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Titanic in Five Seconds - The Book of the Celestial Cow

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February 7th, 2005


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12:41 am - Titanic in Five Seconds
So I was reading cleolinda of Movies in Fifteen Minutes fame today, and she was frustrated at not being able to finish Titanic, twenty-nine pages in.

I made a post, entirely to amuse myself and maybe give her a good laugh, and apparently, it was really funny, so I thought I'd preserve it in my own journal.

Also, twenty-nine pages? Damn, I thought these were Movies in Fifteen Minutes. Can't you cut out all the, I don't know, people, and write the whole movie from the perspective of the ship?

TITANIC: All good.

TITANIC: Yeah, all good.

TITANIC: Damn, this is a lot of people.

DOLPHINS: Eek, click click!

TITANIC: Fucking dolphins.

TITANIC: OMGWTF ICEBERG!!

The end.
bast_setesh added:

You forgot:

ICEBERG: I cut you, bitch!

TITANIC: Oh, sh--*garblegarble*
I made a lot of people laugh, and was offered an earlobe-lick, so that was cool. Oh, and I also discovered I'd been pseudowanked.
Current Mood: pleasedpleased
Current Music: Green Day - Homecoming

(7 memoirs | Describe me as "inscrutable")

Comments:


From:fishinginthemud
Date:February 7th, 2005 05:54 am (UTC)
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You and your ego.

*sigh*

It was very funny, though.
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From:elbales
Date:February 7th, 2005 07:26 am (UTC)
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Hullo. Sticking my head in the virtual door to say Bravo, Good show, all that happy crap. If you write an entry about the whole STD-by-sneezing thing (God! Just ow), will you mention it in Cleo's journal? I bet more than one of her regular readers would like to see it.
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From:spectralbovine
Date:February 8th, 2005 03:57 pm (UTC)
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Done.
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From:ariiadne
Date:February 7th, 2005 10:02 am (UTC)
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Ahahahaha.

That is good, good stuff.

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From:incidentist
Date:February 7th, 2005 05:29 pm (UTC)
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What's great is that I can find it hilarious even though I haven't seen the movie. Best of both worlds.
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From:alliterator
Date:February 8th, 2005 04:24 am (UTC)

Ha ha! [/Nelson]

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You were wanked! You were wanked!
*whisper* I wish I were wanked.

Okay, that sounds dirty. But seriously, how can anybody point out a wank on TWoP? I mean, that is like the antiwank. Anything an argument descends into the wankzone, the mods just shut it down.

Have I used the word 'wank' too many times?

Oh, and you Titanic post is hilarious. Mine would have just been:

TITANIC BUILDER: This ship is unsinkable!
IRONY: Oh, I think not.
TITANIC CAPTAIN: Agh! Iceberg! We're going to hit it!
TITANIC: *sinks*
IRONY: Hah. You're all my bitches.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:February 8th, 2005 04:27 am (UTC)

Re: Ha ha! [/Nelson]

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But seriously, how can anybody point out a wank on TWoP? I mean, that is like the antiwank.

Yeah, like it said, it didn't end up being truly wankworthy since we weren't even fighting or acting like five-year-olds.

TITANIC BUILDER: This ship is unsinkable!
IRONY: Oh, I think not.
TITANIC CAPTAIN: Agh! Iceberg! We're going to hit it!
TITANIC: *sinks*
IRONY: Hah. You're all my bitches.


Hee hee. Good one.

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