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Cabbage, As We All Know, Is the Most Radiant of the Vegetables - The Book of the Celestial Cow

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July 19th, 2009


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09:40 pm - Cabbage, As We All Know, Is the Most Radiant of the Vegetables
She was having problems with her mouth, having put in it hot chicken gorgonzola right out of the oven. The Trader Joe's sample table can be dangerous! She was waving her hand in front of her mouth, trying to cool it down. It was very cute, as was she, and I smiled at her, and she smiled at me. The redhead dispensing samples told her there was some juice.

The girl said that she had just popped it in her mouth because she was hungry. "'Don't shop hungry,'" I said. "That's what they always say." In the presence of cute girls, I tend to babble. "Although I am also hungry," I admitted. "But there's a Togo's across the way, so I've got that covered." ("Togo's, huh?") I handed her a glass for her juice, and she thanked me. She used up the last of the juice, and the redhead replaced it.

"Would you like some juice?" the girl asked me.

"I would!" I said, and smiled. She poured me some pomegranate limeade.

"Take care," she said, as she continued her shopping and I continued mine. I was not sure what else I needed. I wandered the aisles and ended up having an extensive conversation with a cute single woman about spaghetti sauce.

I did see the cute girl putting things into her cart, but I had no excuse to say anything. Until we were both in one of the frozen food aisles and I noticed that she had the chicken gorgonzola in her hand.

"Ah, they got you!" I said. It was true, they had. I had been gotten before, too. I pointed out the mini veggie corn dogs and extolled their virtues. She picked them up and looked at the box, asking me how big they were. I said I usually had two, with dijon mustard. She was sold.

"The secrets of Trader Joe's!" she said, thanking me for my recommendation. I commented that the Trader Joe's shopping experience really was different from shopping at a regular grocery store. She thought a lot of it was glee at the low prices. I mentioned the branding; everything was "Trader Joe's This" and "Trader Joe's That," so it was special and you could only get it here. And you have to buy it or they stop carrying it, she added. I lamented the discontinuation of the amazing milk chocolate covered peanuts that tasted like Snickers without everything else. She showed me a couple things she recommended, including the mochi balls, which she said were the best thing ever.

We individually ended up in the next aisle over, naturally, and I commented on her choice of black bean and corn enchiladas, which were very good. But I told her I had recently discovered that the chicken burritos were really good, especially for a microwave burrito. She decided to get a pack of those instead.

We had been talking a lot by this time, so I said, "What's your name?" Jen. Sunil. We shook hands.

I also recommended the relatively new Indian frozen meals, which I said were surprisingly good, practically restaurant quality. She examined them and ended up picking up a paneer tikka masala. Then she said she needed some energy bars, which reminded me that I needed some energy bars.

"I need some energy bars since I'm going to Comic-Con," I said in an obvious ploy to determine her Geek Quotient. Sadly, it was 0, as she didn't know what it was. So I explained it to her, and she said it sounded cool. She was not into comics, but she knew people who really were.

She said Lara bars were really good, and I said I felt weird having those, as a man. Then I realized that was Luna bars—The Whole Nutrition Bar for Women—and corrected myself, and then she got it and laughed. "Like, can I eat this?" I said. "Is it full of estrogen?"

"I'm just grabbing all this food!" she said as she began pushing her cart away. "It must be because I'm hungry."

"I'm going to Togo's afterward," I said, motioning behind me. Then I added, to be a little more clear, "That will satisfy your...hunger."

Now getting it, she replied, "Oh, I'm good, but thank you! It was nice meeting you." She confirmed my name before leaving.

It had been a long shot, but I had taken it, and that's what counted.

Besides, Togo's closed ten minutes before I made it there.
Current Mood: quixoticquixotic
Current Music: Bright Eyes - Lover I Don't Have to Love

(48 memoirs | Describe me as "inscrutable")

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:prophetkristy
Date:July 20th, 2009 04:47 am (UTC)
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Go you!

I miss Trader Joe's so much. Stupid south central Washington.

Also: chicken gorgonzola sounds awesome.

