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If I'm Going to Have a Future, I Prefer It to Be Multiple Choice! - The Book of the Celestial Cow

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July 23rd, 2008


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09:14 am - If I'm Going to Have a Future, I Prefer It to Be Multiple Choice!
Say your aunt calls you up one Tuesday night around 8:30 and asks if you want to come down to Santa Cruz...because she's got a girl you might be interested in. She's born and raised in America, but she's been working in India as a journalist (finally, not an accountant!) for the last three years. She was an English major. Your aunt thinks you might be a good match, but the girl is leaving the next day. Part of the problem with this whole arranged marriage deal is that it's hard to meet the girl in person if she's not local. What do you do?

A) Nothing. Girls, marriage, whatever. Fish in the sea, etc.

B) Get her contact information so you can e-mail her or something. She does sound interesting.

C) Ask your aunt to put this hypothetically awesome girl—who must be made of gold or something—on the phone.

D) Drive nearly eighty miles down to the Santa Cruz Boardwalk to spend a couple hours with this random girl you know nothing about.

If you chose D, congratulations! You might be me.

Wait, hold up, step off, buddy! Did you walk with her along the beach by the water and discuss your jobs and education? Did the conversation really take off once she mentioned that your aunt had told her that you "read a lot"? Were you surprised that her response to your comment that, actually, you've been reading a lot of comics lately was "Which ones?!"? Did she, like several others, recommend Haruki Murakami's The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle? Did you disagree about how relevant The Namesake was to your generation? Did you find that conversation was not magically unawkward just because you had things to talk about? Did you drive her back to Belmont to give you guys another hour to talk? Did you discuss Hindi films and their propensity to remake American movies without giving them any credit at all? Did you impress her with your theatre background? Did you search for things to say during the silences? Did you meet her dad? Did you exchange e-mail addresses so you could send her your stories and she could send you hers when she wrote them? Did you discover the next morning that she doesn't have a brother, so even if further correspondence turns your common interests into mutual attraction, your parents might not think she's good wife material?

You did? Damn, dude. You want to trade lives? Because mine is fucking ridiculous.
Current Mood: crazycrazy
Current Music: Stuart Davis - Smoke [in my head]

(110 memoirs | Describe me as "inscrutable")

Comments:


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[User Picture]
From:missquita
Date:July 23rd, 2008 04:18 pm (UTC)
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a) Whee! Yes, Sunil, yes!

b) Perfect icon.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:July 23rd, 2008 04:33 pm (UTC)
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Oh, you're right. I just picked it because I don't use it enough and it has a beach, but you're right.
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From:soundingsea
Date:July 23rd, 2008 04:19 pm (UTC)
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Well, if your aunt thought she was suitable, then maybe your parents will too! The whole "having a brother" thing seems kinda arbitrary anyhow.

And how could she not adore you? You're the Cow of Awesome, after all. :)
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:July 23rd, 2008 04:23 pm (UTC)
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It is apparently quite possible not to adore me, as this process has proved.
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From:eponis
Date:July 23rd, 2008 04:19 pm (UTC)
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Hey, congratulations for meeting someone who sounds really cool. :-) She's a lucky woman. I hope things work out well for you both, however the compatibilities and sparks shake out.
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From:tamarai
Date:July 23rd, 2008 04:23 pm (UTC)
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Yes, what they said! Hooray for possibilities...

Now, tell us if she's hot!
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:July 23rd, 2008 04:24 pm (UTC)
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Ha ha ha. That's the important part, right? She's cute.
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From:bookie85
Date:July 23rd, 2008 04:23 pm (UTC)
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OMG Yay! Dating can be exciting when it goes well!
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From:punzerel
Date:July 23rd, 2008 04:23 pm (UTC)
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Seeeriously? Fantastic! If she turns out to be dateable, then I'm sure you can organize the rest of your family to waive the parental borther requirement (which, what? has this ever been explained?).
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From:spectralbovine
Date:July 23rd, 2008 04:27 pm (UTC)
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No, it has not. Not by my parents, at least. My aunt posits it's due to one of two old myths/traditions: her having a brother is evidence that she can bear a son (which is a genetically unsound conclusion), and if she has a brother, her parents have someone else to take care of them when they get old.
[User Picture]
From:vonniek
Date:July 23rd, 2008 04:27 pm (UTC)
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Did I miss something? What does her having a brother or not have anything to do with her suitability as a wife candidate? *is puzzled*

Well, OK, there have been some grandma-type folks I know from the old country who frowned upon girls from families where male offsprings are scarce because then, she may only bear you unworthy girls and not awesome boys when you are ready to spawn! Since having lots of boys clearly runs in the family and doesn't have anything to do with random sperms having X or Y chromosomes or anything scientific like that. *facepalm*

That said, she sounds kinda cool. Hope this works out for you!
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:July 23rd, 2008 04:31 pm (UTC)
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Vonnie, see above. Nail on the head.

She's pretty cool. I figured that even if we didn't make a Love Connection, it was at least confirmation that, hey, there are Indian girls interested in the same things I'm interested in. So all hope is not lost. Mostly.
(Deleted comment)
From:sainfoin_fields
Date:July 23rd, 2008 04:33 pm (UTC)
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Walk of game, what up!
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From:spectralbovine
Date:July 23rd, 2008 04:49 pm (UTC)
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Ha ha, I have not heard that expression before! It sounds better than the walk of shame!
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From:sdwolfpup
Date:July 23rd, 2008 04:35 pm (UTC)
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She sounds very cool; and that's interesting about the brother requirement. Good luck with future communications with her! :)
[User Picture]
From:daynr
Date:July 23rd, 2008 04:38 pm (UTC)
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oooh nice. You've made a new friend! And you know the double benefit of new friends? They have friends who could be awesome and perfect too!
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:July 23rd, 2008 04:50 pm (UTC)
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Everything's connected!
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From:chasethestars
Date:July 23rd, 2008 04:41 pm (UTC)
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omgyay! i'm excited for you :D
[User Picture]
From:arie
Date:July 23rd, 2008 04:42 pm (UTC)

On the brother issue:

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Since her having a brother or not only reflects on her mother's ability to have boys and not her own (let's just throw out all that scientific nonsense for the sake of argument here), does she have any Uncles? If you can prove "boys run in the family" would that negate the brother requirement?

