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The Man of Metropolis Steals Our Farts - The Book of the Celestial Cow

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June 30th, 2006


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10:10 am - The Man of Metropolis Steals Our Farts
Today marks my 26th straight day of work. I have worked three weekends in a row, as well as two nights. I have clocked 58 hours of overtime in the month of June. That means I can finally buy a digital camera. And possibly go to Tahiti. But I am so burnt out that my productivity is basically shot to hell. I need a break.

And luckily, I am getting one! Kind of. I'm going home for four days, so I may be kind of sparse in these parts as my time is monopolized by the family.

Getting that word out, however, is really only an excuse to post a poll. Because it is Friday, and the F stands for Fun.

Today's poll is inspired by amberlynne, but superhero fans who I imagine normally skip my posts (minim_calibre! ocvictor!) would do well to participate.

Poll #759492 The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

Who's cooler?

Batman
83(91.2%)
Superman
8(8.8%)

Who has a better costume?

Batman
79(86.8%)
Superman
12(13.2%)

Who has a better "sidekick"? (Dick Grayson vs. Jimmy Olsen)

Batman
63(69.2%)
Superman
28(30.8%)

Who has a really awesome car?

Batman
90(98.9%)
Superman
1(1.1%)

That last question was fixed. And it was lame. Superman doesn't need a car because he can FLY, MOTHERFUCKER!

Batman
32(36.0%)
Superman
57(64.0%)

Who has better villains?

Batman
65(73.9%)
Superman
23(26.1%)

Who has an entire "family" of superheroes who work with him and love him to a fault?

Batman
55(63.2%)
Superman
32(36.8%)

Hey! What about the Justice League of America?!

Batman's in the JLA too, you twat.
66(75.9%)
Oh. Fuck.
21(24.1%)

Who can go into space? Can your precious BATMAN go into space?

Jon Stewart can't go into space, and he's cooler than Superman.
68(75.6%)
Superman could beat up Jon Stewart.
22(24.4%)

Take a look at No Man's Land. Who held Gotham together, and who was a self-righteous ass?

Batman
69(84.1%)
Superman
13(15.9%)

Did that last question actually have a right answer?

Yes
61(73.5%)
Yes
22(26.5%)

Who won the fight in The Dark Knight Returns?

Batman
72(85.7%)
Superman
12(14.3%)

Objection! AU!

Overruled
59(68.6%)
Sustained
27(31.4%)

So you don't read comics? Fine, who has the better movies?

Batman
72(80.0%)
Superman
18(20.0%)

This poll is so long, I actually have to split it into TWO. Whose fault is that?

Batman
27(29.3%)
Superman
65(70.7%)

(Click "Submit Poll" now before moving on!)

Poll #759493 The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny Continues!

Who has an entire website dedicated to how much of a dick he is?

Batman
18(22.0%)
Superman
64(78.0%)

Who probably has an entire website dedicated to how much he likes Dick?

Batman
58(70.7%)
Superman
24(29.3%)

Who is more of a dick to the people who care about him?

Batman
61(74.4%)
Superman
21(25.6%)

You know, you were actually allowed to vote for Batman in that one.

You're right, he's kind of a dick.
63(76.8%)
I'm going to start batdickery.com right now!
19(23.2%)

Who's cooler?

Aquaman
28(35.0%)
A half-eaten cheese sandwich
52(65.0%)

Wait, that didn't have anything to do with Batman and/or Superman.

Yeah, but it was funny, huh?
50(64.1%)
Did you just make a reference to a large Hispanic comedian you saw on Comedy Central whose name you can't even remember?
28(35.9%)

Whose home turf is cooler? (Gotham vs. Metropolis)

Batman
64(78.0%)
Superman
18(22.0%)

Who has a cooler alter ego?

Batman
68(82.9%)
Superman
14(17.1%)

Finally: who is the greatest superhero of all time?

Batman
50(62.5%)
Superman
30(37.5%)

Current Mood: geekymocktastic
Current Music: Hot Hot Heat - Middle of Nowhere [in my head]

(92 memoirs | Describe me as "inscrutable")

Comments:


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[User Picture]
From:minim_calibre
Date:June 30th, 2006 05:14 pm (UTC)
(Link)
See, in F, C, M, it's F-Batman, C-Aquaman, and totally M-Superman.

That explains EVERYTHING you need to know.

Jon Stewart can't go into space, and he's cooler than Superman.

Yeah, but JOHN Stewart can, and he's cooler than BOTH of them.

And Batman.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:June 30th, 2006 05:20 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Really? Explain! (I know almost nothing about the Green Lantern. Except that he is afraid of yellow.)
[User Picture]
From:amberlynne
Date:June 30th, 2006 05:17 pm (UTC)
(Link)
In conclusion: BATMAN!
[User Picture]
From:adelynne
Date:June 30th, 2006 10:15 pm (UTC)
(Link)
AMEN!
[User Picture]
From:kituralb
Date:June 30th, 2006 05:19 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Batdickery.com. Snoooort.