Edited at 2009-07-20 04:48 am (UTC)
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:July 20th, 2009 04:51 am (UTC)
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It was more chicken than gorgonzola, sadly. I couldn't really get a taste of the cheese.
[User Picture]
From:bookie85
Date:July 20th, 2009 05:52 am (UTC)
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I know! Darn our lack of TJ's in most of WA state. (SW corner dweller here.)
[User Picture]
From:adnirem
Date:July 20th, 2009 04:47 am (UTC)
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Fast-forward six months: spaghetti girl aisle woman is the love of your life.

Side story: I have never been to a Trader Joe's but *have* eaten some of their stuff, thanks to Julia and Moss.

Lamentable: she will miss out on your stunning dinner conversation skills (I already said this in Gchat but I wanted to brag about having had dinner with you MORE THAN ONCE IN MULTIPLE CITIES.)

Also: love.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:July 20th, 2009 04:53 am (UTC)
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Fast-forward six months: spaghetti girl aisle woman is the love of your life.
We did have a good thing going! She was all, "This would be great if I had five people in the house, but it's just me." And I was all, "Why, I live alone too, let's make out!" Well, not all of that.

Side story: I have never been to a Trader Joe's but *have* eaten some of their stuff, thanks to Julia and Moss.
It is good stuff from a good store.

Lamentable: she will miss out on your stunning dinner conversation skills (I already said this in Gchat but I wanted to brag about having had dinner with you MORE THAN ONCE IN MULTIPLE CITIES.)
A DINNER IN EVERY PORT.

Also: love.
Love.
[User Picture]
From:cerulgalactus
Date:July 20th, 2009 04:59 am (UTC)
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Well played, sir. Regardless of result.
From:toastandtea
Date:July 20th, 2009 05:00 am (UTC)
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AWWWW. You are adorable for having cute chats in a grocery store. My demeanor while grocery shopping tends to be "*surly surly surly* GET OUT OF MY WAY, OTHER SHOPPERS *surly*" No wonder i am such a social butterfly! :|

"I need some energy bars since I'm going to Comic-Con," I said in an obvious ploy to determine her Geek Quotient. Sadly, it was 0, as she didn't know what it was.

LAME. (also: i want to go to Comic-Con! JEALOUS. FRIGGIN CALIFORNIANS.)

I have never been to a Trader Joe's! Florida doesn't have hip things.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:July 20th, 2009 05:11 am (UTC)
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i want to go to Comic-Con! JEALOUS. FRIGGIN CALIFORNIANS.
I want you to go to Comic-Con too, so I can meet you! AND PEOPLE OTHER THAN CALIFORNIANS ARE GOING, MISS.

I have never been to a Trader Joe's! Florida doesn't have hip things.
Yes, but you have people with artificial hips.
From:toastandtea
Date:July 20th, 2009 05:50 am (UTC)
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But... it's... more convenient for Californians! And stuff! SIGH.

Yes, but you have people with artificial hips.

ZING! Well played.
[User Picture]
From:electricmonk
Date:July 20th, 2009 05:03 am (UTC)
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Yes yes YES. Good work, friend. You keep taking the long shots, and each one you take makes you bolder, and eventually, one of them works out. Or so I've been telling myself.

I've been suckered by TJ's samples before, too. Flatbread with hummus. Mmmm.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:July 20th, 2009 05:12 am (UTC)
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You keep taking the long shots, and each one you take makes you bolder, and eventually, one of them works out. Or so I've been telling myself.
And so miniglik has been telling me!

I've been suckered by TJ's samples before, too.
The paneer tikka masala was also a sample sale.
[User Picture]
From:electricmonk
Date:July 20th, 2009 05:20 am (UTC)
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The lady on the foodie radio show was also talking about paneer today. Now I want some. Right. Now. Damn it.
[User Picture]
From:the_narration
Date:July 20th, 2009 05:05 am (UTC)
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Well done, young man, well done.

