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Help Me Be Not Naked! - The Book of the Celestial Cow

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September 15th, 2006


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10:30 am - Help Me Be Not Naked!
HERE IS AN ENTRY FOR YOU! </T-Rex>

A) Courtesy of cofax7: Best. Icon. Ever. It made me laugh on a bad day. That is how funny it is. It makes me laugh right now.

B) If you're a fan of Veronica Mars, Mars Investigations, and/or culture, pop or otherwise, then you are probably my friend. Also, you should check out our new Cultural References section (we've only analyzed season 2 so far, but season 1 is on its way!). Here, you can discover that James Bond has been referenced FOUR TIMES in season 2 alone. But wait, there's more! If, say, you're watching "Donut Run," and you're mystified by Vinnie's comment about steak knives (perhaps because you live in Kazakhstan!), you can see the cultural references for the episode and discover that he is making reference to late night infomercials:
Capitalism is awesome, you guys. Any schmuck with the slightest bit of ingenuity can hawk his product on TV if he gets Everyman and Everywoman (in addition to a washed-up celebrity) to endorse it. Sure, he'll be relegated to a slot between the hours of two and five in the morning, when most people are sleeping, but that is just the reason why you should always throw in a known-quantity incentive to entice your zombified potential customer! The free set of steak knives is stereotypically popular because Americans sure love to eat steak, and how can you eat your steak without steak knives? It's impossible! Ah, capitalism.

Don't you feel smarter already?! Perhaps my explanation of the Brer Rabbit reference will appease your hungry brain:
Folklore is rife with trickster characters. Loki. Anansi. Ashton Kutcher. Brer Rabbit (short for "Brother Rabbit") is the trickster character in African-American folklore. The best-known tale is "Brer Rabbit and the Tar Baby," in which Brer Rabbit pleads with Brer Fox not to throw him into the briar patch when, in fact, that is exactly what he wants him to do, as he was "born and bred in the briar patch." Reverse psychology! Naturally, then, when Veronica insists that Duncan hates Mexico, Lamb suspects that Duncan was born and bred in Mexico. Which he wasn't, but Lamb isn't that bright.

AREN'T THOSE WRITERS SOOOOOO CLEVER? And did you notice that the video game was Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball?
It is clear that Dick and Logan are playing a volleyball game. What is not apparent, however, is that said game is a spin-off of the popular fighting game series Dead or Alive. Because after you rip out your opponent's spine, you really want to relax on the beach. I suppose we can't fault the game for its existence; how else would men who majored in breast physics get jobs? We're looking forward to Street Fighter Sand Castle Dance Party and Mortal Kombat Bikini Kar Wash.

ISN'T THAT spectralbovine SOOOOOO CLEVER?

C) If you're a fan of Veronica Mars, puzzles, and/or watching weird shit on YouTube, then you are probably my friend. Also, you should check out helpmeveronica.com, which has gotten progressively more intriguing. If you can't figure something out, go visit the hearst_helpers, because they probably figured it out yesterday.

D) pixie37373 is totally awesome and got me a totally awesome gift certificate to the totally awesome Threadless.com. I've seen shirts linked on this site many times, and now I can finally have one. Except...THERE ARE SO MANY. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO BUY. SUGGEST SHIRTS THAT I WOULD LOVE, O DISCIPLES OF BOVINITY. In order to use the gift certificate up completely, I'll either have to buy two or get one shipped to me fast. So find me cool shirts!

E) There is no E. There is no Miss Zarves.
Current Mood: gratefulgrateful
Current Music: Buckcherry - Crazy Bitch [in my head]

(43 memoirs | Describe me as "inscrutable")

Comments:


(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:September 15th, 2006 06:01 pm (UTC)
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I did indeed, and I accept your love.
[User Picture]
From:sophia_helix
Date:September 15th, 2006 06:09 pm (UTC)
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I have totally hit the Threadless impasse before, because HOW CAN ONE CHOOSE?

But for youuu, I suggest:

- Robot Dance Contest Because sad robots are never not funny.
- Mesozoic Medical Mirth T-Rex!
- Stabby McKnife Knives!
- Dark Side of the Garden He totally has this in his space-backyard.
- Ask Me How I Became a Pirate Because Talk Like a Pirate Day is coming up....
- Afternoon Delight Unicorns. Fucking. With rainbows.