Although, I have to admit. I'm a little torn. I grew up with both Batman and Superman. I have lots of love for both, man. Batman does have a cooler car, even if Superman has the hotter boyfriend who can buy him a million cool cars.
[User Picture]
From:lonesomepioneer
Date:June 30th, 2006 05:22 pm (UTC)
(Link)
OBJECTION TO RADIO BUTTONS.

And lack of "Other: specify" options!

*refuses to vote in fascist opinion-superimposing poll*
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:June 30th, 2006 05:25 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Sometimes you need to be fascist, Savannah. It makes life more fun and hilarious.
[User Picture]
From:kibarika
Date:June 30th, 2006 05:27 pm (UTC)
(Link)
For that last one the answer is clearly "Spiderman," but you apparently hate Marvel. Which is fine.

I just, you know, can't be your friend anymore.

And you'll never get a job working for Joss Whedon.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:June 30th, 2006 05:30 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Hee! I do not hate Marvel! I love Marvel. But this poll was inspired by a very specific Batman vs. Superman issue, so that's the way it was constructed.
[User Picture]
From:athenacqd
Date:June 30th, 2006 05:28 pm (UTC)
(Link)
That is unacceptable! 3 weekends in a row? Your brain will melt.

I hope, at least, that you have a good break.

Batman rules.
[User Picture]
From:enshanam
Date:June 30th, 2006 05:28 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Are you going to stop here as well?
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:June 30th, 2006 05:31 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Nope, sorry. All my time are belong to my family.
[User Picture]
From:musesfool
Date:June 30th, 2006 05:31 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Hmph. Wolverine is cooler than both.

(I mean, I love Spider-Man best, but he is not the coolest.)
[User Picture]
From:amberlynne
Date:June 30th, 2006 05:33 pm (UTC)
(Link)
*facepalm* V! You hurt me with this, you really do. *sniffle*
[User Picture]
From:jeeperstseepers
Date:June 30th, 2006 05:31 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Who's the spinny lady?

I don't know enough about the comics to do the poll. So I'll just say that Batman is cooler to me, but I find Superman more fascinating and endearing, simply because he's from another planet. No traumatic childhood event, no radiation exposure after an otherwise normal adolescence...he's from another planet. Not human. He is an alien. You know how sometimes you look around you and feel like you're kind of different? Yeah, you've got nothing on Superman in that department. The degree of a feeling of isolation and loneliness something like that must evoke is mind-boggling.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:June 30th, 2006 05:36 pm (UTC)
(Link)
The spinny lady is River!! You've seen Firefly, haven't you?

I've never been able to get into Superman. He's just not really interested me (even though I, you know, watch Smallville). I understand what you're saying about him, though, but I don't know what to read in order to see that cool part of him.
From:hobviously
Date:June 30th, 2006 05:33 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Batman.
[User Picture]
From:alannaofdoom
Date:June 30th, 2006 05:36 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Wow. You definitely need to not work that hard.

What the crap are you doing, dude?

Anyway. Now I have to get back to work. Boo.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:June 30th, 2006 05:38 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Heh. Appropriate icon.

I'm a medical writer now!
(Deleted comment)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:tibicina
Date:June 30th, 2006 05:51 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Ok, so the really bad Batman movie was worse, but I would argue that the really good Batman movies were enough better than the Superman movies to make up for it. Then again, I haven't yet seen the new Superman movie.
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:alliterator
Date:June 30th, 2006 05:45 pm (UTC)
(Link)
BATMAN! No, SUPERMAN! No, BATMAN!

Well, shit. Okay, let's see who has the more amusing ALL-STAR COMIC version:

ALL-STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN has: stubbly, pedophilia-ish Batman saying things like "What are you, stupid? Retarded? I'm the GODDAMN BATMAN." And then he tries to starve Robin. And Superman accidently burns his glasses and the newspaper with his heat vision.

ALL-STAR SUPERMAN has: crazy, wacky Superman who had a giant Fortress of Solitude with lots of wacky devices including a costume that will give Lois Lane powers. The comic also involves a Willy Wonka-esque scientist with a rainbow jacket.

WINNER: Tie.
[User Picture]
From:amberlynne
Date:June 30th, 2006 05:51 pm (UTC)
(Link)
"What are you, stupid? Retarded? I'm the GODDAMN BATMAN."

*cries* Why did you have to go there? I am STILL traumatized by Vicky Vale's huge pantied ass!
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:June 30th, 2006 06:01 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Hee. Well, that is good! I hope it provided you with one-tenth the enjoyment I get from your picspams.
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:lonesomepioneer
Date:June 30th, 2006 06:12 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Objection! Only because Batman is not a Christ-figure!*

*That I know of. But most of my knowledge of Batman is gleaned from watching old reruns of the show on Nickelodeon while babysitting*

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