Unless the issue is someone else to care for elderly parents, in which case, uh, I got nothing...

Edited at 2008-07-23 04:43 pm (UTC)
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:July 23rd, 2008 04:52 pm (UTC)

Re: On the brother issue:

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Heh, I have no idea. If the issue arises, I guess I'll deal with it. Maybe I'll just get lucky, and my Perfect Woman will have a brother.
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From:tigeremme
Date:July 23rd, 2008 04:43 pm (UTC)
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oh, oh ... oh ... yay.
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From:harper47
Date:July 23rd, 2008 04:46 pm (UTC)
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You lead such an interesting life. Hope this works out for you.
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From:80sfiend
Date:July 23rd, 2008 04:50 pm (UTC)
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Aww yay. :) I hope this works out for you. :)
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From:incidentist
Date:July 23rd, 2008 04:52 pm (UTC)
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Excellent! I'm rootin for ya.

Clearly what is needed is to get someone to pretend to be her brother. I smell a screwball comedy!
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From:ariiadne
Date:July 23rd, 2008 05:16 pm (UTC)
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Dan, are you ready for the ROLE OF YOUR LIFE??
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From:annabelleonyx
Date:July 23rd, 2008 05:02 pm (UTC)
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Wow that is so... frustrating. Bert suggests that you just make up a brother.
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From:gchick
Date:July 23rd, 2008 05:07 pm (UTC)
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D was an amazingly awesome choice to make! But you should totally get your aunt to reimburse you for the gas, times being what they are.

(And the made-up brother idea is perfect. I see Kal Penn in the role, with predictable consequences.)
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:July 23rd, 2008 05:13 pm (UTC)
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D was an amazingly awesome choice to make!
Like Orbital says, it's better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven't done.

But you should totally get your aunt to reimburse you for the gas, times being what they are.
Oh my God, seriously, I'm out like half a tank of gas.

I see Kal Penn in the role, with predictable consequences.
Hee.
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From:miniglik
Date:July 23rd, 2008 05:13 pm (UTC)
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Ahhh!

You have not told me this. I would have cheered with you. (Except the no-brother-having-arbitrary-crap.)

I cheer with you now! Stuff in common!

[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:July 23rd, 2008 05:15 pm (UTC)
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You have not told me this.
There was no time!

(Except the no-brother-having-arbitrary-crap.)
I just threw that in for kicks. It's funny how everyone's jumping on that, as if I actually found my soulmate last night. We had some good conversation! That's all! We'll probably just be Indian buddies or something!
[User Picture]
From:dharmavati
Date:July 23rd, 2008 05:14 pm (UTC)
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That sounds awesome! Best of luck! In any case, you'll have made a cool new friend in the process. :D

I have to admit, I have this feeling that I'm going to be in your position a few years from now, and the idea of finding an interesting non-asshat guy who can then also win the approval of my crazy desi family is... daunting.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:July 23rd, 2008 05:16 pm (UTC)
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It's...not easy! Or fun! But...I wish you luck, and until then, you can laugh at me.
[User Picture]
From:erinkayehashet
Date:July 23rd, 2008 05:18 pm (UTC)
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Aw, she sounds really cool! I hope things work out...or that you at least stay in touch.
[User Picture]
From:obsession_inc
Date:July 23rd, 2008 05:19 pm (UTC)
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!!!!! Dude, awesome! YOU CAN TALK MEDIA WITH HER! BOOKS! MOVIES! COMIC BOOKS! (SHE KNOWS FROM COMIC BOOKS!!!!) And she is a globe-trotting journalist who is also cute!!!! Frankly, I'm tempted to say you should marry her just so we can talk to her on LJ.

(I am kidding.)

(Mostly).

(But she sounds like some kind of awesome superhero and YAY, SUNIL!)
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:July 23rd, 2008 05:32 pm (UTC)
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(SHE KNOWS FROM COMIC BOOKS!!!!)
Heh, actually, she didn't really seem to know a lot of comic books, although she had read some of Sandman and was planning to read Watchmen.

Frankly, I'm tempted to say you should marry her just so we can talk to her on LJ.
Heeeee. You always leave the most amusing comments.

But she sounds like some kind of awesome superhero
Hee hee hee.
[User Picture]
From:gymble
Date:July 23rd, 2008 05:27 pm (UTC)
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New friend! Yay!
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From:apriljoiex
Date:July 23rd, 2008 05:29 pm (UTC)
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At least you made a friend, at least you now have hope that there are "suitable" girls out there that you can talk to, at least you got her email address, and at least she's not an accountant! That's 4 at leasts! That is what I call a success.
[User Picture]
From:spectralbovine
Date:July 23rd, 2008 05:33 pm (UTC)
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And failure is just success rounded down!!
[User Picture]
From:sneaker328
Date:July 23rd, 2008 05:57 pm (UTC)
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Did you discover the next morning that she doesn't have a brother, so even if further correspondence turns your common interests into mutual attraction, your parents might not think she's good wife material?

Wooooow. Suddenly my life seems super normal.

My second cousin married a girl who only has sisters. Together they managed to make four sons- no girls (yet.) Another family friend married a girl with no brothers- they too have only sons so far.

Just saying.

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