PS: Do not fall into the trap, as I did, of just clicking "next in catalogue"! You will see every teeshirt they ever made, including ones that are sold out or retired, and it's just mean. Also, I felt for a while like I'd entered some kind of space-time warp, because the teeshirts just wouldn't stop coming. I had like ten more shirts here that are sekritly sold out, like the Emo Carebear. :(
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:September 15th, 2006 06:13 pm (UTC)
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Just to make me look crazy, I'm sure.
I saw that one. Hee.

T-Rex!
I know!

Also, I need links! Links so I can see!
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:September 15th, 2006 06:22 pm (UTC)
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I didn't realize they were all on one page!

So I Ctrl+Fed and saw. I think I've seen Dark Side of the Garden before. Heh.
[User Picture]
From:sophia_helix
Date:September 15th, 2006 06:32 pm (UTC)
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I jest, I jest. The internet is crap for conveying tone, and that site has a nonintuitive layout. *g*
[User Picture]
From:dachelle
Date:September 15th, 2006 06:16 pm (UTC)
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Robot Dance Contest!
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:September 15th, 2006 06:21 pm (UTC)
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That's two votes for RDC! It is a funny one.

I also like "Whoa! It's like I'm in a comic!" The color might not look good on me, though.
[User Picture]
From:alannaofdoom
Date:September 15th, 2006 07:08 pm (UTC)
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Okay, is it bad that when I read, That's two votes for RDC!, I immediately thought:

"Rae Dawn Chong? What?"

OK, my mouse won't select text on this page now, and I don't know why. My work computer is the stupidest machine ever. I'd get more done with a IIGS, I swear.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:September 15th, 2006 08:25 pm (UTC)
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OK, my mouse won't select text on this page now, and I don't know why.
It's because LJ switched you over to the Horizon layout. CHANGE IT BAAAACK.
[User Picture]
From:alannaofdoom
Date:September 15th, 2006 09:48 pm (UTC)
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OK, that's so weird, because I've had horizon for a while now and I only just noticed. Hm. Maybe it's an IE thing. I'll have to check at home with the nice happy Firefox.

If I ever get there.

[sigh] Too much work. Too much work. Too much work.
[User Picture]
From:cucumbersarnies
Date:September 15th, 2006 06:31 pm (UTC)
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Ah! I've already seen the Best. Icon. Ever. So funny :)

Cool t-shirts = robot dancing, hi there ray, and the in a comic book one.
[User Picture]
From:kalbear
Date:September 15th, 2006 06:44 pm (UTC)
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There are no fatalities, cruelties or otherwise silly death scenes in Dead or Alive. Which I know, it's false advertising and stuff (because the answer is always "Or alive") but whatever.

More likely after playing a game that is well-known for featuring top-heavy jiggly anime girls fighting each other, they played a game featuring top-heavy jiggly anime girls playing volleyball.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:September 15th, 2006 08:27 pm (UTC)
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Oh, I know, I've played DOA before. But we do know that Dick likes ripping out spins as well. It's the principle of the thing.
[User Picture]
From:kalbear
Date:September 15th, 2006 08:29 pm (UTC)
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Huh. I figured it was all about the boobies. But you are right - Dick does love to rip out a good spin.
[User Picture]
From:rissykay99
Date:September 15th, 2006 06:48 pm (UTC)
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I can't pick a shirt- there are too many good ones. Although I now totally covet Robot Dance Contest (as I have a habit of acting like I can actually do the robot).

Also- you have incredible taste in books. I haven't read Sideways Stories from Wayside School in about ten years, but that was an awesome book.
[User Picture]
From:electricmonk
Date:September 15th, 2006 06:55 pm (UTC)
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I, on the other hand, am your friend because of the Wayside School references.
But! But! The other day my father was doing a crossword puzzle and he was like, "Hey Mara, is Veronica Mars on UPN?" and I was like, "Why yes, dad, it is. Only not anymore." But the answer was UPN anyway.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:September 15th, 2006 08:28 pm (UTC)
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Holy shit, dude! It was in a crossword puzzle? Rock on!
[User Picture]
From:squaringkarma
Date:September 15th, 2006 11:57 pm (UTC)
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It was also on Jeopardy. Those silly students.
[User Picture]
From:alittlepunchy
Date:September 15th, 2006 07:06 pm (UTC)
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Inappropriate Wayside School references kick ass! :)
[User Picture]
From:alannaofdoom
Date:September 15th, 2006 07:11 pm (UTC)
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Wu! to Wayside School.

