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Why Don't You Ask the Kids at Tiananmen Square? - The Book of the Celestial Cow

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March 11th, 2006


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12:29 am - Why Don't You Ask the Kids at Tiananmen Square?
You know a good place not to watch BSG? In the same room with a paper shredder and a screaming fourth grader.

What the frak was that? No, really...what the frak was that? I...don't know what to say.

It was like a string of anticlimaxes tied around a basket of WTF.

I'm glad Dean Stockwell's a Cylon, and I hope we see his model again. He's very amusing. I am pretty annoyed that we didn't actually get to see the Cylon Revolution, but I understand that the show's not about them and "Downloaded" was a gift. It would make their "Oh, yeah, our bad" a little easier to swallow, though.

The election-rigging plot was pretty good, and it showed us a bit of the old Dualla. Plus, it gave Gaeta something to do. And it provided for one of those delicious moral dilemmas the show relishes. Very nice conversation between Adama and Roslin.

Why didn't Sharon tell anyone about the Cylon coming back with them? Is it her time for suicidal angst? Does the show care anymore? Helo does, the poor sap.

Why is the planet named New Caprica? What about the other eleven colonies? Is there a Caprican majority? And where the hell did Baltar pick up a British accent?

By the way, I'm going to miss seeing the CYLON-OCCUPIED CAPRICA card. CYLON-OCCUPIED NEW CAPRICA doesn't have the same ring to it. But I get ahead of myself.

Baltar and Gina, huh? Nicely done scene there with the intercutting. My uncle commented that the music made it sound like he was going to his death. If he only knew.

And then. KABOOM.

The awful thing about Baltar is you realize that he's actually crying for his dead girlfriend, not for however many people died in the blast.

But he's just as great a president as expected: "I don't have to listen; I'm the President!" What are you, five? Yes, he's five. And he has no idea how to handle a responsibility like that.

Up until the nuclear blast, the episode has been distinctly unexciting with some good moments, but it is at this point that the episode goes to hell.

The last half hour is like some sort of cracked-out fanfic AU thing.

ONE. YEAR. LATER.

Okay: nicely done transition, I'll give them that. But Jesus Christ, what a wasted opportunity to show us...I don't know, EVERYTHING. They never even told us the extent of the destruction from the nuclear blast. I don't know; I can understand that maybe showing us a broken, torn-apart race trying to rebuild a civilization in the wake of political upheaval could be boring. OR MAYBE NOT. I feel like way too much happened in this episode in order to get them to the finale cliffhanger. It was like we were being told a story rather than watching it. They could have cut some of the filler eps out and stretched this content out longer to A) make it more exciting and interesting and B) ease the transition (when I said "nicely done" I meant in respect to what they were going for).

Now: what the HELL happened to everyone?

Gaeta is the new Billy, and Helo is the new Gaeta. Adama has a really bad mustache. Kara has longer hair and is MARRIED to Anders?! MARRIED? Because their relationship is based on love and trust and not, say, survivor sex? Doc Cottle managed to age TEN YEARS in the course of 380 days? Chief never shaves anymore, and he's now knocked up Cally? Lee and Dee are STILL TOGETHER?! Because they have ANY REASON TO BE TOGETHER? Roslin is a schoolteach—wait, that one makes sense.

So the Cylons arrive, as of course they were always going to, but why? What happened to "Our bad"? What happened to AND THEY HAVE A PLAN? Was it all lies?

And, see, by this time, I've become so disillusioned with the show that I can't even appreciate the utter coolness that I know is coming, of however many Cylon models are going to walk through that door. First: Doral! Second: Sharon! Third: Six! Is it Six? I think it is. Oh, it is. But I can't even appreciate this moment either because nothing makes sense anymore.

Now the Cylons just want to subjugate humanity for the fun of it? Because it's cool?

One thing I did love was that it all went right back to Baltar again, and you can see that horrifying realization dawn on him when he learns that it was Gina's nuke, the one that he gave to her, that alerted the Cylons to their location. But for some reason it took an ENTIRE YEAR for them to bother to pay a visit?

I really don't know what to say. Do I chalk it up to a bad viewing environment? I don't know what the frakking hell happened to my show, and I don't know where they're going with this, and I won't have that hard a time waiting till October now. Which is unfortunate because I really wanted to be awesomed by this finale.

Props to Bear McCreary, though. The music was excellent throughout.
Current Mood: discontentdiscontent
Current Music: System of a Down - Hypnotize [in my head]

(53 memoirs | Describe me as "inscrutable")

Comments:


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From:alannaofdoom
Date:March 11th, 2006 01:26 pm (UTC)
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Dude, Baltar's always had a British accent.

...I don't really know what to say about the rest, though.
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From:spectralbovine
Date:March 11th, 2006 05:28 pm (UTC)
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Oh, I know, but the thought just occurred to me when thinking about Caprica and the fact that people came from there. Why does he have an accent when no one else does?
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From:soundingsea
Date:March 11th, 2006 02:01 pm (UTC)
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But for some reason it took an ENTIRE YEAR for them to bother to pay a visit?

