:18 am (UTC)
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    I really like Studio 60. I do agree with you on that Science rehearsal though. ;P But then, I'm a huuuuge Matthew Perry fan and looove Nate Corddry. And I love all the humour and am reminded happily of Sports Night enough times to be happy. ;D

    Also, I kinda love that Dr. Von Wolfhausen video.
    [User Picture]
    From:alliterator
    Date:October 3rd, 2006 08:53 am (UTC)
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    Also, I kinda love that Dr. Von Wolfhausen video.
    Aw, thanks! I had the idea for a while, but I never had the courage to actually do it until the almost very end of the HMV. And then I randomly decided to film a Homestar Runner homage, too. I'm weird like that.
    [User Picture]
    From:alliterator
    Date:October 3rd, 2006 08:51 am (UTC)
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    Oh, I'm totally with you on Heroes and Studio 60. Because I thought I would like the latter more than the former, but it's totally the opposite. And Hiro is my hero.

    And I'm taking the weird thing as a compliment.
    (Deleted comment)
    [User Picture]
    From:jadelynx
    Date:October 3rd, 2006 01:32 pm (UTC)
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    But all we've done is rehash last week!

    Ah, but they rehashed AND added as they went. I thought it was a brilliant way to help people who only heard about the first episode get caught up. Nothing like a confusing plotline to keep people from watching.
    (Deleted comment)
    [User Picture]
    From:harper47
    Date:October 3rd, 2006 12:53 pm (UTC)
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    Heroes blew me away. Literally - I was gasping at the scenes with Hiro and Isaac and oh my God, it's now, it's now. What a kickass ending! I was yelling to my kids - you are all missing a terrific show.

    Love your character breakdown - I loved that we found the videotape of Claire right away and evil Dad had it. Hee! And Peter can fly! Yea! I would have been majorly pissed off if all he had was empathetic powers.

    I may be more coherent later but this show just blew me away. I could not believe the hour was up so quickly.

    And I still like Studio 60. I think part of it is the theatre geek in me. I know how all those dresses and rehearsals go and all the funny stuff sort of sucks but suddenly you're feeding on show energy and crowd reaction and things start building and it just all feels so real to me. And I am slowly becoming Matthew Perry's fangirl because every week he is blowing me away. Still not completely on the Amanda Peet train (hee on the your teeth are big? line)but she doesn't actively annoy me.

    I did think her subplot in the first half was boring. Anyway - I still love it - great night of tv. I just hated though that I was still reeling from Heroes and had to refocus so suddenly.

    I haven't been this excited about a new show since Buffy.
    [User Picture]
    From:eldritch_flame
    Date:October 3rd, 2006 01:25 pm (UTC)
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    I will admit that it made me irrationally happy that the show has an important Indian character who's not a stereotype. And he gets to deliver the voiceovers that everyone hates!
    And his voice is teh sex. Which makes the voiceovers so much more bearable.

    This week's Heroes was sooooo much better than last week's. I loved the bonus Clea Duval (I hope she's at least semi-regular), and I think Greg Grunberg's character is now challenging Hiro for position as my favorite. I'm still not really feeling the Claire love, though. She just doesn't connect with me. Although I do like the evil dad storyline. And I thought it went by quite fast, especially near the end.

    And I, too, loved the Dr. Von Wolfhausen thing, and the Clue whodunit bit.
    [User Picture]
    From:eirefaerie
    Date:October 3rd, 2006 01:39 pm (UTC)
    (Link)
    Prison Break: I KNOW OMG TWEENER AND GOVERNER DAD! And the KEY. And SARAH'S APARTMENT. And holy shit, does Magnificent Bastard Kellerman actually care whether Sarah lives or dies?? And Sucre's all "gimme the money!" and Mahone is eeeeeevil but it was good to get verification of that.

    Heroes: I am LOVING Heroes right now. LOVING. Although I'm a little suspicious of Cute Love Interest (you're right, she does look like Deborah Jean. the freckles! Why can't I look cute like that?) because, I dunno, she handled that gun pretty well. I don't know. Maybe I'm just going to be suspicious of everyone who isn't a hero or Suresh right now.

    okay they're moving my office and i have to go. back for more later.
    [User Picture]
    From:spectralbovine
    Date:October 3rd, 2006 02:23 pm (UTC)
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    And the KEY.
    WHAT IS THE KEY FOOOOOOOOR OMG?

