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Happy Family at Slapsgiving - The Book of the Celestial Cow

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November 23rd, 2009


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09:49 pm - Happy Family at Slapsgiving
Two of my favorite shows had Thanksgiving episodes the week of Thanksgiving! Oh, television scheduling, how do you do it?

Dexter

WHAT!

I'll get back to that exclamation, but first let me cover the weaker parts of the episode. I am still not really on this bizarre Batista/LaGuerta business, but if it makes Angel happy, I will go with it. But, oh man, I kept thinking Batista or LaGuerta was going to get shot. STOP DECLARING YOUR LOVE AND HAPPINESS IN PUBLIC. THAT DID NOT END WELL FOR THE LAST COUPLE.

Aunt Deb! Aw, Aunt Deb. Spoons, forks, whatevs!

You know, I kind of don't care whether Rita has an affair with Elliot, as long as it will make her leave Dexter alone. I still liked her when other people started really disliking her, but she's begun to try even my patience this season. There's nothing to like about her anymore, really. She's not interesting.

Masuka! Oh, Vince. I wonder what he'll do.

Okay, okay. The Mitchells! Holy shit. With the way Arthur's been cracking, it's not too surprising that the Happy Family is a facade, but the depths of what it's covering up were...good goddamn. So he beats his son. That's terrible, but it's...almost pedestrian as far as TV trauma goes. And he locks his daughter in her room. The visuals of that were striking. But then whatsername from Gilmore Girls tries to seduce Dexter! Just to get out of there! And the mom is all FUCK MY DAUGHTER ALL YOU WANT JUST DON'T TELL ARTHUR.

YOU ARE SO FUCKED UP SHOW. SO FUCKED UP.

And then the actual Thanksgiving dinner! Oh my God, all of this is some of the creepiest, squirmiest shit I've ever seen, but shit got super fucking tense here. Oh my God. I never want to say what I'm thankful for ever again. And Jonah! Going nuts! And Arthur! Going nuts! And then DEXTER! GOING FUCKING NUTS HOLY SHIT! I have no idea how he's going to kill him now, how he's even going to get close to him. Shit just got real.

Finally, dazzy9 called Christine as the shooter last week, so that wasn't as big a surprise as it could have been. But "Hi, Dad"? HAS NOT BEEN THAT SURPRISING SINCE ANGEL! This could totally explain why she's been such a goddamn cipher. I could never figure out how sincere she was being. Sometimes she seemed like she was having real feelings, and sometimes she was clearly playing people, and they both started to look like each other. I thought it was bad writing or bad acting or something, so I'm glad it was intentional. Of course she's like that with TRINITY for a dad.

Man, I love this show. I love how this season began framed as "Dexter, this is how you succeed as a serial killer," but it's become "Dexter, this is your future." And it's not pretty.

(Although on that note, does anyone else feel like telling Harry to shut his stupid face these days?)

How I Met Your Mother

Oh, show. Keep on making slap puns. I slapprove.

One more slap to go! Maybe the final slap will be given to...The Mother! Or not.

I do wonder what sort of television show Orphans' Thanksgiving will be like this year.



Inspired by silveronthetree, I am also doing the First Lines Meme!

1. Pick 10 of your favorite books or series.
2. Post the first sentence of each book. (If one sentence seems too short, post two or three!)
3. Let everyone try to guess the titles and authors of your books.


1. [Character]: It's hard being left behind. I wait for [Character], not knowing where he is, wondering if he's okay. (The Time Traveler's Wife, by Audrey Niffenegger, guessed by jeeperstseepers and latropita)

2. I was born with water on the brain. (The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, by Sherman Alexie, guessed by airbefore)

3. Two tires fly. Two wail. / A bamboo grove, all chopped down / From it, warring songs....is the best that Corporal [Character] can do on short notice—he's standing on the running board, gripping his Springfield with one hand and the rearview mirror with the other, so counting the syllables on his fingers is out of the question. (Cryptonomicon, by Neal Stephenson, guessed by the_narration and scifantasy)

4. It seems increasingly likely that I really will undertake the expedition that has been preoccupying my imagination now for some days. (The Remains of the Day, by Kazuo Ishiguro, guessed by airbefore and latropita)

5. Linderwall was a large kingdom, just east of the Mountains of Morning, where philosophers were highly respected and the number five was fashionable. (Dealing with Dragons, by Patricia C. Wrede, guessed by latropita)

6. On an exceptionally hot evening early in July a young man came out of the garret in which he lodged in S. Place and walked slowly, as though in hesitation, towards K. bridge. (Crime and Punishment, by Fyodor Dostoevsky, guessed by jenepel and aderyn)

7. This is my favorite book in all the world, though I have never read it. (The Princess Bride, by William Goldman, guessed by jeeperstseepers)