Not that i've paid any attention to the science of this show, but the Cylons did say something about being a light-year away when they saw the blast. Maybe they don't have FTL and/or jump engines, and had to travel for that whole year?

I don't know; I can understand that maybe showing us a broken, torn-apart race trying to rebuild a civilization in the wake of political upheaval could be boring. OR MAYBE NOT.

Yeah, I'd really like to see *that* show. But on the bright side, I predict that there will be a LOT of fill-in-the-blank fanfic.
(Deleted comment)
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From:missdeviant
Date:March 11th, 2006 02:11 pm (UTC)
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The last half hour is like some sort of cracked-out fanfic AU thing.

Dammit. And I have such a *weakness* for crack!fic.

...

You know what I find strange? The more I think about this episode, the more I kind of love it.

Yes, I would have loved to see that year. But it's Battlestar Galactica, not "Floating around being bored Galactica" - and lulling into false senses of complacency/allowing everyone to grow hair and get fat might be PART of the Cylon's plan.

I think what the people needed was a kick in the ass to make them realize that they *have* to find earth, that no other planet will be safe for them, and that Cylons are FRAKKING LIARS.

It was a weird rabbit hole, yes, but the more I think about the potential repercussions, the more intrigued I am.

(Of course, after Alias did their two year jump I lost all interest, so... grains of salt all around)
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From:spectralbovine
Date:March 11th, 2006 05:32 pm (UTC)
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I think what the people needed was a kick in the ass to make them realize that they *have* to find earth, that no other planet will be safe for them, and that Cylons are FRAKKING LIARS.

But I love the Cylons! I find them terribly interesting! I don't want them to be liars; that's too easy. I want them to make sense. It has to be one of those "We're doing something bad for the sake of good" things.
From:lilserf
Date:March 11th, 2006 03:29 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, the one year delay for the Cylons to arrive was because of awesome physics. They happened to be a light-year away one year after the blast, which is when the wavefront from the blast reached that point. That alerted them and they went to investigate. Pretty neat, really.

I'm sorry you didn't seem to like this one. I was absolutely on the edge of my seat and out-of-control. I thought it was one of the best episodes of TV I've seen in a long time.

Lots of people seem miffed, but I thought the one-year-later cut was exceptionally well done. Lots of stuff was implied, plenty of ground is laid for new flashbacks and mysteries, and it resets the stage for a completely different fight. The thing I like about Ron Moore is that he's not afraid to shake things up, big time. Many interweb folks (not you) are insisting this must be a dream or something, but I'm sure Ron's going straight ahead with this. Yes, things got turned upside down for our favorite characters. It may not be entirely pleasant for them or for us, but it's gutsy TV and I really like gutsy TV.

I await Jacob's recap.
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From:spectralbovine
Date:March 11th, 2006 05:36 pm (UTC)
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I was surprised to find myself in the minority (I'm so rarely in the minority of DISlike!), but everyone's enthusiasm is a little contagious. I can see the gutsiness and wanting to go in a new direction, but I feel like it was led to poorly and the starting point is kind of a mess. Not just for the characters but just because...I am miffed!

I still think the episode was too much summary and not enough scene. All the time jumps this season have been irritating after so many episodes of continuous action, so ONE YEAR LATER was kind of the proverbial straw.
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From:alannaofdoom
Date:March 11th, 2006 03:40 pm (UTC)
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Addendum: I'm liking this ep more and more the more I think about it.

Re: Starbuck getting married - I think she definitely would. For all the wrong reasons, obviously, because this is Starbuck, but it definitely makes sense. First, now that they've found a planet, and (they presume) refuge and safety, the military's role is greatly reduced. Starbuck doesn't have anything else. So naturally she'd create a new family for herself. And Anders? Is totally a substitute Apollo, who she can't have because that's, like, virtual incest and fraught with so much love-hate-love etc. that it's easier for her (and Apollo) to take the easier route. And secondly I'd assume that, in a bedraggled group of refugees facing a bright new future on a pristine planet, pretty much everyone would be getting married. The baby boom to end all baby booms, you know?
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From:missdeviant
Date:March 11th, 2006 05:51 pm (UTC)
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Massive WORD all around.

Also, Anders/Kara wedding fic, with Lee getting all SCANDALIZED that his best pilot wants to leave the fleet? SO TEMPTING.
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From:smrou
Date:March 11th, 2006 04:18 pm (UTC)
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I love that you never noticed Baltar's British accent. That, to me, is hilarious.

I still haven't decided if I loved this episode, or am really really pissed about it. Actually, I know I'm pissed about it, but I might love it anyway.

Reason why I think this could be really great: this turn of events flips things around, and gives them a whole new, very exciting story to tell. Obviously, I loved BSG how it was, but it ran the risk of telling the same story over and over. The RTFF is on the run, Cylons appear or attack, RTFF fights back, barely escapes, etc. Something needed to change. And yes, it could have changed more gradually, but there's a lot of crap we didn't need to see (stuff that I wouldn't have been that interested in seeing: the building, such as it was, of New Caprica City, the patroling for a year around New Caprica just waiting for cylons to appear).