You have to be prepared to hit a lot of dead ends and take a lot of disappointments before you finally find the one that things work out with.
[User Picture]
From:sabra_n
Date:July 20th, 2009 05:10 am (UTC)
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Mochi balls are, indeed, awesome. I recommend the strawberry flavor. (Less so the green tea, which surprised me since I love green tea ice cream.)
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:July 20th, 2009 05:13 am (UTC)
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I think I've had the green tea ones, which I did not like, so I never tried them. She had chocolate, which I could deal with if I knew what the hell they were.
[User Picture]
From:sabra_n
Date:July 20th, 2009 05:37 am (UTC)
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They're little balls made of ice cream wrapped in mochi, which is a kind of dough made out of pulverized rice. They're finger food.
[User Picture]
From:rachelmanija
Date:July 20th, 2009 05:32 am (UTC)
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Go you!

The conclusion is like every pick-up attempt I've ever made.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:July 20th, 2009 05:52 am (UTC)
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Oh, perfect icon for this post.

I have not made very many pick-up attempts. But I imagine most go like that, since I am not in Entourage.
[User Picture]
From:catatonia00
Date:July 20th, 2009 05:34 am (UTC)
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Is it true that you can generate electricity from cabbage? Well, not you in a KB Elle-ctric way per se.

I think you've been doing great at expanding your foody horizons and girl approaches. Btw the food talk is charming and sexy. Especially the dessert and sweets centric. Go Sunil, Go Sunil!

Edited at 2009-07-20 05:36 am (UTC)
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:July 20th, 2009 05:54 am (UTC)
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Is it true that you can generate electricity from cabbage?
I have never heard that! I know you can do it with a pickle, though. Well, not generate, but conduct.

Btw the food talk is charming and sexy. Especially the dessert and sweets centric. Go Sunil, Go Sunil!
"Oh, how big are the corn dogs? Let me tell you about MY corn dog..."
[User Picture]
From:catatonia00
Date:July 20th, 2009 06:15 am (UTC)
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May have been pickles. My brain doesn't store and process a thing. And at the same time, imagines ridiculous things like a pickle train conductor with a hat.

Stick to the sweets, you dope! Not the savory snacks that rhyme with 'horn dog.' Although talk of nuts is permissable in doses; only if associated with ice cream, caramel or chocolate.
[User Picture]
From:the_narration
Date:July 21st, 2009 10:37 am (UTC)
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You can generate electricity from any fruit or vegetable that contains acid with a couple pieces of metal. Actually, it's really the metals that create the electricity, the acid in the food product just makes it possible. Lemons, usually, because they have so much acid, but potatos and apples work, too.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lemon_battery
[User Picture]
From:electricmonk
Date:July 20th, 2009 03:49 pm (UTC)
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I don't know about electricity, but you can make pH indicator!
[User Picture]
From:par_avion
Date:July 20th, 2009 06:03 am (UTC)
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I agree with cute girl, Larabars are yummy. I like the chocolate one.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:July 20th, 2009 06:08 am (UTC)
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They seemed small, though. I need a better dollar/ounce value, given that they may well indeed substitute for breakfast and/or lunch.
[User Picture]
From:sophia_helix
Date:July 20th, 2009 06:31 am (UTC)
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*applauds you enthusiastically*

(I am so freaking lucky that I met my first-and-last serious relationship at age almost-18 because we were talking about X-Files and Ray Bradbury. Otherwise I would have about a dozen cats right now and would die alone because I can't talk to people to save my life.)

Strawberry mochi are the best! The yummiest Luna bar flavors are chai and chocolate peppermint. Also, was this the Emeryville TJs? That place is the worst-laid-out store ever. Once I waited in a line that went to the back wall.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:July 20th, 2009 06:37 am (UTC)
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Ha, yes it was! It is the one I go to most often since it's close to my office, so it's the one I know the best and am most comfortable with. There's one on College that's close to me, but it confuses me because it's laid out differently. I like my Trader Joe's!!

I suppose I will try these mochi and bars. The Luna bars I got were lemon zest and nuts over chocolate. I got a chocolate mint Clif bar, and I don't think I even saw chai.

Edited at 2009-07-20 06:37 am (UTC)
[User Picture]
From:sophia_helix
Date:July 20th, 2009 06:43 am (UTC)
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I remembered lemon zest after I hit post, so, good on you! Also, Clif bars taste like chewy adobe bricks to me. After the apocalypse that's all there will be left to eat.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:July 20th, 2009 06:52 am (UTC)
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I had a chocolate brownie one that was decent. I like Odwalla bars, but they didn't have them.