(Hee. Ooooh, I feel a crossover coming on...)

Huh. I always thought that the Brer was short/colloquial for "Briar" - you know, like Sandra Cisneros kept using "chile" in The House on Mango Street, and many in my class read the whole book think that she was just a really big fan of green chile or something.
[User Picture]
From:afrocurl
Date:September 15th, 2006 07:56 pm (UTC)
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I shall have to investigate your cultural references later, but I think you're doing fine.
[User Picture]
From:silentsiren47
Date:September 15th, 2006 07:58 pm (UTC)
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There is no 19th comment.
[User Picture]
From:jadelynx
Date:September 15th, 2006 08:01 pm (UTC)
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Robot Dance Contest and Afternoon Delight. Definitely. :D
[User Picture]
From:duchessdogberry
Date:September 15th, 2006 09:06 pm (UTC)
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We're looking forward to Street Fighter Sand Castle Dance Party and Mortal Kombat Bikini Kar Wash.

You should totally get a job writing for X-Play. Seriously.

E) There is no E. There is no Miss Zarves.

I love you, man.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:September 15th, 2006 09:50 pm (UTC)
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You should totally get a job writing for X-Play. Seriously.
Heh. I am rather unhappy with the new style, though. New for about four months now or whatever, but I only just got digital cable back a couple weeks ago.
[User Picture]
From:miniglik
Date:September 15th, 2006 09:46 pm (UTC)
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Can we take the best. icon. ever. PLEASE? We wants it.

Y'all did awesome work with the cultural references.

I would suggest a t-shirt, but.... I'm too busy looking for myself now.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:September 15th, 2006 09:49 pm (UTC)
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Tell me what you get!

I have no idea who made that icon and whether it's stealable. I mean, you can obviously take it and say you don't know whose it is in the credits.

Glad you like the CRs. We worked hard.
[User Picture]
From:squaringkarma
Date:September 15th, 2006 11:55 pm (UTC)
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*hearts second tag like nobody's business*
[User Picture]
From:kammgirl
Date:September 16th, 2006 12:05 am (UTC)
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Dude you are a constant source of joy in my life. Seriously you are Teh Brilliance.
[User Picture]
From:eldritch_flame
Date:September 16th, 2006 02:12 am (UTC)
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Silly tag, wayside school references are never inappropriate! Not ever never.
[User Picture]
From:thetheatremouse
Date:September 16th, 2006 03:48 am (UTC)
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You have just reminded me that it is almost that time again, that time when we can play my favourite game that I love even though I always always lose. By a lot. Whoo! Yay for games.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:September 16th, 2006 04:12 am (UTC)
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Well, not really, since I only did two episodes, and...wait, I did one before, too, so a total of three episodes, I think. And I already told you one of them.

Find the other two!
[User Picture]
From:alliterator
Date:September 16th, 2006 04:18 am (UTC)
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WAYSIDE SCHOOL FOR THE WIN.
[User Picture]
From:sterope
Date:September 16th, 2006 07:52 am (UTC)
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I've seen that icon around lj before, and it absolutely brings teh lolz. Whoever made it is a genius. I have two shirts from Threadless- "nice boobies" and one that is called "Vikea" which shows Ikea like instructions for building a viking ship. One of the instructions is "praise Thor." It's incredible. I really like the "Communist party" shirt, if that's still on there.
From:metabeta
Date:September 17th, 2006 05:46 am (UTC)
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The next thing I own will be this, I vow.

YOU should get Myopia Utopia or, of course, Robot Dance Contest.
[User Picture]
From:modlin
Date:September 17th, 2006 08:04 am (UTC)
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Aw, the funniest icon ever, and it's about astronomy! (I'm erinye, the astronomer who's been staying up all night on the VM4 these days, and I friended you. Because you obviously need more friends.)

And damn you for sending me over to Threadless and making me want to buy things.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:September 18th, 2006 01:07 am (UTC)
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Hey, you!
From:(Anonymous)
Date:September 17th, 2006 10:27 am (UTC)
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I'm quite happy with my "Rocketbird". I just received "Sticks of Shame" but have not yet taken it out for a spin.

KO in SF
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:cosmicviolet
Date:September 18th, 2006 01:03 am (UTC)
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Yay, cultural references! I was waiting for you guys to do something like that.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:September 18th, 2006 01:08 am (UTC)
(Link)
SO WERE WE.

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