Other reason why I think this could be great: this new story they need to tell? Is awesome. The fleet's jumped away to god knows where, and now we've got the majority of the remainder of civilization in what will of course become a resistance movement involving Starbuck and Roslin Tigh and Chief and Cally and other cool people. Now the RTFF is really rag-tag, which is kinda cool.

But of course, I'm totally pissed. Because I hate missing everything. Plot-wise, whatever. What I'm pissed about is that we miss a year of interactions between characters I adore, because that's what I live for, and I'm left filling in blanks. I do, however, remain somewhat hopeful on that front, not because I expect hours of flashbacks or any of that crap, but because I know that the writers in this case are aware that we've missed a lot of crucial character interaction and plot. It's annoying as hell when you go from one episode where something huge happens between two characters to another where it's never mentioned, but I think a lot of the times that happens because the writers almost just forget that there's shit they have to take care of. Here, they damn well know that there's A LOT of shit they have to take care of, and I think there are ways they can let us in on what we missed, and I think (hope) they will.

At this point I went into a long bit discussing the things that we missed and what probably happened, just based on our knowledge of characters, but my post was too long, and sucked to begin with, so rather than cut it in two, I'm just cutting most of it out. Suffice it to say, I don't know yet whether I loved or hated this episode, and whether I love or hate the year jump forward. And I've barely processed at this point because my mind was so blown. I haven't even begun to think of whether what they cylons did made sense, and what the implications are in terms of what we know about certain cylons (CapricaSix and CapricaSharon being the most obvious ones). Anyway, I'm not as upset as you, and I didn't hate the episode like you did, but I'm undecided right now.
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From:spectralbovine
Date:March 11th, 2006 05:41 pm (UTC)
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I love that you never noticed Baltar's British accent. That, to me, is hilarious.

Oh, I noticed it before. But I never thought about the fact that he has one when no one else from Caprica does, you know? One of those "Why does the Imperial Fleet have British accents?" things.

I agree with you on the year jump, and I was too disoriented to care about what kind of stories they could tell. Although what I really wanted to see at the end was the Cylons coming in and nuking New Caprica. All of this has happened, and all of it will happen again. But that would have made even less sense.

I've moved into "not really caring" into "cautiously interested."
(Deleted comment)
From:lilserf
Date:March 11th, 2006 05:05 pm (UTC)
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That was the adoptive mother of Sharon & Helo's baby. And yes, that was supposed to be Hera, although debate rages about how big she was. Remember she was a tiny preemie, they're frequently smaller than average.
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From:the_partyman
Date:March 11th, 2006 05:03 pm (UTC)
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Is it sad to admit that the first thing I do after I get to see each new of of BSG is click on the cut for your write-up? Always a good read, whatever the quality of the actual ep.

I agree the lasy chunk of that seemed a little rushed, but I kinda really like whole WTF of it.

Good point on the Cylons waiting a Year thing. That is a bit odd. Of course they could have been lying about it being "an accident" and all that, because THEY HAVE A PLAN.

Odd that they haven't killed everybody though. Maybe they want the Magic Baby. Maybe Dean Stockwell was not lying about them being happy to leave the Humans in peace, and they have just "dropped in" to say hello (and reunite Hero 6 with Baltar). Or maybe THEY HAVE A PLAN. I dunno.


On the LeeDee thing... I am obviously biased on the LeeDee thing because she is teh hotness. I shall not argue the WTF of their relationship, just be glad of her hotness.

Though technically, despite the obvious "coupled up" theme of the WTF section (Starbuck/Anders, Chief/Cally, Tigh/Mrs. Tigh, Adama/Galactica...), there was no definitive evidence that Dualla is anything than Lee's second-in-command. Though she did look mighty pissed when Starbuck called. I wonder what went on there during the "One Year Later"? Nice new uniform she has there too. Did I meantion that she is the hotness?
[User Picture]
From:the_partyman
Date:March 11th, 2006 05:41 pm (UTC)
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Okay the whole year Wait/Light Year Away thing makes sense now.

One thing I don't see mentioned here, or in your commenst thus far: That guy we saw in "Blurry-AndersVision" asking for Starbuck towards the end? That was a new copy of That Cylon That Starbuck Interrogated and Roslin Threw Out The Airlock was back when, yes? Or am I imagining?
(Deleted comment)
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From:jeeperstseepers
Date:March 12th, 2006 01:00 am (UTC)
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It was like a string of anticlimaxes tied around a basket of WTF.

And that is why I read your posts about shows I do not watch.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:March 12th, 2006 05:08 am (UTC)
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Awwww. I'm glad you liked that line. You make me happy.
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From:thetheatremouse
Date:March 19th, 2006 12:49 am (UTC)
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DUDE! I've fucking missed you!

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