8. The first time was like this. (Jumper, by Steven Gould, guessed by incidentist)

9. At first, the new owner pretends he never looked at the living room floor. (Lullaby, by Chuck Palahniuk, guessed by ahtrap)

10. From a little after two oclock until almost sundown of the long still hot weary dead September afternoon they sat in what Miss [Character] still called the office because her father had called it that—a dim hot airless room with the blinds all closed and fastened for forty-three summers because when she was a girl someone had believed that light and moving air carried heat and that dark was always cooler, and which (as the sun shone fuller and fuller on that side of the house) became latticed with yellow slashes full of dust motes that [Character] thought of as being flecks of the dead old dried paint itself blown inward from the scaling blinds as wind might have blown them. (Absalom, Absalom!, by William Faulkner, guessed by musesfool and punzerel)

As a side note, I wanted to use A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius but couldn't decide what the first line was.
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: 311 - You Wouldn't Believe

(46 memoirs | Describe me as "inscrutable")

Comments:


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[User Picture]
From:airbefore
Date:November 24th, 2009 05:56 am (UTC)
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Keep on making slap puns. I slapprove.
The "poison slapple" line was pure genius.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:November 24th, 2009 05:58 am (UTC)
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Slapsolutely!
[User Picture]
From:jeeperstseepers
Date:November 24th, 2009 05:57 am (UTC)
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1: Time Traveler's Wife
7: The Princess Bride

*Sigh* Since I have no idea what's going on this season, reading your Dexter comments didn't help me at all. No context.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:November 24th, 2009 06:00 am (UTC)
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Stay unspoiled! It is better!

And, yes, those are correct, of course.
[User Picture]
From:latropita
Date:November 24th, 2009 06:02 am (UTC)
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1. The Time Travelers Wife! By, uh, wossname!
4. Remains of the Day! Kazuo Ishiguro!
5. Dealing With Dragons, Patricia C. Wrede.
9. House of Leaves, Mark Danielewski?

6 & 7 seem really familiar, but alas, they have fallen through the holes in my brain. In other news this is TOTALLY EXCELLENT and I am so stealing it.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:November 24th, 2009 06:05 am (UTC)
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1. Yes!
4. Yes!
5. YEEEEESSSS!!
9. Hee! No.

I am pretty sure you know 7. And 6 is probably familiar because you've read it and not because it looks like something.
[User Picture]
From:tripoli
Date:November 24th, 2009 06:05 am (UTC)
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I thought it was bad writing or bad acting or something, so I'm glad it was intentional. Of course she's like that with TRINITY for a dad.

I had the same read, and I'm similarly glad that she really is supposed to be that tough to get a read on (at least, that's what I'm assuming). Jesus God, how many people are left on this show who've never slept with or tried to sleep with a psychotic killer?

(Although on that note, does anyone else feel like telling Harry to shut his stupid face these days?)


I'm still kind of going on the assumption that Harry is in his imagination, and I'm still at the point of OMG, HARRY, NOT HELPING.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:November 24th, 2009 06:07 am (UTC)
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Jesus God, how many people are left on this show who've never slept with or tried to sleep with a psychotic killer?
Ha ha ha, seriously!

I'm still kind of going on the assumption that Harry is in his imagination, and I'm still at the point of OMG, HARRY, NOT HELPING.
Oh, yeah, Harry is definitely in his imagination. It's the Harry part of Dexter that's trying to continue his teachings. And sometimes I really like their interplay in the way that it represents Dexter arguing with himself, but sometimes SHUT UP.
[User Picture]
From:roxybisquaint
Date:November 24th, 2009 06:59 am (UTC)
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Dexter...
OMFG. I DID NOT SEE "HI DAD" COMING!

Once Deb and Masuka figured out the bullet trajectory thing and the reporter was on screen a lot more, I kept wondering if she was the shooter. All I could come up with for motive was to create a story to cover, though, which was really dumb. So then I jumped to the son being the shooter, maybe because he knew about his dad's killings and wanted to protect him. I think that show played me beautifully and I'm glad.

Yes, that was one very fucked up Thanksgiving at Arthur's house. I was so so happy when Dexter got home and Cody said he was thankful for him. I'm with you on Rita. I do not like her this season at all. Maybe if she has an affair she'll stop thinking she's so perfect. I'm getting a weird vibe of Harry lately and I'm afraid.

Man, I love this show. I love how this season began framed as "Dexter, this is how you succeed as a serial killer," but it's become "Dexter, this is your future." And it's not pretty.