Lemon zest seemed like a good one to have for breakfast. Otherwise I will have a lot of chocolate for breakfast. And lunch.
[User Picture]
From:rowanceleste
Date:July 20th, 2009 07:39 am (UTC)
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Yay for you talking to cute girls!

As a TJ recommendation, you should get their organic vanilla/banana flavored yogurt! There's only a hint of banana, but it cuts that tang of normal vanilla yogurt perfectly!
[User Picture]
From:chrryblssmninja
Date:July 20th, 2009 08:55 am (UTC)
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aww
[User Picture]
From:punzerel
Date:July 20th, 2009 11:34 am (UTC)
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YAY! Excuse me while I go don a cheerleader outfit and get some pompoms to cheer you on. That is so fantastic. I most certainly would never have had the courage (but would be totally flattered to be asked out by a nice boy in an awesome grocery store, as I bet Gorgonzola Girl was).
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:July 20th, 2009 02:47 pm (UTC)
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Flattered...or CREEPED OUT?

It helped that I basically did not expect her to say yes at all because/so what the hell.
[User Picture]
From:punzerel
Date:July 20th, 2009 02:58 pm (UTC)
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No, you definitely fall under Category: Flattering rather than Category: CREEPER ALERT. You a) are in her age bracket b) presumably don't smell bad/don't have a crazy-hermit appearance c) flirted/talked with her intermittently before the dinner invite (as opposed to being immediately all "HEY THAT GORGONZOLA SURE IS HOT AND SO ARE YOU, BABY, LET'S GET MAAARRIIIEED") d) acted casual about it and e) are cute! Also, you didn't follow her clingily around the store after the initial encounter. Conclusion: A+ flirting technique! There are so many Creeper Encounters in a girl's life that a nice non-creeper encounter like this would definitely have left her feeling flattered and smiley about boys.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:July 20th, 2009 03:09 pm (UTC)
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Also, you didn't follow her clingily around the store after the initial encounter.
Not OBVIOUSLY. Hee. I did keep a lookout, though. It's a small store, so it's not unlikely that we would both go to the same aisle. But I tried not to pay direct attention to her so she didn't, you know, feel like I was following her around deliberately.

I hope she left feeling flattered and smiley rather than weirded out and awkward.
[User Picture]
From:ashfae
Date:July 20th, 2009 12:02 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Ah, sigh, I've still never been to Trader Joes. Someday, someday.

And raaaah, go you!
[User Picture]
From:schnappycat
Date:July 20th, 2009 04:36 pm (UTC)
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Go you! ;)

We don't have Trader Joe's here. It's very sad.
[User Picture]
From:mina5643
Date:July 20th, 2009 05:34 pm (UTC)
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You had me at decent frozen Indian food. I have *got* to try it now. To trader joe's!

(psst. at least you tried getting a date, there's always next time)

Geek quotient = 0. Not worth it anyhow :p
[User Picture]
From:sterope
Date:July 20th, 2009 07:10 pm (UTC)
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I went to Trader Joe's today and got many things mentioned in this post: paneer tikka masala, chicken burritos, and mochi. I've always been curious about the mochi. I got the strawberry one because that seemed to be the most popular. I also got cheese. Trader Joe's is totally the place to buy cheese.
[User Picture]
From:marble_blue
Date:July 20th, 2009 09:11 pm (UTC)
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Poor Sunil! At least you tried and won't be left wondering "what if?".
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:kali921
Date:July 21st, 2009 12:30 am (UTC)
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I view shopping as a demolition sport. Perhaps that's because I confine my shopping to the Berkeley Bowl and Whole Foods.

This means that when I enter the store, I go all Vanishing Point Rollerball Black Canary John McClane Die Harder Motherfucker Crusher Creel I am the Road Warrior GET OUT OF MY WAY when I am reaching for my rice milk and radicchio or I will brain you with my handbasket and right hook you with my tin of white extra-virgin tea.

I think part of this is due to two things: 1) my mother is from New York City, and thus she has taught me that a good shopping experience is a fast shopping experience, and 2) I have noted that no matter where you are in the Bay Area, once someone walks into Whole Foods (or the Bowl), their IQ tends to drop by about forty points as does their spatial coordination. Seriously. It's all Soylent Green spaced-out zombies up in the joint, and this girl is not amused. I don't care if you're moping around the plantains, get out of my way or I will violate you with this daikon in my hand.


