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No, You Girls Never Know How You Make a Boy Feel - The Book of the Celestial Cow

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September 30th, 2009


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11:40 pm - No, You Girls Never Know How You Make a Boy Feel
And sometimes she doesn't e-mail you like she said she would. Sometimes she doesn't respond to your voicemail suggesting dinner the next night or Saturday. Sometimes you have to admit that She's Just Not That into You.

Here's to never finding love and happiness, maybe next week.

No, wait, fuck that noise.

Because today I heard a man tell the story of how he was almost completely burned alive when he was nine years old, and the doctors all thought he would die, and he didn't, and he went on to live a good life and snag himself a hot wife. He likened life to giving birth: even though the contractions hurt like hell, you have to push since you know there's a beautiful baby waiting for you on the other side.

Because I went to my comic book store and discussed the Brubaker Daredevil run with one of the guys there—the one I had probably talked to more than anyone else there, the only one I thought maybe actually remembered me but I wasn't sure, the one to whom I finally formally introduced myself on Saturday—and he was really excited for me to get to the end of the run and was being careful not to spoil anything for me. And then after I spent a lot of time chatting with another of the guys about bad comic book movies, he pointed out a comic that they were giving out free and addressed me by name.

Because Dan (incidentist), who lives on the other side of the block, invited me to come over for dinner, which was an amazing chicken pot pie from Bakesale Betty's, along with cornbread and the Rice-a-Roni Spanish rice I made. His new roommates are cute girls, and one of them has a boyfriend (?) who really liked my rice, and we all played Scattergories. And I lasciviously read a description of cherry pie and made a hilarious joke about chiropractors being crack dealers that took the other girl a few tries to get, and she didn't want Dan's Jew hands to touch her plate, and we all laughed so much our stomachs may have burst. And then we watched Gummi Bears. GUMMI BEARS, YOU GUYS. This is my life.

So a(n albeit extremely) cute girl I talked to for a couple hours doesn't think I'm worth making time for. It is not la fin du monde. I am an awesome fucking guy, for fuck's sake. Let me believe that, just for tonight.
Current Mood: fullfull
Current Music: Radiohead - Airbag

(25 memoirs | Describe me as "inscrutable")

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:incidentist
Date:October 1st, 2009 06:53 am (UTC)
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Indeed, sir. Also you kick ass at Scattergories.

For posterity:

Just to see those crimson pie cherries glistening in the tart-sweet essence of their own juices sets your taste-buds a-tingle. Then your fork picks up the first bite in its flaky golden crust. You close your eyes and revel for this is ecstasy, this is the queen of flavor -- this is lucious, temptin' Cherry Pie.


Don't just sit there...

have some CHERRY PIE!


(sic)
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:October 1st, 2009 06:59 am (UTC)
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Also you kick ass at Scattergories.
Dude, I LOST.
[User Picture]
From:incidentist
Date:October 1st, 2009 07:07 am (UTC)
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Not on Saturday.
[User Picture]
From:cucumbersarnies
Date:October 1st, 2009 06:55 am (UTC)
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You are fucking awesome.
[User Picture]
From:latropita
Date:October 1st, 2009 06:58 am (UTC)
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I agree! You are a sweet, awesome dude, and there is joy out there for you.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:October 1st, 2009 07:00 am (UTC)
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Oh, icon.
[User Picture]
From:electricmonk
Date:October 1st, 2009 10:25 am (UTC)
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Yes, yes, yes, yes. Exactly. Don't stop believin'.
[User Picture]
From:lembeau
Date:October 1st, 2009 11:05 am (UTC)
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I am an awesome fucking guy, for fuck's sake. Let me believe that, just for tonight.

Believe that for the rest of your life, not just tonight.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:October 1st, 2009 01:59 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Tonight and the rest of my life?
[User Picture]
From:darlingviolenta
Date:October 1st, 2009 11:06 am (UTC)
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"I am an awesome fucking guy, for fuck's sake. Let me believe that, just for tonight."

Believe it, because it is true.
[User Picture]
From:soundingsea
Date:October 1st, 2009 12:24 pm (UTC)
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Ypu *are* awesome, and the right girl will appreciate that.
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:the_partyman
Date:October 1st, 2009 01:24 pm (UTC)
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I totally agree with all the above affirmations of your totaly fucking aweseomeness.
[User Picture]
From:scripted22
Date:October 1st, 2009 01:39 pm (UTC)
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I am an awesome fucking guy, for fuck's sake. Let me believe that, just for tonight.

Believe it now. Believe it always. Because it's true!

And because, as I learned long ago, you should never underestimate how attractive a little self-confidence is to a potential mate.
[User Picture]
From:amberlynne
Date:October 1st, 2009 01:58 pm (UTC)
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You are an awesome fucking guy EVERY NIGHT! And twice on Sundays! :D
From:wee_warrior
Date:October 1st, 2009 04:09 pm (UTC)
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You are, as always, an awesome fucking guy, for fuck's and anything else's sake.
[User Picture]
From:equustel
Date:October 1st, 2009 05:52 pm (UTC)
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Sunil, this is what's going to happen to you. One day, you're going to find That Girl who you adore, and who adores you back, and you're going to be all glowy all the time, and THEN. Then, all the other girls are going to come out of the woodwork and pay attention to you, and tell you how effing awesome you are. Right when you don't need them anymore. And when this happens, you will show off the Girl You Adore and the Fact That You're Taken and get indirect revenge on all the angst of yesteryears.

I tell you this because it's what happened to me. Only, y'know, with boys. ;)
[User Picture]
From:chasethestars
Date:October 1st, 2009 08:08 pm (UTC)
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Dude, you *are* an awesome fucking guy! And dashing and daring, courageous and caring, faithful and friendly... with stories to share.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:October 1st, 2009 09:10 pm (UTC)
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Aw, that's very sweet and alliterative. Thanks.
[User Picture]
From:bspalek
Date:October 1st, 2009 08:38 pm (UTC)
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Fuck that noise is right. It will happen. But I understand feeling jaded. The trick is to not let yourself become so jaded that you are closed off to the possiblity of happy ever after when you do finally meet her. (This is something I need to sometimes remind myself of as well).
[User Picture]
From:ahtrap
Date:October 1st, 2009 09:34 pm (UTC)

Dude, you're money, and you know it

(Link)
So this chick is missing out on the C-note that is you....her fucking loss.

One of these days, some girl is gonna hit the jackpot when she manages to get over herself enough to get to know you, to really get to know you.
[User Picture]
From:valancy
Date:October 2nd, 2009 04:45 pm (UTC)
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So a(n albeit extremely) cute girl I talked to for a couple hours doesn't think I'm worth making time for. It is not la fin du monde. I am an awesome fucking guy, for fuck's sake.

Damn straight, man. Damn straight!
[User Picture]
From:prophetkristy
Date:October 2nd, 2009 10:04 pm (UTC)
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hells yeah, you ARE awesome! Maybe even awesometastic!
[User Picture]
From:chrryblssmninja
Date:October 3rd, 2009 11:03 am (UTC)
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you are awesome! Keep on truckin' or something. Where did that phrase come from. Ah, I shouldn't think at 4 AM. Or take late night naps.


I'm still catching up on that Brubaker run!

I also really like the new "Marvels Project" thing he's doing. I'm only on issue 2. But his X-men stuff bores me. Why do they get the same writers to do everything?!!!!
[User Picture]
From:thetheatremouse
Date:October 14th, 2009 01:38 am (UTC)
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I would kinda love to hang out and watch Gummi Bears with you. I am all about that.

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