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To Read Makes Our Speaking English Good - The Book of the Celestial Cow

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May 27th, 2009


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06:52 pm - To Read Makes Our Speaking English Good
I've fallen a little in love with the ridiculousness of this Reuters article:

"Proud non-reader" Kanye West turns author.

A few choice quotes, if you will:
Rapper Kanye West does not read books or respect them but nevertheless he has written one that he would like you to buy and read.
Best opening line of a Reuters article ever?
"Sometimes people write novels and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed," West said. "I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book's autograph.
I WOULD TOTALLY WANT A BOOK'S AUTOGRAPH. DUDE.
"I am a proud non-reader of books. I like to get information from doing stuff like actually talking to people and living real life," he said.
Everyone knows books are useless as sources of information! Nor do they represent real life in anyway, apart from the dragons and spaceships.
"My mom taught me to believe in my flyness and conquer my shyness," he said, defining "flyness" as confidence.
Sometimes journalism is hilarious. Of note: said mom was an ENGLISH PROFESSOR.

But wait, there's more!
"He inspired the format of the book, because he wrote a book called 'Think, Think, Think and Think Again,'" Kanye explained to MTV News of his co-author Sandifer. "[He did] bullet points in bold graphics, and he expounded upon them ... whereas books hide the main points chapters in. You have to read so much to get so much out of it. We wanted to make it simple for people who are non-readers, who don't feel like doing all that, and still get the point across."
Will no one think of the non-readers?? God, I hate that you have to read so much to get something out of a book! Chapters, you guys. CHAPTERS.

Go out there and read a book today. Do it for Kanye's mom.
Current Mood: sillysilly
Current Music: Tori Amos - Butterfly (Chaos Mix)

(38 memoirs | Describe me as "inscrutable")

Comments:


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[User Picture]
From:sdwolfpup
Date:May 28th, 2009 01:54 am (UTC)
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A friend sent me that first link earlier this morning. I think my entire reaction can best be summed up as:

O.o
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:May 28th, 2009 02:24 am (UTC)
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Karen agrees.
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From:sophia_helix
Date:May 28th, 2009 02:13 am (UTC)
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LOLOLOL.

Books! So wordy!
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From:spectralbovine
Date:May 28th, 2009 02:22 am (UTC)
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Such a chore!

(I have a sound wav of your icon quote!)
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From:raelee
Date:May 28th, 2009 02:18 am (UTC)
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I... I... Huh.
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From:spectralbovine
Date:May 28th, 2009 02:23 am (UTC)
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I cannot understand how someone can "not be a fan of books." Especially for those reasons.

Thing is, I know there are other "proud non-readers" out there. Baffling.
[User Picture]
From:kammgirl
Date:May 28th, 2009 02:21 am (UTC)
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Okay I think I may pass out with laughter. This is freaking hilarious. I just c&p'ed it to a friend in IM.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:May 28th, 2009 02:24 am (UTC)
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I've been posting it everywhere. It's just so awesome.
From:sainfoin_fields
Date:May 28th, 2009 02:22 am (UTC)
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Haha, I ~tweeted~ about this yesterday. If Kanye is serious about becoming a doper person he's going to have to rethink his position on books' autographs.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:May 28th, 2009 02:23 am (UTC)
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Getting a book's autograph would be TOTALLY DOPE.
[User Picture]
From:stephl
Date:May 28th, 2009 02:40 am (UTC)
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I WOULD TOTALLY WANT A BOOK'S AUTOGRAPH. DUDE.

INORITE?!?
[User Picture]
From:pseudo_tsuga
Date:May 28th, 2009 02:42 am (UTC)
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I am loling forever.
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From:arie
Date:May 28th, 2009 02:42 am (UTC)
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I think everyone within five miles of me, including my CAT, just got stupider because I read this. And some of my neighbors seriously couldn't afford to get any dumber...
[User Picture]
From:jeremytblack
Date:May 28th, 2009 03:30 am (UTC)
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That was the funniest damned thing I've read in weeks.

Well, that didn't include bullet points.
[User Picture]
From:mycenae
Date:May 28th, 2009 03:30 am (UTC)
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Pretty much everything he says is complete nonsense, albeit amusing in a lolwut? kind of way. I kinda think he's faking it.

The book is 52 pages long, some of the pages are blank, AND he needed a coauthor? Well, I guess someone had to take over after he broke his MacBook Air with all that hard typing...
From:serrana
Date:May 28th, 2009 03:48 am (UTC)
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I am betting Kanye's mom called him up this morning and was all, "Sweetie? We need to talk." *snerk*
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:May 28th, 2009 04:23 am (UTC)
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I kind of doubt that, given that his mom died two years ago!

Although, really, if anything would incite a call from beyond the grave...
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From:cofax7
Date:May 28th, 2009 04:18 am (UTC)
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Not enough WTF in the world.
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From:minim_calibre
Date:May 28th, 2009 05:14 am (UTC)
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I SWEAR, HE IS PURE AWESOME!

He's like Andy Warhol for our time.
[User Picture]
From:minim_calibre
Date:May 28th, 2009 05:23 am (UTC)
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Seriously, though, his blog is fascinating. It's mostly visuals (his interests are clearly architecture and modern art, judging by the things he links to and posts), with, as I recall, an occasional rant.

http://www.kanyeuniversecity.com/blog/

He obviously consumes a lot of visual media and takes it very seriously.
[User Picture]
From:cerulgalactus
Date:May 28th, 2009 05:41 am (UTC)
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Even if I was a non-reader, just knowing that that assclown is a non-reader would make me run out and buy an entire Borders, just to NOT be like him.

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