For the record, I'm a pacifist. :-)

Needless to say, only the bravest of men approach me in the grocery store, but the ones that DO are quite memorable. As for Geek Cred™? There's an astonishingly handsome guy that works at a branch of Whole Foods. He has a voice like James Mason.

I walked in one day with my SHAZAM!WALLY WEST! bag slung over my shoulder, and he made a beeline for me and said in this rich, deep Morpheus voice: "Captain Marvel or the Flash?"

The next thing I knew, we were deep into a conversation about Alan Moore, why Jean Grey was awesome, why Emma Frost sucks, why John Stewart rocks, various comic blogs, Polite Dissent, War Machine, and I looked up at the clock and an HOUR had gone by.

So hold tight to that dream of meeting a girl with geek credentials at a sample table. Don't you let go, my friend. One day you will find her!


Edited at 2009-07-21 12:31 am (UTC)
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:July 21st, 2009 02:09 am (UTC)
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Aw, I love random awesome conversations with strangers, especially hot ones. (It's funny that you think Jean Grey was awesome and Emma Frost sucks, as my friend Seanan has the exact opposite opinions.)
[User Picture]
From:kali921
Date:July 21st, 2009 02:42 am (UTC)
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Aw, I love random awesome conversations with strangers, especially hot ones. (It's funny that you think Jean Grey was awesome and Emma Frost sucks, as my friend Seanan has the exact opposite opinions.)

I don't truck with those people.

Jean represents my formative years getting into comics. Jean, in many ways (depending on the writer), represents everything I want to be as a person (along with the Silver Surfer and Diana of Themyscira). Emma Frost, on the other hand, set back feminism in comics by twenty years as soon as Grant Morrison tried to convince us that a woman who mind rapes the object of her desire and bullies him into an extramarital affair and then acts like a hateful wench to everyone around her is somehow desireable. On a meta level Emma represents everything wrong with the way the men that run the industry view women. There's a reason that Emma has no female friends except in fanfic.

The best part of Joss Whedon's run on the AXM book was when Kitty Pryde went all ninja and phase!punched through a wall into Emma's face.

I love random awesome convos with strangers too! I don't get enough of them these days!
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:July 21st, 2009 04:11 am (UTC)
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I don't truck with those people.
Some of those people may be worth trucking with, you never know.

Jean, in many ways (depending on the writer), represents everything I want to be as a person
How so? All I know of Jean Grey is that she goes evil and dies. And then comes back to life and dies again, rinse, repeat. And is cloned or whatever. And everyone is in love with her. I have no sense of her as a character. I read Claremont's Dark Phoenix Saga, but that's pretty much it. I have nothing against her, though.

Emma Frost, on the other hand, set back feminism in comics by twenty years as soon as Grant Morrison tried to convince us that a woman who mind rapes the object of her desire and bullies him into an extramarital affair and then acts like a hateful wench to everyone around her is somehow desireable.
I think I vaguely know about the weird psychic love affair thing since I read Joss's AXM (and then did some Wikipedia reading to figure out what the hell was going on). And so I have a better feel for Emma...or at least current Emma. My introduction to Emma was in the animated series when she was still the White Queen, running the Hellfire Club. She seems like a more interesting character to me.
[User Picture]
From:soundingsea
Date:July 22nd, 2009 11:30 pm (UTC)
(Link)
pomegranate limeade

Yum!

Also, were there no ironchefjoe, I would totally be seduced by your grocery-store savvy and casual dinner invites. TRUFAX.
[User Picture]
From:thetheatremouse
Date:July 25th, 2009 01:05 am (UTC)
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mini veggie corn dogs
I very recently tried those for the first time! Save for the chicken-ey items, you and I seem to eat a lot of the same food from Trader Joe's.

How can someone not know what Comic Con is? It's become so...widely discussed by mainstream media in the past few years.

Also, this story is adorable and you were very brave.
[User Picture]
From:bsidetales
Date:July 29th, 2009 12:01 am (UTC)
(Link)
Good job!

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