    And SARAH'S APARTMENT.
    OH SHIT THEY'RE GOING TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN OD.

    And holy shit, does Magnificent Bastard Kellerman actually care whether Sarah lives or dies??
    OF COURSE HE DOES SHE'S SO PREEEEEEEEEEEEEETTY.

    And Sucre's all "gimme the money!"
    EVERYTHING HE DOES HE DOES IT FOR CUZ.
    [User Picture]
    From:beardoggx
    Date:October 3rd, 2006 01:51 pm (UTC)
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    Heroes was excellent(In fact, I watched it and taped the first hour of WWE Raw). My faves so far are Claire(who wouldn't want to have Wolverine's healing factor, only even stronger) and Hiro(who wouldn't want to teleport, travel through time).

    It was pretty cool(and weird) that Hiro not only teleported to NYC, but traveled five weeks into the future at the same time.

    Clea DuVall was in last night's episode? I'll have to re-watch, then, 'cause a)I didn't recognize her, and b)my attention was on the 'Net.

    I got into Heroes the same way I got into Veronica Mars, both are unique concepts.

    Greg Grunberg's character's name is Matt Parkman.
    [User Picture]
    From:spectralbovine
    Date:October 3rd, 2006 02:23 pm (UTC)
    (Link)
    Clea Duvall was the cop who arrested Greg Grunberg, who was working the case on Sylar.
    [User Picture]
    From:jadelynx
    Date:October 3rd, 2006 01:53 pm (UTC)
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    Heroes. Okay, the show was already on my Tivo Season Pass, but now it's gonna get a top spot in the priority settings. We ALWAYS give shows at least six episodes to hook us, because we are well aware that character building takes time and sometimes it can be boring, but Wow! Heroes managed to character build AND add to the story and do it entertainingly.

    I'm with you on the thrill of seeing the plot progress quickly. There are enough "mystery" shows on my season pass, I did NOT need to spend an entire season wondering what the hell was going on.

    I like that the Indian dude doesn't have powers, but rather is obviously going to the brains behind the good guys. This country has the worst habit of putting Indians in the rolls of dumb cab drivers or convenience store clerks. It's nice to see this show actually give the smartest role to someone who isn't even Indian-American, but flat out Indian. I'm hoping this means that their level of comedy will continue to be mature and they won't feel they have to stoop to idiotic stereotypes to find the laugh. It goes right hand in hand with the fact that I'm happy that a show finally has the ability to be an American show without having to be an all American cast.

    I had trouble believing that some high school football player could knock into her with enough force to twist her head around.

    I dunno, you'd be amazed at what football players can do. Obviously it was over dramatized, cause her head probably wouldn't have spun around quite that much, but I was willing to overlook that a bit cause it was SO DAMN COOL to watch it go back. :D

    I was surprised how fucking gruesome they were allowed to be. I didn't know you could show that shit on network TV.

    I'm very happy. :D Give me gruesome with a point over boring random sex anyday. ;) It was really shocking though cause it was completely unexpected. You are just sitting there thinking "Aw, man, someone's been shot." and then BAM! Was his head EMPTY? I made Troy back it up because I didn't think I'd really seen what I just saw. And sure enough, not only cut off but empty. ::shiver::

    Yeah, I'm very into this show now and I'm with ya, I don't see what was boring.

    Studio 60. I am not giving up on it, cause I don't have anything else in that time slot, but I'm not really loving it. It's not really cause they are doing any major character building, either. :/ They are just slow. And their scandals are kinda dull. I mean, sheesh. Celebs are pulled over for drunk driving all the time, what's the big deal? Seriously. Science Schmience was just dumb. Matthew Perry's character (whose name has not stuck with me for some reason) said that they didn't want to put "Psychiatry" up on the board because they'd see Tom Cruise and the joke would be over. But, the joke was over for me the second that Tom Cruise was up there. What else would he be up there to say Science Schmience to?

    Anyhow, I really need to learn to start writing this stuff out in my own journal. ROFL!


    [User Picture]
    From:spectralbovine
    Date:October 3rd, 2006 03:04 pm (UTC)
    (Link)
    You are just sitting there thinking "Aw, man, someone's been shot." and then BAM! Was his head EMPTY?
    And are the cops STUPID? "This man's head has been sliced open. THIS man has a gun! Clearly, he sliced this man's head open with the gun! Book him!"