Exslaptly!
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:November 24th, 2009 07:12 am (UTC)
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All I could come up with for motive was to create a story to cover, though, which was really dumb.
Right! She seemed to be the only viable suspect, just based on Characters That Were Around. But that was a pretty thin rationale for MURDER. And then, yeah, I thought one of the kids did it. And ONE OF THEM DID. Oh, show.

I was so so happy when Dexter got home and Cody said he was thankful for him.
Adorable!

I'm with you on Rita. I do not like her this season at all. Maybe if she has an affair she'll stop thinking she's so perfect.
Oh God yes.
[User Picture]
From:incidentist
Date:November 24th, 2009 07:22 am (UTC)
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8: Jumper?
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:November 24th, 2009 07:34 am (UTC)
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YES YES YES I DIDN'T THINK ANYONE WOULD GET IT THIS IS WHY YOU ARE MY FRIEND.
[User Picture]
From:serrico
Date:November 24th, 2009 07:25 am (UTC)

DEXTERRRRRRRR.

(Link)
I have been wanting to tell Harry to shut up for *ages*. Man, he's annoying this season.

Poor sweet smart innocent April going in for some tongue with the nice man who can get her away from her father was bad enough, but as you said, the *mom's* response was what really amped the fucked-up to eleven. That was...dysfunctional.

I'm just glad that Christine has a purpose beyond gratuitous and Quinn-adjacent nudity. 'Cause that aspect of the show was really starting to wear thin.

I can't lie, though: my favourite bit was Deb having to monitor her mouth around the kids. That first "Fu-uuudge." was hilaaaarious. :)
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:November 24th, 2009 07:36 am (UTC)

Re: DEXTERRRRRRRR.

(Link)
I'm just glad that Christine has a purpose beyond gratuitous and Quinn-adjacent nudity. 'Cause that aspect of the show was really starting to wear thin.
Ha, I know! It was like, "Damn, we're Showtime, and this chick will get naked for us, so let's milk it!"
[User Picture]
From:the_narration
Date:November 24th, 2009 09:37 am (UTC)
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I feel like I might know #3... it's seemingly a book set in World War II... not a lot of other situations where somebody would be clutching a Springfield rifle and trying to write a haiku in his mind. (Catch-22 is clearly way off... that was about a pilot--which means he was an officer, not a Corporal--and he was in the Euorpean Theater, not the Pacific.)

I want to say Cryptonomicon, but I didn't think that opened with the WWII flashbacks....
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:November 24th, 2009 04:05 pm (UTC)
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It sure did.
[User Picture]
From:jenepel
Date:November 24th, 2009 11:36 am (UTC)
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#6 is Crime & Punishment (?) and I'm pretty sure that the_narration (*points up*) is right about Cryptonomicon too.

Also, Dealing With Dragons is awesome! I love that you have that one on here.

Edited at 2009-11-24 11:37 am (UTC)
[User Picture]
From:aderyn
Date:November 24th, 2009 12:18 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Just beaten me to #6! It's definitely Crime and Punishment as I studied it this year and we spent hours reading the opening looking for nuances of meaning!
[User Picture]
From:scifantasy
Date:November 24th, 2009 12:23 pm (UTC)
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3 is Cryptonomicon.
(Deleted comment)
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[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:November 24th, 2009 04:08 pm (UTC)
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YES!! THE BOOK IS SO MUCH BETTER! THE MOVIE IS NOTHING LIKE THE BOOK!!!!
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:sdwolfpup
Date:November 24th, 2009 02:49 pm (UTC)
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I wish I could copy and paste your whole Dexter section because that is EXACTLY my response to everything. From certainty that Angel or Maria were going to get shot to the giant WHAT! of everything having to do with the Mitchells. I actually shouted at loud "oh HELL no" when she said "Hi, Dad" at the end. And that dinner! Aieeeeeeeeeee!

And word to wanting to slap Harry. He's starting to piss me off, but that started last season for me.
[User Picture]
From:ashfae
Date:November 24th, 2009 04:07 pm (UTC)
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Awwww, I was beaten to 5 and 7, the only ones I've read. Oh well!
[User Picture]
From:musesfool
Date:November 24th, 2009 06:26 pm (UTC)
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10 is Absalom, Absalom by William Faulkner! The greatest novel ever written (maybe)! One of my favorites, anyway.
[User Picture]
From:punzerel
Date:November 24th, 2009 06:34 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Aw, you beat me to it. I was so excited that I knew the last empty one.

(PS: Sunil, I like your favourite books.)
[User Picture]
From:ahtrap
Date:November 24th, 2009 11:20 pm (UTC)
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#9 is lullaby, by that fight club guy whose name I can't ever spell right...Paluniak?

[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:November 24th, 2009 11:26 pm (UTC)
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Dude!! WELL DONE! I didn't think anyone would get it.

Chuck Palahniuk.

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