    Matthew Perry's character (whose name has not stuck with me for some reason)
    Creatively enough, it's...Matt!
    [User Picture]
    From:incidentist
    Date:October 3rd, 2006 01:55 pm (UTC)
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    So you get Studio 60 on Mondays? We get it the night before. Maybe it's kinda stale by the time you get it.

    I agree about the Science Schmience and the show montage, though.
    [User Picture]
    From:spectralbovine
    Date:October 3rd, 2006 02:26 pm (UTC)
    (Link)
    So you get Studio 60 on Mondays? We get it the night before. Maybe it's kinda stale by the time you get it.
    Heh, yeah, I figured that out when I wondered where the hell this Molière reference was and then I was like HOW DID HE TRAVEL INTO THE FUTURE AND SEE THIS EPISODE LIKE HIRO OR SOMETHING?? And then I remembered you damn Canadians.
    [User Picture]
    From:alannaofdoom
    Date:October 3rd, 2006 02:41 pm (UTC)
    (Link)
    [begins singing "My Heart Belongs To Clea," the new song she just wrote about the pure unadulterated awesomeness]

    I have to say, it totally trips me out that Greg Grunberg is in this and not Six Degrees. Did he and J.J. break up or something? Heh.

    I missed part of it because I got home late, but Nikki is super-extra-ultra awesome. I loved the note on the heart post-it. Hee! This is fast becoming a must-watch for me, also; S60 keeps sliding by because there's nothing else really on, and because Perry is totally awesome, and because Bradley Whitford has a startling tendency to look like an overjoyed five-year-old on occasion, which I find entirely endearing.

    Poor Indian dude with no superpowers. Why does the Indian guy have to be normal, huh??

    I'll say to this what my parents used to say whenever I would ask, "If there's a Mother's Day and a Father's Day, how come there is no Kid's Day?"

    EVERY INDIAN DUDE HAS SUPERPOWERS ALREADY, SUNIL.
    [User Picture]
    From:spectralbovine
    Date:October 3rd, 2006 02:44 pm (UTC)
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    Our power to be superhot?
    [User Picture]
    From:afrocurl
    Date:October 3rd, 2006 03:01 pm (UTC)
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    I didn't find this episode of Studio 60 as funny as last week, so I don't think it's just you, P-C.

    Sorkin really enjoyes that behind the scenes look, so I'm hoping that we'll get more of it, without it being annoying. Of course, the behind the scens of being in President is so very different from running a TV show (which also may account for why Sports Night didn't fair as well as The West Wing.

    My thoughts on Sorkin's show in general is you have to give them now, as he really doesn't flush out anyone in one episode. Hell--he might not even flush out someone after 7 years for that matter.
    [User Picture]
    From:magnolia888
    Date:October 3rd, 2006 03:03 pm (UTC)
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    I am a big fan of Sports Night and loved Sorkin-era TWW . . . but so far, Studio 60 is not nearly as good as either of those two shows. I don't think the fellating is all that widespread, but it is true that Sorkin has a lot of built-in goodwill from a lot of people and he is probably going to be given more latitude because we know what he is capable of.

    I am sticking with it, but I hope it finds its way sooner rather than later. The characters aren't nearly as likable and they are mostly coming across as smug assholes. And the Jordan subplot about the mugshot and her sordid past is just ridiculous. She's not a famous TV actress, she's an executive. Nobody would care about anything she did 8 years ago. Her mug shot would not be remotely newsworthy and I doubt even the Smoking Gun would give a crap.
    [User Picture]
    From:magnolia888
    Date:October 3rd, 2006 03:17 pm (UTC)
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    I will admit that it made me irrationally happy that the show has an important Indian character who's not a stereotype.

    Oh, yeah! I meant to comment on this, but this is yet ANOTHER reason you should be watching The Office.

    There is an Indian character on that show who is hilarious. And not stereotypical at all. She's portrayed as a chatty airhead, actually, the complete opposite of the "normal" nerdy Indian doctor-type. (My DVD offer still stands, btw.)
    [User Picture]
    From:jenelope
    Date:October 3rd, 2006 03:06 pm (UTC)
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    I will admit that it made me irrationally happy that the show has an important Indian character who's not a stereotype.

    And you can't forget that he's totally hot. Maybe you didn't notice that part, but... but, oh my God! The pretty!

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